Yes let me know how it goes, keep visualising it going really really well I am having doubts but I know its all me haha xx

Meg2222 wrote:

Struggling a bit this week, haven't heard anything from him and feeling a bit doubtful. Trying to hold onto my faith and focus on living from the end. Can't seem to get out of this low mood at the moment. Hoping I'll pick myself up soon! Any advice would be great xx

I've been in that place for the past couple of weeks, but starting to lift myself up out of it.  It was really hard for me to wrap my brain around having such a lovely time with him when we reconnected 3 weeks ago, and all the "I've missed you so much", "it's so good to see you", "I haven't gone 20 minutes without thinking about you in the past several months", "Yay!  I'm so happy" (when my head was on in chest in bed), "yay!  I kissed you!", "you feel like home to me", "I enjoy doing this with you more than anyone else in the world" etc... to "we can't see each other again because I fear we'll just repeat history"...to complete and total silence.  And this, after months of visualizing and pw-ing and just generally feeling good.

So a couple of days ago I decided I just really need to let go and move on.  Today, I woke up feeling better, finally, but now I find myself vacillating between getting him out of my head completely and moving on with other men, or if I should go back to the visualizing and what-not.  I feel more detached right now than I have in a long time, which is a good thing, but I'm not sure how much that will change if I allow myself to think about him.

Anyway, you are asking for advice, and it's going to be different for everyone, but so far, what has worked for me is deciding to throw in the towel.  You don't have to do that, but I don't think it does any good to try to focus on your pw, or living from the end, until you start feeling better.  It's okay to let go of it for a bit; it won't set you back.  If anything, it will give you forward momentum.  Try to find something else to focus on for a little while.  Do something that makes you feel good about you.  When it gets really difficult for me, I say affirmations aloud until my anxiety subsides.  I can do that, since I'm alone so much of the time!  Sometimes I'll even do a "rain dance", where I kind of jump up and down or do a ridiculous little dance while I'm belting out made-up lyrics of my wish come true.

Sanshi wrote:

Meg2222 wrote:

Struggling a bit this week, haven't heard anything from him and feeling a bit doubtful. Trying to hold onto my faith and focus on living from the end. Can't seem to get out of this low mood at the moment. Hoping I'll pick myself up soon! Any advice would be great xx

How you feel is an immediate response to where your focus is/what you think about. When you feel low, you are focused on something that isn't the truth of your higher part and you feel it by experiencing negative emotions. So that is a good thing, because it shows you that you go in a direction you don't want to go. Abraham talk about the two ends of the stick, maybe you heard them. It's about that you can focus on a subject or the lack of it. You can focus on the happy relationship and feel bad, because where your focus truly is, is the absence of that happy relationship (isn't it great that the negative emotion tells you where your focus REALLY is?). Or you can focus on the presence of the happy relationship and it feels amazing. Everything that feels less than amazing introduces resistance to the equation and doesn't lead you to where you want to be. So when you feel bad, you have to find other thoughts and if you can't find better feeling thoughs about the subject you are working on, go off the subject and find something to feel good/better about, regardless of what it is. Isn't all of what we do not just to feel better anyway? Does it matter, if you feel better because the guy is back or because of any other reason?

Thats so true sanshi, I'd rather feel better just because I want to feel happy, dispite him being in my life or not. Life is getting me down to be honest not just him. So i need to focus my thoughts on everything that is going well and that will bring my vibration up. All I am getting from him at the moment is sexual though, just sexting and nothing else. I am trying SO hard not to focus on it but it keeps popping up. I am affirming to myself that I am enough, I am worthy, I am doing meditations, I don't know what else to do. I feel like he is never going to want to commit to me and I am really losing faith here...I have no idea how to shift anymore. He has now said he is deleting my number because it is too tempting for him to sext, and said he cannot be friends with me because its too much. I dont know how else too shift into the desire I want when reality is just slapping me in the face all the time. Sorry to moan I am just stumped.  
 

Sanshi wrote:

Meg2222 wrote:

Thats so true sanshi, I'd rather feel better just because I want to feel happy, dispite him being in my life or not. Life is getting me down to be honest not just him. So i need to focus my thoughts on everything that is going well and that will bring my vibration up. All I am getting from him at the moment is sexual though, just sexting and nothing else. I am trying SO hard not to focus on it but it keeps popping up. I am affirming to myself that I am enough, I am worthy, I am doing meditations, I don't know what else to do. I feel like he is never going to want to commit to me and I am really losing faith here...I have no idea how to shift anymore. He has now said he is deleting my number because it is too tempting for him to sext, and said he cannot be friends with me because its too much. I dont know how else too shift into the desire I want when reality is just slapping me in the face all the time. Sorry to moan I am just stumped.  
 

I have my Abraham phase right now, so another thing they tell us: You know the story about the car that is rolling downhill? When it is slow and hasn't much momentum, you can stop it with your body and you won't get hurt. But when it is rolling downhill with much momentum, you better don't stand in its way. Right now, you have a lot of negative momentum going on around him. When you try to think a positive thought, it doesn't make a difference, because the momentum in the other direction is so strong. You can't possibly stop that car right now and that's okay. You don't have to jump in its way. You can just go and eat ice cream or watch cute puppy clips. Really, you have to go off the subject. I know that this isn't so easy, because you think that you have to work on it and what if that going off the subject is the reason that it doesn't work, what if it does take even longer because of that? But I can tell you (another Abe quote) that you can't get there from there. You can't win by fighting against the struggle and your negative emotions. The thoughts about him will come back, it's logical, because you gained momentum. But the moment it pops up and it feels bad, you have the choice to think a different thought. It's easy to think that bad feeling thoughts about him, because of the momentum, but it's uncomfortable. Thinking new thoughts needs some effort and a clear decision in the beginning, but when you have done it for a while, it will gain momentum, too and it will become easier to think that thoughts. Right now, I would put my main focus on feeling better.

Thank you Sanshi, that made so much sense with the car example. I texted him as I needed to get some things off my chest and now I feel a lot better. Now I am going to focus on feeling better and getting my head straight without him distracting me anymore. I need to change the way I think about him anyway so not hearing from him will be a really positive thing. Thank you again for your input it really has made me feel better. xxx