Posted by BuffySummers  9/03/2019 9:25 pm | #1 |
Hi everybody! I'm new to the forum and wanted to share my journey involving my ex and also to hopefully get some perspective on where I'm at right now in the situation. In February of this year, I started having dreams about my ex-boyfriend from high school. I hadn’t seen him, talked about him or to him, thought about him, nothing dealing with him for 20 years up until these dreams started happening. These dreams bugged me because I didn’t understand where they were coming from, so I looked him up on Facebook and reached out to him. We reconnected and Facebook messaging turned into phone calls and text messages. I’m currently in Los Angeles and have been here for the past 13 years, while he is back in Chicago right now where we’re both from. Funny enough though, I learned he actually lived in San Diego at one point, only two hours away, for 7 years and neither of us knew we were that close to one another.
Surprisingly neither of us over the past 20 years of separation got married or had kids. Both of us had plenty of other failed relationships, but none to that level of commitment. Anyway, we finally saw each other again for the first time in 20 years July 2nd this year while I went back to Chicago to visit over the 4th of July. We had a fun full day at Six Flags Great America enjoying all the rollercoasters. I wasn’t sure how the day would end or how things would go and by the end of the night he brought up fooling around and we totally went back to his place and wound up hooking up that night. He’s not a believer in long-distance relationships and honestly neither am I. I think they only way they work is if someone moves. He also has two long-distance situations behind him that didn’t work out well for him. July 20th we had a conversation about feelings and emotions and all that. I was honest with him how I was starting to have real feelings for him again. While he said he was flattered, he didn’t say much else about how he felt. And when I asked him under total hypothetical/fantasy/pretend terms if I moved back to Chicago, could this actually happen, his response was he didn’t know. Yet he tells me things like he’ll never ghost on me and gets concerned for my well being and safety. Needless to say, he’s left not much to go off of and this just makes me feel stupid. I was a manifesting machine on things with him up until this point. I'd perceive something, then it'd happen. But once that conversation happened it was as if I hit a major roadblock in manifesting dealing with him. Perhaps this is where my problem starts. Maybe energetically I was doing something wrong at that time I shouldn't have been doing.
It’s frustrating because I don’t understand the dreams I originally had or why he’d come back into my life just for this. I don’t think it’s normal that someone who’s been out of your life for two decades suddenly returns for no reason or small reason. I haven’t texted him or anything since that conversation. I also haven’t heard from him either since that conversation. I’m not sure if or when I should reach out him. Anyway, despite 20 years of time past and 2000 miles of distance, I'd really love to give this another try. Energetically speaking I'm not sure what I should be doing. Everything Law of Attraction wise seems to say "act as if" and feel good about him as if we are already in that committed state (which is basically having faith to me). But I've also been researching stuff on feminine and masculine energies and the feminine energy experts say to basically ignore him energetically, don't think about him, starve it (which is really hard to do) in order to attract him back. I feel like these are conflicting approaches energetically speaking and it's giving me a mixed message. Am I supposed to go with one or the other? Or are they both correct approaches to take, but I'm not understanding how to make them work together?
Energetically speaking I'm trying to get it together first before I move forward in figuring out anything else. Beyond that, I'm trying to figure out if I should ever reach out to him again. Everyone keeps telling me not to and to have him chase me, but that's really hard because I really miss talking to him. Anyway, that's what's happening with me. Any insight and advice is welcome! Otherwise, I'm excited to be here as we all help each other in our LOA journeys! 
Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.
