Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum » Love Conquers Time & Space!

Aquilina · 8/29/2018 11:50 am

So, I am starting out manifesting a long distance specific person. I want to share my journey here, to help motivate others in the same situation and to motivate myself and to keep me on track! Hopefully it can help anyone in a similar situation, and we can help each other This post will probably end up being quite long! You have been warned

I have known about the law of attraction for almost 10 years. I have had some success, which never actually felt deliberate, but not with relationships. I always found it so hard to control my thoughts and emotions. I recently discovered Veronica on Youtube and have been having some coaching emails. So my situation is, I recently moved to a new country and met the most incredible man who was staying in this city for a month and who I had the most incredible time with. We had the greatest connection on every level. He lives about 1000 miles away. I really feel that he is a soul mate. When he left I just plummeted into depression (which I have a history of) and it took me a few weeks to get back to functioning somewhat normally.

So basically, things were going great with him while he was here, and I surprised myself that I was so natural and had the greatest energy and was completely myself with him, as this is a thing I had not been able to do before. I've never had a relationship before. Usually I am always worrying and being negative and having no self worth. Anyway, things were amazing and I felt so much happiness and so much love towards this person. I was still worried as I knew he was only going to be there for a few weeks, but it never showed when I was in his company, only when I was on my own in between. I was really anxious, wondering what was going to happen, suddenly aware of all my self esteem issues resurfacing.

Every time I would think these thoughts, I would see a special number I have, in perfect timing, that usually appears when I need reassurance. I was impressed by how accurate and how often I would see it. When I was feeling really sad one time, I saw it four times at once! And it's a two digit number.

We hadn't agreed on any relationship or anything, but he invited me to visit him, but we have no specific plans for that at the moment. After we had said goodbye, I said I knew we would see each other again, and he said he knew it too. I wanted to trust that I would see him again in future and that it would all work out but I had all these issues dragging me down, and also all these ideas in my head that other law of attraction teachers give about it being a bad idea to want someone specific etc, and that the universe knows best. Even if there was someone "better" I would still want him because I am stubborn and I have every right to want what I want. Veronica reminded me that I am the Universe and it is not separate, planning other things than what I am focusing on.

So when he left, I was okay for a few days, then I started to get paranoid and have all these negative thoughts, based on not feeling good enough, feeling unlovable, finding it impossible to believe that anyone would want to be with me, let alone to make the effort despite the long distance. I was just crying all the time, fighting with my own thoughts, completely depressed. I would obsess over his messages and wonder why he was contacting me less than I expected based on the experience we had together, but I knew it was all down to my energy.

Eventually, I started to come to a point of understanding some things I have been wanting to understand about myself for many years. First of all, to actually understand the meaning of self-acceptance, I had to understand that over many years, I had been pushing away negative feelings and judging myself. This lead to me feeling a split in my consciousness, where this rejected and abandoned part of myself was negatively trying to get attention, just so that I would have acceptance of it. This helped to calm down that negative inner voice/self-talk, although it is going to take a bit of time to fully get to the point of always being nice to myself. Or maybe it will be quicker than that! I was able to see myself as a being of light and to see myself in a genuinely positive way for the first time in years, without having this negative inner voice that was so strong it almost felt like another personality.

Next lesson I learnt, was that there is nothing wrong with me. I have suspected for a few years that I some form of autism, undiagnosed. A friend told me that my school or whoever should have noticed and helped me, and they didn't, so they failed me and I should not blame myself for the problems it caused later in life. Whether I have it or not, going through life feeling like you don't have a clue what is going on around you leads you to feel that you don't belong and eventually, combined with other factors, this guild about even existing became pretty much a part of who I was, and I knew it, and I knew it was false, and I didn't know what to do about it. But now I understand, okay, I might be a bit "weird" by other people's standards, but the only person I need to listen to is myself, I will receive the guidance I need from the Universe. I don't have to fit into their world or behave the way they think I should. So again, self-acceptance.

Next lesson - nothing is wrong. I had a great time with him. He acknowledged we have a special connection. We have spoken pretty much every day since he left, even if it has been brief. I have done nothing wrong. Based on the last point, I have been walking around my whole life always feeling like something is wrong, or that I am doing something wrong. Apart from the needy feelings which he may have picked up on, things are still fine, there is still possibility. This helped me to relax a bit.

