Posted by Sanshi 1/08/2018 7:05 pm | #1 |
In this part I want to talk about meaning. It partly overlaps with what I was talking about in part 2, but it's still important enough to dedicate another post to it.
Nothing has inherit meaning. You can see that when you look at children. They have to learn the meaning of everything. Without someone telling them what something means, they can't understand it. So obviously the meaning isn't in the thing itself, but you create that meaning. It's an automatic process as long as you aren't aware of it, and it's so fast that you don't even notice that and when you are doing it.
Think about how you give meaning all the time and how you change it in different situations. Your doctor tells you that you have to drink a lot of water, because some kind of virus or whatever (secondary cause btw). When you see your glass of water you can only think of the bath tub full of water you have already drunk today and you really don't want to drink anything anymore. Look at that same glass of water when you are in the desert without water. Same object, different meaning. This example should make it very clear that we are what gives meaning. Nothing has meaning. Objects, circumstances, words - all is meaningless.
Why is meaning important? Because what meaning you give influences your state. In part 2 you learned that there is no secondary cause. So when you have mastered that lesson, you don't need to care about meaning anymore, because you know that the outer world can't do anything to you and so you stop giving meaning. But in the meantime, we should be very aware what meaning we give.
Example: I was taking a nap today. I heard music that I identified (gave meaning) as my phone ringing. I gave the incoming call meaning by thinking that this has to be my mother because who else should call me? Again, I gave meaning. I could have assumed something else here and that had affected my reality. I looked at my phone and saw that I was right, it was my mother. So I gave further meaning and tried to figure out what she could want. I assumed that she called because something went wrong with her return of tax and she needed some documents. Based on that, I gave the meaning that the call wouldn't be too pleasant. I didn't answer the call and returned to my nap. When I called her back later, I was right to the point that it ended in a big fight which was indeed not that pleasant. If I had given the meaning that she had something nice to tell me, the call had ended totally different. But I chose to give meaning on autopilot and that's what happened. You may say now that this sounds pretty logical and that your assumptions had been the same in my situation and that the situation had turned out the way it turned out anyway. I guarantee you, it hadn't. But I have another example which is much more impressive.
Two years ago, I applied for a student assistent job at my university. I got to know about the job via a news email from university that every single student gets twice a week. It was a programmer job for the psychology department. I am a programmer and I am studying psychology. So I was fully sure that I would get that job. I just made one mistake in my reasoning. In that emails, they promoted psychological experiments. I gave this fact the meaning that only psychology students get those emails. I was pretty sure that I was the only programmer under all that psychology students, so I was confident like hell. I applied, went there for an interview and..well, it felt backwards. It was more like they were promoting the job and hoping for me to want it. They didn't mention any other candidates and I got the job right away. I gave the email the meaning that there was no competition and there wasn't (see what was the cause here?). After I got the job, I started to think. My assumption felt stupid suddenly. Why should only psychology students get the news emails? Doesn't make sense. Till today, I don't have proof of either of my claims. But the meaning I gave that email led me to getting this job completely effortlessly. Why? Because it led to me changing my state to literally "this job is already mine". If I had believed in competition, I had gotten competition.
I hope those two stories made it clear how important the meaning is you give to things. Every meaning you give determines your state. And your state determines your thoughts, feelings, actions and circumstances. It all starts with meaning. When you look at something and it gives you anxiety, you gave it meaning before you started to feel anxious. When you look at something and it gives you joy, you gave it meaning before you felt the joy. When you realize that nothing has meaning and you make it all up, you can more easily give things another meaning and FEEL it to be true.
Short exercise:
Watch yourself assigning meaning to things. Find alternatives to the meaning you give. "Oh the fridge is empty, I have to go grocery shopping.". Stop right there. The fridge is empty. That's all. How can you know that a neighbour won't bring you their food, because they have to go to the hospital? Or someone invites you to a trip NOW and it's good that your fridge is empty, because that someone pays for all your food in very good restaurants. That may seem far-fetched. Come up with this possibilities anyway. They only feel far-fetched because your state is very different from the state that would create those experiences.
Key Points:
- nothing has meaning
- the meaning you give determines your state and your state your circumstances
Last edited by Sanshi (1/10/2018 12:51 pm)
Posted by Avaelle 1/08/2018 7:22 pm | #2 |
This will be fun
Posted by Lest4t 1/14/2018 11:07 pm | #3 |
I really like those post sanshi, you really explain things clearly I'm learning a lot keep up the good work
Posted by Sanshi 1/15/2018 11:05 am | #4 |
Lest4t wrote:
I really like those post sanshi, you really explain things clearly I'm learning a lot keep up the good work
Thank you A few other parts are already planned.
