They get into a state of being of "having" by feeling as if they have their desire. That's where visualization, self-love, and changing your belief system all come into play. That's why we're told over and over again to feel as if we are already in the relationship we want, to feel the love and other senses when we visualize. Feeling like we are already there helps us be in a state of mind/ state of being that we are already there. But most people see these techniques in terms of effort or magic tricks for quick results. They think "If I do x then y will happen" but it's more like "I feel y therefore I am y". They're stuck on "I must get him back, what can I do to have him back???" but they're not on the level of "I feel love, I feel loved. I am whole, I don't have to worry or control because I already feel love, my life is whole and amazing no matter what..." Those are two very different vibrations.