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8/11/2017 12:52 am  #1


i feel conflicted and so confused and so everything you can think of,

Hey guys, So this is one of those "ex" stories, and I know many people are extremely annoyed of those posts and I'd like to apologize in advance for that. This is going to be long. So my ex and I go all the way back to 2011, and we were together for about 2.5 years. The reason we broke up was because my parents wouldn't have accepted, we come from two different cultures. so for me to consider being with him was a huge deal, it was risky but nonetheless it was fun, this was something I was going to fight for, finally break the oppressive chain I grew up in and marry whoever the hell I want yay!

Well obviously that didn't happen, and you can imagine the heartache I went through, I wanted that second chance, I knew we were compatible, we loved each other very much..atleast at some point he did, we had things planned out, to where we would live to how many kids we would have ( we were both in our early-mid twenties) and when we would get married, I thought to myself well this isn't the end, this shouldn't be the end ( I was not aware of loa at the time).But a year (2014) later he started seeing someone else, I dreamt about it and that's how I found out, as you can imagine, even though I thought I was a bit over him, it all came back, it was like a second break up. It. Was. Bad. That's when I discovered the LOA, ohhh the hope and power it brought back, or it gave me, it was AMAZING. Once I discovered the loa, That chick he had at the time did not phase me at all, I was like he's mine, we are going to finish the adventure we promised each other and I am willing to put the work and see how this will go!I practiced different methods of loa, affirmations did not work well for me becuase I felt like I was forcing it I didn't really feel anything, but I found that meditation and visualization worked for me, but I mean of course I had my doubts and bad days which was ok, it's all part of the journey.


Well then months later (2015), I found out he got engaged to the same girl, talk about a third break up haha. It hit me like a brick becuase I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING, it was 4 months after they started dating,I mean come on,I just didn't expect it.I tackled that in a couple of months, and what I mean I got to the point where she bing the picture didn't bother me, it was still about me and him and that's what it should be. I have to be honest, the letting go part was so extremely hard for me to do, he was just something I thought about and got used to thinking about that it was difficult to let him go. So I spoke to LOA teachers, the said it was important to let go, but it'll happen on my own timing.so I trusted that and accepted it, I knew and trusted that it's ok if I wanted him so bad, at some point I'll give it up and it will all just work out on its own and I trusted that very much. I did talk with the universe, and I specially asked for a sign of our reconciliation, a white butterfly. And let me tell you, those butterflies filled my nieghborhood, I kid you not but i saw like 3 flying in each lawn of my neighbors,they did so throughout the years during summer I saw them a lot, it gave me like a nice reminder that I called it "the symbol of our love"


I had very minimal communication with him in 2014, 2015, very very minimal but 2016 I had no communication, it was a year of cleansing, I had no idea what was going on in his life but I was pretty much working on mine, I did think about him, like a lot, but i released the resistance by telling myself that it will happen in its own timing, I will let him go at some point, becuase the more I told myself that i needed to do it the more anxious I got and the it just messed with my energy so of course I softened the resistance instead.


Year 2017, started with leftover energy of the year before but I was better, I began to think that I deserved better and I slowly began to let him go, and he contacted me! After years of not speaking he contacted me it was great, it went well, we flirted like a lot, I wondered, but did not ask if he still with that girl but becuase of how he talked to me and how well it was going, that chick was really out of the pic! I had no doubt in my mind. For the past three months we talked we flirted, it was like what it was again.But resistance creeped in and I thought how come things aren't going as fast as I would like them too?? So I was inspired to speak to a psychic, atleast read my current energy about our relationship, and they delivered the news that he's nothing more the a life lesson and that they don't see marriage or anything playing out, I mean talk about being so damn close to something and yet it's nothing. Of course that frustrated me but I was used to this and I knew how to soften the resistance. I did not take what they said to heart as psychics read current energies and that could be changed so that gave me the quo that I still got a lot of resistance to clean up around him, I was willing to work on really setting free becuase I was already exhausted. I put a lot of work into this in for years I was ready to let it go.

