Hi everyone,
I lost him again. When I lost him, it hit me like a ton of bricks how needy I was. It hit me how toxic I was because I was lacking self love and not feeling 1st best. Whenever I send him love, I start crying because I feel so bad for being so toxic for him. I know he loves me but how could he stay with me when I made him feel inadequate for "not loving me properly"? I put the burden on him to love me bc I was so needy and demanding. I was so fearful that he was going to hurt me that I ended up hurting him. I didn't know I was doing this when we were together. It hit me when he left. I hurt him when I thought I was loving him...
How do I forgive myself? I said sorry to him, but it still hurts me that I loved him with conditions, not unconditionally. It hurts me that I hurt someone who I love. I never intended to make him feel that way, but I did.
I hope this makes sense. Thank you.
Last edited by LOAlife (7/30/2019 9:19 am)