I am utterly baffled by the relationships here. Is this woman your girlfriend or your ex? Or is she with the other guy and you are the ex? You're talking about your girlfriend, your exs boyfriend and it's so confusing.

Are you all on holiday together? If so and you're all in the same location where does Whatsapp come into it? I can't even begin to understand the basic dynamics of what these relationships are never mind how you feel and that makes it perhaps difficult to advise you.

Last edited by PrettyFlamingo (12/31/2018 4:55 am)

Desperation isn’t gonna get you anywhere. Please reread all the advice you have gotten and do it. You seem to be pretending to be positive while still feeling desperate. That’s not gonna work. This also doesn’t belong in the self love section. Honestly I would stop hanging out with them for awhile. I have common friends with my guy and when he was with his ex If i felt I could I could be there I would and be able to have fun instead of focusing on them  but if I couldn’t left or didn’t go. I listened to me. It wasn’t out of malice or anything. Yes I was doing technique to set my intention but after that I focused on being at peace with myself and allowing. Doing things for yourself is not putting yourself in situations you feel uncomfortable in unless you can handle it and clearly you cannot . I would also say you cannot because you aren’t doing the internal work. You just want the outside to change that’s it.

Last edited by Selfloveiskey (1/04/2019 5:32 am)

backon wrote:

Thank you but are you telling me to work on self love when you say working internally?
Lastly my brother saw my ex gf at the same party he was in for New Years while I was on a vacation. Should I ask my brother what happened to know about her.

Oh god yes you need to work on self love and focusing on other things in life instead of revolving your life around this. Like no don’t ask about her. That is like why? Why does it matter? Guess what it doesn’t. You’ve set your intention and now you need to allow and let go. I would say for you probably doing visualizing and all that won’t help you because you are coming from I have to have this I have to know when I have to etc. I need her etc. until you let go on that desperation (which for me I find when I focus on me self love and all that I am able to allow and therefore don’t need it so I’m not desperate.) nothing is gonna change at all. When you visualize and all that while desperate or even do anything desperate you are just saying I need it to be happy. I can’t survive without it. That energy repels and basically you are reinforcing you don’t have that thing and need it.But also do you want to live your life YOUR life with SOMEONE ELSE as a focus? On that pedastool? Heck no. You really need to start by taking the focus putting it on you and taking time and focus away from her.

Last edited by Selfloveiskey (1/04/2019 7:34 am)

backon wrote:

Ok now I get it. You are absolutely right and I thank you for letting me know what I was doing.
Now if I had to tell you that to destract my mind I’ve to focus on self love and one way that I was doing was going out with my friends and cousins. So that I’m thinking about her.
Now if I’m going out with my friends my ex girlfriends current bf happens to be part of that same friend circle as he’s mutually connected to my friends. So he doesn’t know I dated her coz my ex never told him. That’s the reason he’s okay with me being around but I can’t see him coz if I’m going out with my friends he’s there too. Which makes me think and see what’s going on between them .

This isn’t what I’m telling you to do. Do you see how repetitive you are? Also just going out with friends isn’t enough if you aren’t present enjoying yourself. You also may want to hangout with them without him being there or hangout with other people unless you can enjoy yourself whether he is there or not.

backon wrote:

Yes I can hangout but mostly he’s there. LAstly I’ve become addicted to stalking her on social media as I miss her terribly. At nights I wake in the middle just feeling scared. I’ve been constantly getting dreams about her and her bf is chasing us.

Doesn’t sound like you can hang. Also I’ve been telling you what to do. Leave her alone focus on you. That’s it.