alex31 wrote:

Hi Cynthia,

I said that because at times I feel that way. Funny enough I spoke to my friend the other day who has the same issue I do and when he was explaining how irrational his thinking was it clicked for me what I have been doing to her and myself this whole time. I am thankful that she is similar too and understands what I go through. Thinking on it she may not be angry at all but she wants me to see for myself what I am doing. Your right going back through all her messages I notice she stays quiet because she doesn't want to feed into my episode. So her course of action is too let me see it on my own which is also why she is avoiding me to avoid triggering me. Everything she ever told me all said the same thing she just wants to see change and consistency. And since we are almost at the next phase of our relationship she doesn't want to carry it into our marriage. If that's not love I don't know what is. I've been seeing everything from the wrong perspective.

Also I have been taking your advice. It's just some of the teachings I have to do extra research on because the way neville explains it is a little hard to grasp for me on certain things so when I get other examples or perspectives it helps. Fpr example I just realized yesterday that I had the wrong idea of what a mental diet was but now it makes sense to me that I do.

Also I do appreciate all the help you provide me with. Don't get me wrong my last message wasn't meant to be defensive I just never understood the perspective you were coming from until now. Now that I do my sinceriest apologies it's kind of like driving through a hurricane where you know where your going but its hard to see how to get there that's how I am with my words in those situations. Also thank you for helping me with my relationship it really means alot to me.

 

Irrational. What an excellent word for it. 

Neville's got a lot of lectures and I listen to some of them most days. They are longer than the recordings I mentioned before, an average of 44 or 45 minutes or so, and the recordings I mentioned are more of an introduction. I recommended them as a starting point because they are so much shorter.

Letting go means letting go of all of the fears, doubts, and other negativity surrounding a situation/desire, not of your desire. Neville mentioned it in conjunction with when he got an honourable discharge from the army, having first been turned down, and he'd written in detail to a Freudian about his age that he knew who was also in the army and wanted an honourable discharge, telling him exactly what he did. The Freudian was so wedded to a Freudian viewpoint that he wasn't even willing to try what Neville did and stayed in the army a further 3 years until the war ended and everybody got out because, as Neville said, he couldn't let go and try Neville's advice. He couldn't let go of his habitual thinking and expand his mind to try something completely different.

You don't let go of your desire. What you let go of is doubts, fears, worries, disbelief, anything negative that is causing a conflict in your mind with attaining your desire. I personally listen to (and read) Neville on a regular basis. That helps me more than anything. It's the best antidote I know of to the way most people think, which puts so much emphasis on outward appearances as though they are  unchangeable facts. The more I have listened to him, the less significance outward appearances have had to me.

Yes, ignore everything that you perceive is happening in your outward experience and keep imagining things being exactly as you want them to be and that everything is already ideal, just the way you want things to be - i.e. live in the end. What is going on in your imagination is creating what you are experiencing, and it can take some time for the outer world to change in response to your inner world changing.

For heavens sake, do yourself (and her) a big favour and stop trying to analyse everything she says and does and instead imagine her doing and saying exactly what it is you want her to say and do. Don't take things personally and use that as ammunition against yourself. For example, if she says she is busy, don't read something into it that isn't there and interpret that to mean she doesn't want anything to do with you, accept that she's busy. You'll save yourself a lot of grief that way.

Neville talked a lot about the law of assumption. You can either assume the best or assume the worst, assume things as being the way you want them to be, even though there may not yet be any outward, tangible evidence of that, or that they aren't the way you want them to be, and the one you choose and focus on is the one you'll get. The assumption, the belief, comes before the event. One believes things into existence. That saying 'I'll believe it when I see it' is opposite to the way things work. Youy'll see it when you believe it. Be consistent. Consistency is very important. If you're like a pendulum swinging back and forth, how can you expect to make any progress? 

Last edited by Cynthia (6/18/2020 4:01 pm)