I'm still feeling a bit stuck in terms of the self-worth, wondering to myself what it really means and how to develop it. So that's where I'm at now. He has been on a retreat without a phone for a while but now he has finished I am feeling the obsessive thoughts of "when will he contact me" coming in. But I have never wanted something more in my life and this is going to happen. Actually, what I want more, is to be myself and feel good. I'm going to be the person I really am and have always wanted to be, and this will attract him, and I will have both xD

I always found it hard to visualise but I was just being a perfectionist. Another post on here I was reading gave my some encouragement about that so let's see.

Oh, and one more lesson I learnt...so if I want to visit his country, I have to go to my home country to get a visa in person. I had it all planned out in my head on when I would go and do this and when I would see him, and then I realised I wasn't letting the Universe do its things. Besides, he had said the month I wanted to go would be fine, but we have no specific plans and I wouldn't feel comfortable in forcing it, without equal communication from both sides, and at the moment I am not focusing on myself or feeling good enough about myself to allow that.

I had even decided to move away, because there were too many memories here reminding me that he's not here. I was going to go to my home country for a while then I had a couple of new places in mind to go to. But...I don't have anywhere to stay in my home country because my Mum just has one bedroom. So I was going to have to find some temporary accomodation for about a month, get this visa, make plans with him etc, try to organise where I was going to move to etc...

Then I realised...I am basing my entire life on this person!!! I wanted to move away because it felt like the path of least resistance, like Abraham Hicks talks about, I thought a change of scenery would help me to clear my head and feel better. But the stress of all of that planning was creating more resistance so I decided to stay for a while longer. I decided I am not going to plan in my head when this trip will happen for me to visit him. So I am going home for a short visit unless things develop. Also, nobody is worth me changing my whole life around no matter how important they are to me.

He travels a lot. He's going travelling over winter which is why I was so obsessed with going to visit at a specific time, before he leaves. But whatever, I will let the Universe sort it out. Miraculous things can happen I am sure. I also realised I wasn't valuing what I could bring to a relationship, feeling like his plans were worth more than my involvement in his life, which isn't true. Anyone that would have seen us together would have thought we were on our honeymoon or something. There was so much closeness and affection, a real bond between us. I used to question if it was all in my head but every time I saw him that would instantly dissolve because of the way we are together, He never wanted to say goodbye every time he took me home, and would just stand there hugging me for ages and sometimes after that ended up staying over just to spend more time with me.

Anyway, I can see that my self of worth and self love has to be my priority now. It feels like I have a lot of work to do, but maybe it can be easier than I think. The distance doesn't matter to the Universe. Time and space don't matter to the Universe xD

So let's see what happens! I am going to stop trying to predict how we will see each other again and start focusing on myself and putting my happiness first. I have known for years this is what I should do, but acting on it is a different matter and there has been no better incentive to get on with it haha. There is also another mentor I had in the past called Brandon Martin that does chakra meditations which I found helpful in the past for helping me to be the person I am, but I never saw it through to getting real results. I just need to believe this is possible and stop worrying.

I say I don't want to try to predict how it will happen, but if anyone else has long distance experience I'd be curious to know, for some inspiration

So, if anyone can relate to any of this, I hope it can be helpful in some way

Last edited by Aquilina (9/17/2018 8:28 pm)

Aquilina · 8/30/2018 8:49 pm

UPDATE:

I'm going to post updates of my progress. I was doing a process just now that I randomly made up, for changing beliefs. I thought, maybe other people could benefit from doing this, so I will share it. I always perceived beliefs as being so stubborn but this seems to be working so far.

I thought of all the negative thoughts I have been having, and felt around for what assumptions or beliefs were behind them. I wrote them down in a list. I then challenged each item on the list, exposing how there was no truth in them.

I wrote out one item at a time, then each time I was going to challenge it, I drew an arrow pointing down, and wrote out the positive statements underneath, so the arrow gave me the feeling of change happening. (I always write the negative beliefs inside quotes...maybe a bit OCD xD but it reminds me it's just an idea and not truth). After I felt like I had shifted the energy, I crossed out the old belief from the original list. I worked on seven negative beliefs and I'll write below how I challenged them.

1. Belief: "It's too complicated".

Challenge: The Universe can handle it!

2. Belief: "He's not the type to commit".

Challenge:
Anyone can be in a relationship. There is no type.
He can adapt his plans for me.
Everything is always able to change in this vibrational Universe.