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Posted by BuffySummers 9/04/2019 12:16 am | #2 |
Thanks Cynthia, I'll have to look into Neville's teachings. I'm still learning so much on all this. I don't believe I was feeling lonely when the dreams started. I was actually feeling great and really productive in life when they began. It's still very unclear to me his return in my life. I understand I was the one who sought him out in the first place, but I likely never would have had those dreams never happened, and obviously, I wouldn't expect him to seek me out from my dreams haha. Originally I sought him out of curiosity, not really expecting anything one way or the other. It wasn't until we really began re-getting to know each other I started with visualizations and LOA stuff, because I found myself genuinely caring about him again and they were working up until that conversation. He was always very responsive and he was the one who made the advances when it came to sex. So it's confusing how he can be uninterested but make those advances. Or more so go cold after everything heated up. It's not like I'm planning on moving back to Chicago or anything. I'm still living my life in LA, doing my own thing. But ugh, it just hurts my heart a lot that things were going so well and now it's in this stuck energy.
Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.
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Posted by Cynthia 9/04/2019 12:35 am | #3 |
I deleted my reply from before, but I'm putting it back (and adding onto it) so it doesn't look like you're talking to yourself.
Anybody who has read my posts knows I am a big believer in Neville's teachings, and that's what I go by - law of assumption, living in the end of the wish fulfilled, imagining creates reality. It works for me. I was married for a long time to someone long before I ever heard of Neville by imagining I was married to him and wearing an imaginary wedding ring.
I don't know why you had dreams about the person. They come from the subconscious mind and could mean any number of things. Maybe you were feeling lonely. I'm not saying that's the case, just a possibility. Make sure you're not reading something into this and making it more than it might be just because you started dreaming about him.Going by what you've said, you were the one who sought him out. He doesn't sound that interested. However, that isn't necessarily the case, and that doesn't matter anyway because that can be changed, and there's nothing that's meant to be or not. You can decide that for yourself. Before you disrupt your life in some huge way over this person, be sure of what you want and then live in the end of having it. Whatever your desire is, as it is the same principle for anything, create it all in your imagination in as much detail as possible, have faith in your imaginal acts, be patient and persistent, and let the world change around you.
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If you decide you really want a relationship with this person, don't give up. You can make a part of it that he moves to LA if that's what you want. Apart from not knowing what to do, the main things I've seen on this forum over and over that make people fail are a lack of faith, lack of persistence, and lack of patience. I'm probably too patient, if there is such a thing. I had to learn that from a young age, and I'm the most persistent person I've ever known.
Below are 2 of Neville's recordings, short versions, The Secret of Imagining and Mental Diets, which are a good introduction.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l21MrsmG7v4
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KnPAsGiQyiI
Last edited by Cynthia (9/04/2019 12:45 am)
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by BuffySummers 9/04/2019 1:15 am | #4 |
Lol that's ok, I don't mind talking to myself. I think my end goal would be to actually move back to Chicago because we're both from there, our families are both there, and I'd like to have kids, so being where family is already would be the best option. But I don't want to relocate and go back there unless there is a definite 100% commitment from him. That has to come first. You are absolutely right though. In the end, regardless of what the end goal is, it's all about faith and patience. I honestly don't think there's such a thing as too much patience! I know this because I'm awful at being patient. Before this whole thing even happened one of my best friends told me she was praying for me that I would become more patient because I'm that bad at it. We all know that when we pray for patience we aren't just given patience, we're given opportunities to be patient in. And ever since this did start that's the message friends keep telling me over and over again: have faith, be patient, go with the flow. I will check out those two youtube videos before bed tonight. Thank you so much!
Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.
