Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum / First post in a long time...multi-layered frustration.

**Posted by ellen** 7/12/2017 5:24 pm

Hi,
I realized today that the reason that I do not reach out for help in this forum is that I am concerned about negative posting. I also discovered a huge block that has been there ever since the breakup in 2015 -- smouldering anger and resentment.

I spent months denying it, visualizing joy, covering it up, resisting it.

I intentionally stopped contact with him, except for birthday greeting, which have been warmly accepted, then I move on.

He initially was in another relationship, but not sure what happened- it really isn't my business. He is naturally reserved, so that's normal.

But today, I looked on his social media (something I am done doing- it doesn't help anything and only hurts me). And there she was, his latest crush, with uncharacteristic public displays of affection and fawning, hearts and flowers, as she proudly displayed a sexy shirt he sent her. My heart fell.

I am now alternating between white hot anger and profound sadness for the years spent with him, the love and secrets shared...but never put on display in that manner.

I never realized just how angry I am about the whole thing until today. I feel that I have further jeopardized my self care and love by denying it.

I am extremely confused. I want to cycle through this, and let it go-- for good this time. But honestly.

I don't even know how to move on without denying how much I love him. I have managed -- with a few former lovers-- to do this, and remain friends, even still loving each other, but realizing that just because you love someone, it does not always work out a certain way. I want to get to this point with him -- not denying, not hating, not reacting, just loving and releasing. Could someone help me untangle this?

**Posted by PrettyFlamingo** 7/13/2017 1:56 am

Putting something on display doesn't give it more validation. Personally I'd be appalled at the thought of my life being in the public eye like that. My personal life is exactly that, personal. Maybe this woman is a different character to you, maybe more of an attention seeker. I hate the narcissistic world of selfies, look at me and how much X loves me etc. I just don't mix in those circles. Don't put yourself down over this. Think of what's fabulous about you. When I felt rubbish I got together with my friends and asked them what they liked about me. It's really enlightening.

**Posted by Stacey** 7/13/2017 2:19 am

I'll admit I'm a fan of a selfie and a cutesie photo with a boyfriend occasionally but I believe a good relationship is one that's not plastered all over the internet.

As PF as said you should focus on what's fabulous about you. When I was reading Elizabeth Daniels' book one of the chapters suggests you write what's good about yourself. You have many good qualities I bet. When I was struggling for ideas on that list I wrote I make a great cup of tea, I've been told I do so that makes me happy thinking about. Your friends will be able to list all the good about you.

**Posted by jensherratt** 7/13/2017 2:23 am

If a relationship looks good on social media, chances are, its not.

I know someone who at the start of the relationship it was all over social media (both of them) now, its only visible on hers. Its all over her Instagram yet there is not a single sign of it on his. Sometimes there is but it ALWAYS goes away. But he is cheating so he is hiding it from other girls.

**Posted by ellen** 8/05/2017 8:55 pm

I forgot to thank everyone for responding to this post! I got through it- thanks!