3. Belief: "My company isn't worthwhile".

Challenge:
I enjoy my company! So it's worthwhile to me!

Also here, I thought of a memory I had earlier this evening of an event where I was feeling really sociable and was having fun, being myself the way I usually am when there are no distractions. I felt vibrant and described some good things about myself, being great company etc.

My SP and I laughed so much! We had a great time together! Since people want more of the good things in life, my SP therefore wants to spend more time with me.

4. Belief: "He doesn't have romantic feelings towards me anymore".

Challenge:
I don't know what feelings other people are experiencing in general.
I'm not reading his mind.
I don't know what his exact feelings are in each moment.
But I do know one thing...his feelings respond to my feelings towards myself. When I love myself, he loves me. "Who you adore, adores you".
I know that I am responsible and capable of attracting loving feelings and attraction from any man that I want. I do this by loving and focusing on myself and making myself happy. Being myself. Accepting myself, fully.

5. Belief: "He's not thinking about me often".

Challenge:
I don't know what thoughts another person is thinking.
I'm not reading his mind.
He is talking to me.
He could be thinking about me.
I know that when I focus on myself, he will be thinking about me.

6. Belief: "He has plans over winter which means I won't see him".

Challenge:
Plans can change.
The Universe is handling it.
People can adapt.
Everything is always able to change in this vibrational Universe.

7. Belief: "I am of no value to anyone".

Challenge: Lies!

Okay so...no doubt there is more to that last one but nothing was coming up at the time as I was feeling better, so I left it for now. I hope this can help people. Since it's the logical mind that trips us up when it comes to believing we can do it, using logic to balance things seems to be helpful. I do feel lighter and like my perspective has changed.

Aquilina · 9/05/2018 7:43 am

Okay so...

I got to the bottom of all the self worth stuff. Understanding was a big relief and I feel like I can move forwards. I've been doing a lot of scripting. Started visualizing twice per day for at least 30 minutes each time. I don't always find the visualization easy, so looked for some advice and I'm reading through it at the moment and implementing it.

I even did some scripting that was only about my self perception. For example:

I feel so much gratitude in my heart to be living happily, as a whole Being. Since I understood this part of it and came to understand the dynamic of what was going on, I was able to free myself. Every time that negative feeling came up, I took some deep breaths, focused, and reminded myself of the truth of who I Am. Within two weeks I was feeling so much better, happier than I had ever felt it my life.

My chakras feel so much better as well, especially my sacral and heart chakras. The energy of Source is flowing now, freely, and I feel such joy for no reason in particular. There doesn't even need to be a reason now, it feels unconditional. I have been feeling so secure in myself, always knowing my greatness, without question. Good things are coming to me. I feel opportunity around every corner.

I am proud of myself for reminding myself of the truth every time the negative feelings came up. I used the power of repetition and consistency. I started to feel a lot more sure of myself and who I am, and it keeps getting better and better. I am confident, my body language has changed, my breathing is steady, and my Mum has told me she can hear in my voice that something is different.

I know my worth. I am a Goddess. I feel much more connected to my heart and it's been getting so easy and natural to visualize the energy powerfully during my heart charkra meditations. I am focused and at peace. I am looking after myself, my nutrition has improved, I dress well and I'm having fun socially, lots of fun! I feel my true self shining through!

***************************************************************************************************************************

So I plan to be at that point in a couple of weeks. I started doing the mirror technique which was really powerful and felt so much easier to access my subconscious mind that way.

I'm prioritising the self-love above all else. Seeing myself the way I want to be seen, because it's who I really am. Seems that there is no point in making so much effort to get the SP if that's not in place. I'll carry on doing my visualizations and scripting but this is more important and primarily I'm doing it for me and my ability to live my life. They say attracting someone is way more about us than it is about them, and I believe it, but don't feel it, and I know that when the self love is in a place of KNOWING then I'll just know that I have that power to draw someone to me. I really want to believe it on every level!

Last edited by Aquilina (9/05/2018 7:52 am)

shettychinky · 9/10/2018 2:34 am

this is so beautiful! you are very strong and inspiring! pls keep sharing your journey

Aquilina · 9/10/2018 6:52 am

Thank you, I will actually I wish I could change the title of the thread because it's not living in the end result haha.