And so I did, I accepted we were no longer a thing and take a chance that things might not go as planned, I began to talk to other guys, it became really freeing.But then yesterday I found out he actually got married to that same girl! And that was 3 months ago, I was so confused becuase we began chatting in June and like I mentioned it felt she wasn't even in the picture anymore, but I was wrong.Now I'm just like ummmmm wtfff happened?? I invested so much of my time to have it go like this? It's not even about having him anymore, it's more about wtf just happened? I had dreams for us we had them together to have it end like this.... I mean I'm hurt yet again of course after I realized how much I was committed and trusted that he would be back, plus I don't want him now becuase like he's married, he's a very nice man and I am sure she's happy with him, but seriously I'm confused like wtf universe, I trusted you, and now I can't even think about having him becuase hey well hey look what just happened.Over the coarse of years, I was committed for it to work out, but even though now Im setting him free, it still sucks, I almost feel like I am an exception to the rule or whatever. I mean I was so positive that it would work out that now I am questioning everything, like Im i Really going to get my dream guy?? Like I'm I ever going to get what I actually want becuase the loa clearly states ask and it is given, I asked for him to come back and it just got worse. I think there are things you can't have, I mean it doesn't make them any less possible, but can you really have exactly what you want?? I could have had him in my arms,now I can't look back.Thank you for those that made it to the end.

Last edited by buttonsandme (8/11/2017 12:54 am)

 

8/11/2017 5:45 am  #2


Re: i feel conflicted and so confused and so everything you can think of,

I read the whole thing but I'm not entirely sure why it happened the way it did.

I think maybe there are other factors involved you're not seeing.

If we can influence each other's realities, perhaps your parents vibrated very negatively torwards your guy and pushed him away from you.

It's interesting that you flirted and all that, that raises some flags right there, it probably means he's not entirely happy where he's at.

I definitely wouldn't have the will power to keep using LoA techniques for more than a year, I'd just move on entirely. Are you sure you weren't in a needy vibration more often than in a self love one?

You might be able to answer some of your own questions if you stop and evaluate how you really felt and what thoughts you had up to this point, like I said though I'm not too sure why it happened this way. There's also a chance the Universe has something better waiting for you.
I hope someone else can provide more insight.

 

8/11/2017 11:10 am  #3


Re: i feel conflicted and so confused and so everything you can think of,

If my vibrations were clear then I wouldn't have felt this bad about the whole thing....even though i said I released resistance or "let it go" and at that period, he did talk to me,so I released enough resistance for us to speak again but not bring us together. The psychics I met with confirmed my worst fears, psychics read my current energy timeline, and they did say I will meet someone better, and after some soul searching, that was exactly what I was afraid of. I'm not much resistant towards meeting another person, even better then him, that's not the point, imagine there are a lot of better things out there like a better car or a better house or a better relationship, but if one is happy where they're at with what they got then who cares?

Anyway, I'm exhausted, he did message me yesterday but I chose not to answer, I feel like I am so resistant towards the specifics that I can't deal with the if he's still in the picture,of course I still want to be with him, the momentum there is so strong, but I have not learned to be at peace with what is, in fact I've never been happy with where he was or where I am during the whole process.

Upon recieving the news,i had to face the demons I have been hiding from and just happy stickerfacing throughout the years

Thank you for reading the whole thing.

     Thread Starter
 

8/16/2017 11:14 am  #4


Re: i feel conflicted and so confused and so everything you can think of,

I'm not sure why it happened like it did but all you can do is learn from it I guess. Don't let yourself get into another situation when you end up feeling like you wasted your energy for years and years.

And if he's texting you while married he might not be the nicest guy. If you're in a good vibe you'll attract someone right for you and it'll be easy, it'll fall into place without any of these problems.

 

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