Hey there. Welcome to the forum.  It is regretted that you're feeling so bad but I do think that you've stumbled across a great group of people that can help you. 

I'll start out by saying that this is a tough world that we live in with some mean people in it.   You are the only person that is always with you, so you have to be kind to yourself.  You have to be your biggest cheerleader. 

If you don't have one,  I think you should get a journal, notebook or sheets of paper. Take some time to really think and write down everything that you are good at and everything that is good about you. Do not think that anything is too small or unimportant.  Read your list often and affirm it to yourself. 

Take time to pamper yourself.  You've probably been unkind to yourself, so do something to take care of yourself.  Take a warm bath, file your nails, treat your hair etc.

There are things that make you happy, do those things a lot.   

If you have a negative thought,  that's fine.  Reprogram it and change it to something positive.   Just take things one step at a time.   I'm always here to chat if you need to.
 

Most of us have been there. So, chin up. You can get out of this runt.