Posted by Avaelle 1/15/2018 9:15 pm | #5 |
Sanshi wrote:
Lest4t wrote:
I really like those post sanshi, you really explain things clearly I'm learning a lot keep up the good work
Thank you A few other parts are already planned.
I cant wait
Posted by Lest4t 1/16/2018 5:49 am | #6 |
Sanshi wrote:
Lest4t wrote:
I really like those post sanshi, you really explain things clearly I'm learning a lot keep up the good work
Thank you A few other parts are already planned.
Great! Looking foward to read them
Posted by Oasiscalm 1/16/2018 5:14 pm | #7 |
Sanshi wrote:
Short exercise:
Watch yourself assigning meaning to things. Find alternatives to the meaning you give. "Oh the fridge is empty, I have to go grocery shopping.". Stop right there. The fridge is empty. That's all. How can you know that a neighbour won't bring you their food, because they have to go to the hospital? Or someone invites you to a trip NOW and it's good that your fridge is empty, because that someone pays for all your food in very good restaurants. That may seem far-fetched. Come up with this possibilities anyway. They only feel far-fetched because your state is very different from the state that would create those experiences.
Key Points:
- nothing has meaning
- the meaning you give determines your state and your state your circumstances
Key Points:
- nothing has meaning
- the meaning you give determines your state and your state your circumstances
This is an important principle to grasp. And a good exercise to try.
As you do it you can expand your observation to observe the meaning you give to conversations and circumstances in your life. Challenging the meaning really opens your eyes to how limited we can be in our perceptions of what's going on.
You start to see how your knee jerk responses and the everyday language you use to describe situations has influenced how you life plays out before your eyes.
Posted by piper 1/16/2018 5:28 pm | #8 |
Oasiscalm wrote:
Sanshi wrote:
Short exercise:
Watch yourself assigning meaning to things. Find alternatives to the meaning you give. "Oh the fridge is empty, I have to go grocery shopping.". Stop right there. The fridge is empty. That's all. How can you know that a neighbour won't bring you their food, because they have to go to the hospital? Or someone invites you to a trip NOW and it's good that your fridge is empty, because that someone pays for all your food in very good restaurants. That may seem far-fetched. Come up with this possibilities anyway. They only feel far-fetched because your state is very different from the state that would create those experiences.
Key Points:
- nothing has meaning
- the meaning you give determines your state and your state your circumstances
Key Points:
- nothing has meaning
- the meaning you give determines your state and your state your circumstancesThis is an important principle to grasp. And a good exercise to try.
As you do it you can expand your observation to observe the meaning you give to conversations and circumstances in your life. Challenging the meaning really opens your eyes to how limited we can be in our perceptions of what's going on.
You start to see how your knee jerk responses and the everyday language you use to describe situations has influenced how you life plays out before your eyes.
This post from Sanshi and your reply, Oasis, is so important for me. Not reacting is THE hardest thing for me and realizing that words don't have meaning unless we give them one. I am still learning how to not react, though.
Posted by Sanshi 1/16/2018 5:29 pm | #9 |
I actually had a pretty impressive example of that today. Was talking to my mother and she told me about a new therapist she met for the first time. She liked her, but she hadn't a firm handshake. So she told me she wasn't for her..because of her handshake. She said that she needed a powerful woman as a therapist. It was really impressive to me how she assumed that a handshake does have meaning, then assigned meaning to that specific hand shake and believed without overthinking that this woman was too soft because of her handshake. When you think about it, it could have so many reasons.
Maybe uncle Sam had the handshake of a gorilla and he brought her down on her knees when she was a child. Now she don't want to be like uncle Sam.
Maybe she learned that it's impolite to sqeeze too much.
Maybe she learned nothing at all about it and it has nothing to do with her character.
Maybe it's not even necessary to give meaning to it.
The funny thing is that my mother really don't want her as her therapist, because of the meaning she assigned to that handshake. It seems completely irrational, but we are all doing it all the time while thinking that we are logical acting people.
Posted by DMR 2/19/2018 11:22 am | #10 |
Hi Sanshi
When will you continue your series? Looking forward to it