Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum / Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

**Posted by Believer21** 4/23/2019 8:25 am

Did two rounds on self love mediation today. Kind of addictive. I was doing my streches and suddenly my mind went "I'm amazing, I'm strong, I'm fantastic, I'm worth a fight..." On it's own which is different from the type of chatter that goes on in my head. And I stumbled across Lisa Nichol's video on her past which was crazy crazy inspiring.

In the evening I was chatting with my mom and she was telling me stuff about her past. She suddenly remembered something about my maternal uncle and his wife. My uncle delayed the wedding for a year because of his own reasons and back then no contact was the only option when someone far off doesn't want to contact you lol. Post the wedding, my uncle's wife told my mother that on their first meeting she had made up her mind that he was the man she was going to marry and she held on to that belief throughout the period of no contact. It was an arranged marriage, but even when my uncle was actively seeking a different bride, he had no other option but to return to the woman he's now married to. She was being shown to other men, she was from a village so and back then women didn't have much of a say. The only thing she had was her faith and her decision to marry my uncle. 35 years and happily married.

Out of the 27 years of my life my mom remembered about this today. When I decided to focus inwards. Timing is everything lol

**Posted by Believer21** 4/24/2019 8:06 am

All about self love right now! My chatter is changing direction. At times it's difficult to sit down and just do it but the fact that I've finally able to move my focus from everyone to myself is a huge deal for me.

**Posted by Believer21** 4/24/2019 11:48 am

I had this inside joke with a friend who mentioned that replace my DP with the photo of a dish he cooked, then my fiance might end up contacting and saying nice things to me. I was like cool. Put it up. It's been two days and I took it down lol. But it's chill. I mean he can contact me whenever he wants to, whenever both of us it ready.

Quite honestly, I feel quite proud about how far I've gone. 1 year back, something like this would have probably broken me down into tears. Right now I can laugh about it because whenever I think, it's so easy to visualise the wedding scene with him. It's just one scene, a few seconds maybe. But it's perfection. It's everything I want my wedding to look like and it's as real as it can get. I can just reach there and live in it. It's like a safe zone for me. The lights, the Colors, him, everything is clear as day. I love being there. It's the one thing I feel certain about. I saved his number again but it's okay. I don't even feel the urge to check. I'll know when he's ready. He'll communicate. Till then I'll just sit and chill in my perfect wedding scene.

**Posted by Kasper80** 4/24/2019 3:07 pm

To Believer 21-----I just started the challenge today- its sort of the same setup as " The Secret- Magic" practice book but more geared towards love. I will give it a try- tho Its only been 3 days since I heard from my man lol . IM grateful for that. I manifested him back then made it all about him and he went MIA since Sunday- but I know he will reach out I will be working on this when he reaches out but wont stop reading it just because he does. - I wanted to thank you for posting so much - its nice to read someone's journey-

Last edited by Kasper80 (4/24/2019 3:09 pm)

**Posted by Believer21** 4/24/2019 8:54 pm

Kasper80 wrote:
To Believer 21-----I just started the challenge today- its sort of the same setup as " The Secret- Magic" practice book but more geared towards love. I will give it a try- tho Its only been 3 days since I heard from my man lol . IM grateful for that. I manifested him back then made it all about him and he went MIA since Sunday- but I know he will reach out I will be working on this when he reaches out but wont stop reading it just because he does. - I wanted to thank you for posting so much - its nice to read someone's journey-

Thank you so much for reading! By the way something similar has happened with him, manifested him back, put him on a pedestal and boom, he disappeared lol. It pissed me off but now when I look back, I think it was for the good because there are things I had to learn!
All the best to you! I'm looking to reading your success story

**Posted by Believer21** 4/25/2019 12:48 am

So I feel a bit agitated right now. More like exhausted. I tried visualising this morning and I didn't feel like. I love him and if I see him in front of me right now I'll probably jump into his arms so badly that he might end up injuring his back lol. But something in me has changed. The visualisation routine feels to "methodical" right now. Something inside of me is yelling that I've done enough work and it's time to make him chase me. It's a hard thing for me and I'm struggling internally. All my life I've been the one chasing things and people and this idea feels like an open rebellion against my old self. But my old self has been pretty crappy when it comes to deliberate manifestations and being happy. My old self is trying to make me feel insecure and obsessive. I'm hell bent on choosing the newer version, the version that says "Let him chase you, let him understand what you're worth". Not because I feel that it will bring him back instantly ( I've waited two months already and I'm alive, ain't I? I mean I'll live irrespective of what happens, I've lived through the worst anyway) but because I need my life back.

