Posted by naibiri 3/29/2017 5:10 am | #1 |
It was March 19, 2017, evening time. I was in my barracks room with my new roommate, Curtis (her last name). We were chatting the night away, having girl-talk about our guys and whatnot, me about Armando, her about Chris, when suddenly Armando texted me. My eyes grew wide, as I had been wanting him to text me for a while now. I always want him to text me, but there was something about tonight that made it all happen to quickly. I was relaxed, I was content and happy, in a calm mood, and I suppose I was ready to receive, because there it was, a text from the love of my life.
He appeared to be angry with me, in a playful manner of course, but there was passion in his anger due to the ending of a book I had suggested he read. It was the second book I'd given him by now, called Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keys, and he was upset that the ending of the book was not what he wanted for the protagonist.
"So I finished that book," he texted. "Flowers For Algernon."
"You really read it," I replied. "Thoughts?"
"I f*cking hate it. I hate that he finally got what he wanted but only to have it taken away."
"My God," I replied, laughing with my roommate. "You must be livid. You sound livid."
"Livid?"
"Yeah, like super mad. It's making me laugh."
My phone began to ring.
He was calling!
I picked up, and he proceeded to complain about the book. It was so funny, but most importantly it was just so nice to hear his voice again. It was what I'd been wanting! Especially since he's not the type to really do phone calls, which I understand. I'm the same exact way. But I'd drop everything if it meant I got to be on the phone with him. His voice is one of my favorite sounds. I always relate it back to a deep, dark brown cup of hot, steaming coffee. It just has this heat to it, and it makes me think of the comfort of a mug filled with my favorite brewed coffee beans. He's Mexican, so he's got a little accent too. Makes me melt every time.
I did learn of something that night, as well. We texted for a bit afterward. His original unit is in Hawaii, but he's out here on this side of the planet visiting Korea for a month. That month, March, is coming to an end, and he told me he's supposed to just go back to Hawaii, when I've been told that some Hawaiian marines get sent to Japan for a good 6 months and then get sent back to their units. I'd been receiving signs from the Universe to keep my head up and to keep the faith regarding Armando, whether it was seeing 777 on a license plate (which happens a LOT it's insane), or seeing a Hawaiian figurine in someone's car or seeing Hawaiian bars or even Hawaiian trinkets or license plates or stickers in little stores and shops, or even bumping into other marines whose main unit is Hawaii and they were staying in Japan for, low and behold, 6+ months.
I had also asked the Universe to be put in a situation where I could get away from everyone at my unit and just be away with Armando for at least those 6 months in Japan or even longer. I had a dream we got married, and when I was given the opportunity I had asked for to temporarily leave my shop, there was no way it was just a coincidence. It had to be what I asked the Universe for!
Just recently, I talked with Armando again, and long story short, I told him that I still care about him. This is the conversation over the course of a few days:
Me: It was nice to hear your voice again. It got deeper.
Armando: Yeah my balls dropped a little more.
Me: Trying to empathize, and failing, but thank you for the visual.
Armando: You're welcome. *wink face*
Me: Still trouble after all this time. What am I going to do with you?
Armando: Nothing.
Me: On the contrary, I could figure something out.
Armando: Alright please let me know.
Me: You want me to destroy the element of surprise and tell you?
Armando: Yes.
Me: Ok. I'll tell you. If you reeeeally wanna know. On one condition.
Armando: What's that?
Me: I want to hear your voice again.
Armando: *sends video clip of his feet, saying "Ahh, it's my voice"*
Me: *crying face* Teasing me. :/
Armando: Not even.
Me: It's okay if you're working. I just wanted to answer your question before going to bed. But I wanted a phone call weirdo. And yes even!
Armando: I can't as of right now. I'm on duty.
Me: Had a feeling. Still had your cammies on in the video. All night?
Armando: *50mins later* I'm off
Me: :') *happy grabbing emoji
Armando: *calls*
We talk for a little, but not for long, because he ends up having to go do some stuff and he was losing signal.
Me: *four days later, he snapped himself listening to Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay* That's my song.
Armando: That's my song too.
Me: lol since wheenn
Armando: Since I first heard it.
Me: same I love the music video too. What's your favorite song right now?
Armando: I haven't seen the video. I don't know truthfully.
Me: Guess what your homework is. Alright top three.
Armando: Idk. Wait, did you ever tell me what you would do?
Me: Never got a chance to. Someone's signal decided to cut me off.
Armando: So then tell me. Now.
Me: Are you able to talk on the phone?
Armando: As of right now no.
Me: Some time tonight?
Armando: Mmm I'll see
Me: Would it be easier if I typed it?
Armando: Yes!!!
Me: Okay. I do have to ask something first. When I said 'What am I gonna do with you?' Why did you say 'Nothing'?"
Armando: Because you got no balls.
Me: You don't think I have the balls to tell you?
Armando: Nope.
Me: Bien, dame un segundo *"Alright, give me a second" in Spanish*
Armando: Segundo means second
Me: Damn Daddy's being bossy tonight
Armando: Ahaha anyways tell me
Me: Well, for starters, you're wrong about me doing "nothing". What I'm gonna do is not lose you.
Armando: Not lose me?
Me: Yes. Nothing's changed. I still care about you. You're the only one that I want. Nobody else matters. There's been opportunities [to be w other ppl] but I just can't bring myself to let anyone in the way I've let you. I just can't see myself with anyone else.
Armando: *after a long wait* I understand.
Me: How do you feel about that?
He stopped replying. Mind you, he read that last message at 2 in the morning.
So, everyone, while I was able to manifest not one phone call but TWO, I'm still a tad bit confused about his non-response to what I said. I definitely proved that I have the balls to say what's on my mind, but I can't help but wonder what he's doing with my words, and why he couldn't respond. I need encouragement regarding this. I know he's not really a man of too many words, and I understand that it's hard for him more than it is for me to try to be together while being in the marine corps, with him being stationed so far, but it's not impossible. There's so many holes in my story, but with what I've been able to give, I hope someone reading this can understand my need for a little validation, a little encouragement, and maybe even a little advice about the situation. After my confession, I've decided to try and do Veronica's 25 day challenge again, back to no contact, and hope and believe for the best. I'm just in a bit of a foggy spot, and would love it if someone could help me. Thank you for reading if you did, and I plan to update my situation and do some more scripting in the near future.
Posted by Jenny 7/17/2017 8:12 pm | #2 |
I'm gonna tell you what is gonna work for you. You told him all you are feeling, that you want him, and still care about him. What did he do? Hide. He got scare and I have been there I swear it. You feel like u would do anything for him and if only he could understand that he would love you. But that's not how it works.
First love yourself, I have given this advice so many times this days but it's essential. Stop thinking about Armando and think about taking care of yourself. Go on a dates, set a profile at tinder, Go to the gym and lose weight if needed, take care of your hair and clothes. Feel beautiful. Feel like any man in this word would be lucky to have you and no the other way around. You are a creature like no other. No hay dos cómo tú.
Now before you start this challenge tell him you are gonna get over him. That you need someone who's serious about dating you. And tell him that despite the distance when people want things to work out, they don't give up. You already pUT all you cards on the table and saying this is gonna to give you some power back and mysterious. And it's a good thing.
And do the challenge, if at the end of the 25 days he isn't called you telling he want to do things right, start to move on. Move on is a way to realise resistance too.
have a good day