Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum / I love abusive guy

**Posted by Jovana** 4/22/2017 5:33 pm

After his unblocked me (after almost 6 months of no contact) and started to say hi and started to make conversations with my son (about week ago he was talking with him to play football) today my son saw him riding a bicycle with some girl.
I don't want to make Disneyland from that but... BUT...
I think that everything was lie. He is with me then he disappear for two weeks or month or four months... Then he comes back. He has his attacks like- we are in bed cuddling and laughing and he just jump from bed and start telling me to go home. Few moments after he starts with awful words to me...
So I'm not sure that I can change my thoughts so much that I can have some change here... I think that my situation is... I was with abusive guy who has many issues. I love him but maybe it's better for me to love him and not to be with him...
Last argument was like- I came from holiday and brought him a souvenir. He place it on my car and I was like-wtf?! I went to his office and said to him that he was very rood etc and with calm voice wanted to talk with him. It ended with his hands on my throat.
So... Maybe... I don't know is every time my thoughts made this or feelings or what... In start of relationship and first few break ups I was stronger and always with smile and etc But after we went to sea together I totally snapped... I didn't understand nothing. Last night (at our vacation) he was having nightmares and I woke him up few times. In the morning he was nervous and he just stopped talking with me. On our way home he didn't want to speak with me for 6 hours. Finally when we arrived he told me that he doesn't need idiot like me. Few days after he put on my car souvenirs from his trip (he went after our vacation on business trip) and started to play with my son a and do everything to be with me.
This was long post and it was just few examples... I think that I must fix me now. My heart and feelings and brain.

Last edited by Jovana (4/22/2017 5:36 pm)

**Posted by PrettyFlamingo** 4/22/2017 5:42 pm

You don't need Law of attraction you need to get the hell away from this guy. Seriously. Respect yourself. You cannot be abused.

**Posted by Jovana** 4/22/2017 5:44 pm

Yes... I know... It was so painful. Now is more painful then ever. And I was always making myself guilty but it is too much to be guilty for. He has really big issues...

**Posted by rpt.sunnymist** 4/22/2017 6:04 pm

Hello dear,
I thought i will write to win him by changing him through visualisations but when i read hands on throat!!!!!!!!

Self love please!!!

You are beautiful amazing who tried all but these moments may for warn you.

Sometimes when it comes we say enough is enough.

And we are all wonderful people here so be far from that negativity where there is no respect at all.

And fullfil your days where you be alone with yourself & know how God loves you, created you.
Your pain will be converted into love by being in positive side.
We all are here for you.
Lots of lights jovana.

Last edited by rpt.sunnymist (4/22/2017 6:06 pm)

**Posted by Jovana** 4/22/2017 6:24 pm

rpt.sunnymist wrote:
Hello dear,
I thought i will write to win him by changing him through visualisations but when i read hands on throat!!!!!!!!

Self love please!!!

You are beautiful amazing who tried all but these moments may for warn you.

Sometimes when it comes we say enough is enough.

And we are all wonderful people here so be far from that negativity where there is no respect at all.

And fullfil your days where you be alone with yourself & know how God loves you, created you.
Your pain will be converted into love by being in positive side.
We all are here for you.
Lots of lights jovana.

Thank you. This is just a part of story and I think that maybe it would help for some woman who has something similar or same...
And thank you for all your kind words.
The most ridiculous part is that I stopped when I heard about that girl...

**Posted by PrettyFlamingo** 4/23/2017 4:26 am

What exactly do you love about this guy?

**Posted by Jovana** 4/23/2017 6:05 am

PrettyFlamingo wrote:
What exactly do you love about this guy?

This is very good question...
When he doesn't have his attacks he is very nice... Sounds like an awful cliche, I know... I was in state of guilty like I am guilty for his behavior, he is like that because of me... But everybody told me that he has an obvious problem. I was afraid of him many times. It's like wolf in sheep skin (if you understand what I'm saying)

**Posted by PrettyFlamingo** 4/23/2017 7:04 am

You cannot blame yourself or hold yourself responsible for his appalling behaviour. The problem is his and his alone.

**Posted by Jovana** 4/23/2017 7:22 am

PrettyFlamingo wrote:
You cannot blame yourself or hold yourself responsible for his appalling behaviour. The problem is his and his alone.

Yes, I'm repeating that to myself. I'm doing self love meditations and trying to bring my confidence back. I talked with psychiatrist and he told me that this is some kind of mental disorder. Maybe he is sociopath... I don't know. I just want myself back.

**Posted by mugginess** 5/04/2017 2:33 am

Honey, please see a professional counsellor. No man is worth your self respect, LOA or not. You don't deserve this treat and a counsellor can help you get through those emotions you feel for him.