Hi everyone, I’m in need of some advice on what to do or what to focus on.

A bit of a backstory (I know I know)- is that me and my SP were together for 4 years. He’s from England and I’m from Canada. I moved to England to be with him for a year, then we went backpacking together and then we moved to Canada together.

Anyways, so he broke up with me in December. He said he still wants me in his life, he doesn’t want to be with anybody else and that there’s always a chance for us to work in the future. He’s been going through a lot  for the past year (mental health wise), so this is why he has to put an end to it (For now) and instead focus on himself.

He still texts me every week and we hangout every 3ish weeks. He’s always the one to ask me to hangout. We still love each other very much and have never been mean to each other- not even through the break up. It’s just that he needs to focus on himself right now and becoming happy again and I realized that I need to do that as well.

So to get to the point- of course I want him back but I want myself back first. I work really hard on getting happy by myself and I’ll be doing really well. Then he’ll ask me to hangout, we do and then for the few days afterward I’m a wreck again because I miss him! It really puts a toll on me.

I’m at the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. Of course I want to see him when he asks to hangout, but afterwards I’m such a mess and it takes a lot of energy to pull myself out of it again.

What do you think I should do? Keep seeing him and just continue to work on myself?

Also, I should add that in September he’s going back to England for a bit and then traveling New Zealand and  I’m going backpacking through India. He has to come back to Canada either way afterward to continue his permanent residency status. We also met traveling, kept in contact for 2 years and then flew to see each other before being in a serious relationship, so I know that anything is possible for us.

Part of me wants to tell him that I need space for now because it’s hard for me to see him and spend time with him. The other part of me wants to see him as much as I can before we both go traveling. What do you think?

(Also please no rude comments or speculation about it! It’s hard for people in my life to understand my SP’s side but I do- we understand each other very well. I know for a fact that he hasn’t been or seen anyone else and that he’s not interested in that).

Thanks.