I have been having similar anxieties and I think I know where it comes from but it still bothers me. I have always been paranoid about people I love dying early as if the universe is trying to spite me and I know, I know, that's not how it works, and it has never happened. But if the circumstances of people's death is already decided in advance like many spiritual teachers seem to say, then that kind of makes me more paranoid that things could be timed badly as part of my so called path, which probably doesn't exist. I feel like Neville probably had a very different view on it. Does anyone know if Neville spoke about this and if so, which of his books is it in?
As for where it came from, I believe this is partly from religion. This idea of being humble, taken ridiculously out of context. Somehow that turned into the fear of, don't get too happy or it will get taken away from you. I also was especially triggered by this when it came to relationships because in the past they always went wrong before they had even started. I think this is part of the cause. But anyway, I don't want to focus on the negative, just wanted to say that in case anyone else finds it useful that might have had issues relating to religious conditioning.
So if anyone knows exactly what Neville would have to say about that particular subject, please let me know.
I am half way towards manifesting my person, and I know when I will see him next. I haven't posted an update yet because I didn't want to feel like it was a big deal because I wanted to stay calm. Would be nice not to be worrying about negative things in the meantime haha