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Posted by Cynthia 9/04/2019 2:20 am | #5 |
You're welcome. Before I married my now former husband we were living about 5,000 miles apart in different countries and were writing to each other by snail mail probably about once each a month, and we probably talked briefly on the phone a couple of times, so it was really not much more than a pen friendship to begin with. I had left London before that and was planning to move back but had nowhere to stay. He had invited me to visit him, so that gave me somewhere to stay, at least temporarily, Before too long, I think it was 5 or 6 weeks after I arrived, he asked me to marry him, which I did a few months later. I'm not quite sure how to put this because it might sound contradictory. I sort of looked upon it as a visit with no commitment of any kind to stay or marry him so as to let things develop naturally once I'd got there and could have left at any time but had already done all the imaginal work of being married to him before I got there so everything just fell into place. We were married for a long time, but not now. With my current SP, almost anything that could be viewed as an obstacle is a part of the current situation, and I've been called 'delusional' by a non-believer about it, which I take as a compliment.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by Anita 9/04/2019 12:27 pm | #6 |
Cynthia wrote:
You're welcome. Before I married my now former husband we were living about 5,000 miles apart in different countries and were writing to each other by snail mail probably about once each a month, and we probably talked briefly on the phone a couple of times, so it was really not much more than a pen friendship to begin with. I had left London before that and was planning to move back but had nowhere to stay. He had invited me to visit him, so that gave me somewhere to stay, at least temporarily, Before too long, I think it was 5 or 6 weeks after I arrived, he asked me to marry him, which I did a few months later. I'm not quite sure how to put this because it might sound contradictory. I sort of looked upon it as a visit with no commitment of any kind to stay or marry him so as to let things develop naturally once I'd got there and could have left at any time but had already done all the imaginal work of being married to him before I got there so everything just fell into place. We were married for a long time, but not now. With my current SP, almost anything that could be viewed as an obstacle is a part of the current situation, and I've been called 'delusional' by a non-believer about it, which I take as a compliment.
And what happened with distance ? Did you just imagine you are married and you manifest it and he started live in your country or you in his country?
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Posted by Cynthia 9/04/2019 12:43 pm | #7 |
You're welcome. Before I married my now former husband we were living about 5,000 miles apart in different countries and were writing to each other by snail mail probably about once each a month, and we probably talked briefly on the phone a couple of times, so it was really not much more than a pen friendship to begin with. I had left London before that and was planning to move back but had nowhere to stay. He had invited me to visit him, so that gave me somewhere to stay, at least temporarily, Before too long, I think it was 5 or 6 weeks after I arrived, he asked me to marry him, which I did a few months later. I'm not quite sure how to put this because it might sound contradictory. I sort of looked upon it as a visit with no commitment of any kind to stay or marry him so as to let things develop naturally once I'd got there and could have left at any time but had already done all the imaginal work of being married to him before I got there so everything just fell into place. We were married for a long time, but not now. With my current SP, almost anything that could be viewed as an obstacle is a part of the current situation, and I've been called 'delusional' by a non-believer about it, which I take as a compliment.
And what happened with distance ? Did you just imagine you are married and you manifest it and he started live in your country or you in his country?
I didn't even think about the distance.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by Anita 9/04/2019 1:32 pm | #8 |
But I just want know how it was solved. Where we lived together? In your or his country?
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Posted by Cynthia 9/04/2019 4:15 pm | #9 |
But I just want know how it was solved. Where we lived together? In your or his country?
My experience or that of anybody else has absolutely no relevance to what you can achieve or not. What you are looking for is for reassurance. No amount of reassurance from me, or anybody, will convince you. You've got to convince yourself.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
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Posted by Anita 9/05/2019 4:17 am | #10 |
But I just want know how it was solved. Where we lived together? In your or his country?
My experience or that of anybody else has absolutely no relevance to what you can achieve or not. What you are looking for is for reassurance. No amount of reassurance from me, or anybody, will convince you. You've got to convince yourself.
No because when I read stories where people never manifest their dreams so I will afraid that it doesnt work and I never read some stories when people manifest theri sp even thought he working in another country....but when I will read stories where people was success and they manifest a relationship even thought their sp live in diff.country and they manifested their sp come back in their cointry so I will easier believe...its easier believe I can manifest a relationship with sp if he live in my country ...this is why I need read stories when sp work in diffrerent country and people manifested he started live in their country...this is why I wanted know how your situation was solved and where you lived with him when you manifested married because I know you just imagine you are married and thats all..when I will imagine Im maried so its can manifest that I will live in his country or that he will always work away.. when I dont will imagine other details....