PS - these two months have been about serious reshuffling with respect to a lot of things. I've left a well paying job without backup because my boss was acting crazy with the entire team. Most of my team is waiting for offers but I've experienced FIRST HAND how you attact the same work conditions over and over unless you rewire your thoughts and focus on what you want instead of what you don't). I'm moving from my current apartment based on my job location but most of the offer discussions have been from locations close to his place. Third, the Gym I've been going to since the past 3 years shut down recently. My whole weight loss journey has happened in that place and I was kinda attached to it, and I avoided moving in order to go there.

So yeah, war waging inside my head right now.

Last my birthday is next month and it will be amazing to be able to spend it with him. I usually keep my mom in town because I'm afraid of spending it alone. This time she'll be going back before my birthday. Don't get me wrong, it's scary as hell. But I have to open my doors. I have to keep the options open. Irrespective of how scary it gets. Else I'll never know what's possible and what's not.

**Posted by Kasper80** 4/25/2019 8:41 am

I hear ya...last night I was up at 4:45 am crying because I wanted to just forget about him lol...for me...I need to focus on self love and controlling my emotions..because really--If I am wanting him one day then angry the next..he is gonna feel that..which explains why he hasn't responded to me in few days....so I tell myself chill the F out woman and relax!! I mean..if I truly believe this is the man I'm going to marry then I need to have faith that things will work out...and respect his need to take some time...everyday is a learning lesson and I will try this 25 day challenge. but yeah..my emotions are what hurt me I'm a Pisces for Christ sake and we are VERY EMOTIONAL....ugh... but this is my baby..and I love him enough to stop reaching out and just give him time to think. we are what we feel...and If im constantly hot and cold..he will be too....

**Posted by Believer21** 4/25/2019 9:08 am

I get it. I feel it too. But we gotta stop beating ourselves over feeling bad occasionally. I mean we are all human, not Buddha personified. Control gets easier with time. In my last relationship I was hot and cold for a year and after a point I was like to hell with him. I sent my previous guy a long text saying everything unsaid and decided to put myself out there and 2 weeks later my fiance arrives. Then I repeat my same pattern.
Whenever I feel hot and cold, I decide to forgive myself. I'm only human, I make mistakes and I'm sure I'll make plenty more during my lifetime. Can't beat myself over it, if I can't forgive myself no one will. In such cases I'm trying to tell myself that I love myself and even with doubts I can get what I want.

I've seen a lot of people in the forum commenting on how being able to "live in the end" has worked wonders. So many success stories, all have different methods. I guess that's good news for us, because it only means all of them work as long as we have faith in ourselves and our end results

**Posted by Kasper80** 4/25/2019 9:10 am

This is true thank you so much! Being hard on myself is another big one for me...I hereby forgive myself for freaking out LOL

**Posted by Believer21** 4/25/2019 9:12 am

Also something super cool happened. I love doing weights. One thing in my list is winning amateur competition this year. I work out quite a bit, some complications with my gym as I mentioned in my previous post so I keep crashing around in different gyms from time to time lol. I also go for boxing sessions and I've noticed I get a LOT of attention from the men there. Don't get me wrong, I'm farrr from the fitness model figure lol but I enjoy my workouts and I don't mind getting bruised or bruising my partners and by god I get too much attention. Even from men I'd once consider way out of my league.
Anyway I stumbled upon a poster for amateur weight lifting competition this Sunday and I'm so tempted.