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4/18/2019 9:59 am  #11


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I found a track we'd listen together during our early dates. Reminded me and makes me determined, reenforces my belief about him. We are the best for each other. That mad level of emotional and spiritual connection is what I deserve. That's what we all deserve so why settle for something lower. Observation : old memories make me happy, brings back the wonderful range of emotions I experienced back then! Quite an upgrade from the time when remembering things was painful.

 

4/18/2019 10:51 am  #12


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

Suddenly I'm back to the moments when I first realised that I was falling in love with him and he was falling in love with me ❀

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4/19/2019 11:08 am  #13


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I met an ex's sister today. He had passed away because of an accident and we were good friends since childhood. It feels really good being connected to his family, being able to see his baby sister grow up into an amazing young woman

I had a few weird encounters today, I noticed a car pass by with a man looking at me and I was almost shocked because he looked like my fiance. Similar face structure, hair, trimmed beard, black shirt ( that's actually my favourite shirt). He wasn't, my vehicle crossed his again and I noticed it wasn't. But for a minute it looked like it was him.

For fun and some divine help, I made my own question answer box (seems like the right name). I've put inside some 40-50 pieces of paper with my favourite quotes, techniques, and scenarios. It basically has everything I want by 2020. I Keep adding things from time to time because adding more elaborate intentions has become easier. Instead of thinking "that's impossible", my attitude has shifted to "no harm in asking" lol. Whenever I'm down, I shake the container, close my eyes and pick up a piece and see what's written. Day one and I've picked up the most appropriate things. When I felt down, I picked up "true discovery lies inside", and "faith and love can move mountains"( note I've added my own quotes, not necessarily stuff I've found online). Later in the evening I picked a piece and it says "think about your dream wedding".

I'm finding my own custom solutions based on what feels good and fun to be more appropriate. I thought of a vision board earlier but I have to take it out whenever someone visits to avoid unnecessary free advice on being "realistic". I am proud of everything I want but why invite the unnecessary negativity when I can avoid it ? Also if someone asks about my relationship, I ballantly mention it's awesome. Earlier I'd feel worried about flopping big time. Now it feels obvious. Like yeah, it's happening anyway.

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4/20/2019 7:27 am  #14


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I feel a bit exhausted today. Sort of tired of reading so much of material on the same thing over and over again. I was on the verge of buying a new book an something again and I stopped myself. I know the rules. I've etched them all inside my head. I've retrained years of thought process but it's useless if it's not making me happy. I think I'll take a break from trying to manifest and think about other stuff till I feel like thinking about him again. I could try picking from the box again but I will avoid forcing myself from doing manifestation related activities till I feel like doing it.

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4/20/2019 10:45 am  #15


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I would actually take a pause and just allow yourself to be in the moment and have it be ok Make yourself important right here in the moment.

Believer21 wrote:

I feel a bit exhausted today. Sort of tired of reading so much of material on the same thing over and over again. I was on the verge of buying a new book an something again and I stopped myself. I know the rules. I've etched them all inside my head. I've retrained years of thought process but it's useless if it's not making me happy. I think I'll take a break from trying to manifest and think about other stuff till I feel like thinking about him again. I could try picking from the box again but I will avoid forcing myself from doing manifestation related activities till I feel like doing it.

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4/20/2019 11:16 am  #16


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

Thanks for the response Veronica. I'll do that

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4/21/2019 1:19 am  #17


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

Back to weird coincidences. I had told my gym trainer about a possible switch in location due to work. I was speaking to him about next month's plan and for some weird reason he mentioned something like "when you switch to X part ( where X is the area where my fiance lives) we can make arrangements accordingly". Note I've never mentioned X. The area I mentioned to him is some 10-15kms away from where he lives. I hadn't even noticed it earlier.

I used to work out a lot. I have lost around 60 lbs in the past year. I had a major leg injury and for months I had worked out with a cast on my foot. Some stuff happened last month and I had to stop working out. Working out should help me gain my focus back. I have 20 pounds to lose by 3 months, booked a trek I had been planning to complete since the past 3 years.

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4/21/2019 3:24 am  #18


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

Gave Mom a handmade card (she's visiting my place). She's very happy

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4/22/2019 3:31 am  #19


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

Ended up opening his profile. Everything is like I've wanted it to be. This is it. I'm closing off social media. I open it in the name of finding gigs when in reality I know it's an excuse to think about him and miss him.

It's okay. People slip. I'm just learning and shaking off my old habits, years of junk from my brain.

I remember after the first time we had to part ways he really really wanted to be friends with me. I was reluctant but I eventually accepted because I sensed his regret. He loves me dearly and time and again he's proved that. He just wanted me to be there. We were always amazing together, it was a particular family member who caused resistance. I remember the day we had come together again. I had stopped all visualisations, everything. I was happy to be friends with him, happy to have him in my life. I had accepted everything because I love him so much and I understood that me causing trouble would only hurt a fantastic soul who's had a rough life. I would look at his photo and tell him how amazing his smile looks and how I couldn't wait for the album.

One night I went out with my friends and got drunk. Happy drunk. I texted him saying I was drunk and happy and no matter what I'd be his best friend and biggest supporter. He texted saying he wanted to meet me. He rushed in within hours and greeted me with a smile that told me that he had done something huge and he was madly in love with me. We reconciled but I had so many doubts, I wasn't ready. So it's quite obvious what happened after that.

I've done this once. With him. I fully understand what happened after that. My negativity whispered in my ears and told me this happiness was short lived and exactly within a week that's what happened. I was aware of the fight going on internally but he was hell bent on shielding me.

I will do it this time. I deserve him. I deserve the man who cares for me the way he does. I deserve him. He's been projecting all my insecurities. My urge to open his profile is an indicator of the amount of work that has to be done inside.

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4/23/2019 3:24 am  #20


Re: Started the challenge today. Desire help with letting go

I've decided to move completely into the self love zone. I mean I visualise him anyway. And it's always amazing. It's warm and wonderful and it's perfectly happy. But self love wise there needs to be work done. I have lot of changes to make personally and professionally in the upcoming months and being confident and satisfied with myself from the inside is of utmost importance.

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