Last edited by Aquilina (9/10/2018 6:53 am)

Cynthia · 9/10/2018 11:52 am

Aquilina wrote:
Thank you, I will actually I wish I could change the title of the thread because it's not living in the end result haha.

I'm glad you see that. Very few on this forum seem to.

I think you can change the title, can't you? I've never tried it, but you can with private messages by deleting it and putting another in its place.

Stacey · 9/10/2018 12:27 pm

You can change the name of the thread, there's an edit option.

Aquilina · 9/10/2018 5:12 pm

Really, where is the edit button? I've been looking around for it.

Aquilina · 9/10/2018 7:57 pm

Also, I have decided the best way to view this is, that I am stopping my own resistance, so that what would have happened naturally had it not been for the resistance, can happen, and that is for the relationship to go further.

As Neville would say, to revise it...what would have happened if it had happened as it ought to have happened? Well, let's script that now...

He has called a couple of times a week. We usually speak for around 30-40 minutes. He told me all about what he was getting up to on his travels and we are so close it's as if he never left. I enjoy hearing his voice and listening to his accent (when we're not having a call he often sends voice clips), and he sings to me sometimes he's so cute. He's arranging to see me again soon, once he's found an apartment and is back in a normal routine again I'm so grateful the Universe delivered my ideal man to me and I, his ideal woman, to him. The adventure continues...

Aquilina · 9/15/2018 8:12 am

Okay...

I have been very distracted and gone off course looking at some concepts about the Universe that were driving me a bit mad, and it really brought my mood down, and now I'm feeling negative. I decided I will post updates either every day or a couple of times a week. It will keep me motivated. I can't give up on this, I know me and this man are perfect for each other, I am just getting in my own way and I cannot and will not go through life wondering what could have been.

I have seen how my energy is picked up on by others in previous situations. Both times I was doing chakra meditations because it helped me transform all the bs I was feeling about myself. I did it for a month and he got back in contact with me except I was young and naive and realised later he was far from what I wanted and deserve. The second time with a different guy, I had started doing these meditations, and it was helping me get to the point where all of my attention was on me and not him, then he started trying to get my attention (this was during a difficult patch where he thought he was interested in someone else). So he had started to try to get my attention more and then told me he wanted me and not her. We later mutually felt that we weren't interested in a relationship, we didn't really have those sorts of feelings for each other, it was just an idea we both had, and we are friends instead. Same as the first time, I didn't stick it out with the meditations to a point where I had truly transformed. But in this process I have learnt a lot of lessons.

This time must be different because I know I want to be with this person 100%. There was so much love between us when he was here. So much. He is everything I could want in a man. I'm probably going to get some extra help from Veronica, because I keep feeling demotivated and like I don't have enough specific things to do to make me feel the way I want to feel.

I had a good visualization yesterday. I didn't mean to do it, I was just lying on my bed telling myself I'll get up and have a shower in a minute, but I was feeling so relaxed I just stayed there, and ended up visualizing better than usual. I suppose I have cancelled it out since with my negativity. I can't just live in the end result while I feel not myself.

He went quiet again, and it triggered these feelings of not being good enough and I know it's not true and I just want to find ways to stop it when it comes up and remember who I am. Because if I am out in public or working or doing something, I can't just drop everything and meditate until it goes away, so what can I do there and then to feel better and remember? I know these meditations will help me and eventually stop these feelings arising in the first place, but what can I do in the moment it comes up, to stop it from taking hold me of?

Reading back through some notes from before, it reminded me. Nothing bad that's happened in my life is a reflection of who I truly am. I didn't deserve any of it. I am a being of divine light. I am free of the past. I don't have to force myself to be/become the person I want to be, because I already am it and always have been. I just have to let go of all things that are blocking me from experiencing it.

Last edited by Aquilina (9/15/2018 8:21 am)

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» Love Conquers Time & Space!

8/29/2018 11:50 am #1

Love Conquers Time & Space!

8/30/2018 8:49 pm #2

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

9/05/2018 7:43 am #3

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

9/10/2018 2:34 am #4

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

9/10/2018 6:52 am #5

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

9/10/2018 11:52 am #6

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

Aquilina wrote:

9/10/2018 12:27 pm #7

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

9/10/2018 5:12 pm #8

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

9/10/2018 7:57 pm #9

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

9/15/2018 8:12 am #10

Re: Love Conquers Time & Space!

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