HayleyDaly1973 wrote:

When my relationship ended I read up about No Contact and committed myself to 31 days. That's over today.

Because of the circumstances complete No Contact wasn't possible - we were working on a play together - and I was my usual fabulous self around him when I saw him at rehearsals several times each week and didn't contact him when we were apart. There were exceptions to this - twice he contacted me and I played it cool and responded after a period of a couple of hours and was friendly but kept it brief and also a couple of play related messages each way. People who knew we had separated regularly asked if we had got back together because of the relationship we have. I last saw him on Monday (our play finished on Sunday but I went to see something he was involved with on Monday evening) and I now don't HAVE to see him ever again if I choose not to. However, he is directing a play and auditions are next week and for months I have been preparing for this. I KNOW we will be back together - I have manifested in the past and I am sure I manifested him in the first place - however, I am SO tempted to contact him today because this is was the day I was working towards for the last month!!!

HELP!!!

Hi HayleyDaly1973, I would say only contact if your intuition is telling you to (ie. you feel its a little nudge from the universe).. You set yourself a commitment of 31 days and so its understandable that you now wish to make contact but its important to realise whether you want to do so because its coming from a place of inspired action or whether its you acting on your emotions. When its inspired action, it generally feels good and you just KNOW that you need to make contact at this moment in time and you aren't attached to the outcome at all... But if its coming from your emotions then you may feel uncertain about whether its the right thing to do and you may feel sad or upset if you don't get the outcome you want. Since you're asking about it, I would say this isn't coming from a place of inspired action so maybe hold off on it a bit? The right time will come and you will just know it. Acting too soon will hinder your journey. Try to be patient for a little longer and trust the universe - it always has your back 
 

Creeeeestal wrote:

I think I just need to deactivate my social media. I am driving myself crazy. I keep continuing to see comments from my ex on other girls photos:
"you're so beautiful darlin." " gorgeous as always." "wow darlin you're looking beautiful." It's not the same girl. It's different girls. his friends. It feels more and more based on this that he's completely forgotten about me. 
I received advice from Veronica that's helped, imagine him making those comments on my photos. It's just getting to be really hard, and when I get to this point emotionally I just want to contact him. I feel like texting him asking him why he doesn't think I'm beautiful anymore. Why was it so easy for him to forget about me. How is he just ok and how is he so happy that i'm gone when I was the love of his life, and I was the only one that mattered to him? Nothing adds up and I feel delusional. I'm not contacting him. I'm going to keep going. but I'll feel stupid after investing all of this money for life coaches, books, essential oils, everything. Hearing success stories and seeing people get back together with their exes, if I can't succeed with this. 

Its understandable why seeing those things will hurt you and make you feel sad... I would definitely advise you not looking at his social media - if it means deactivating yours for a while until you are in a better mind frame then do that for yourself as this is not helping you or your journey to reconciliation. The more you look at the photos and feel these negative feelings, the more you are pushing him away from coming back to you. So definitely try to stop looking at his page firstly. Secondly, contacting him and asking him that will only make you feel worse. It may give you temporary satisfaction but eventually that will wear off and you may feel regretful for exposing your vulnerability like that. Its painful but now you just have to ride through the emotions you're feeling and try get to a feeling good place. Distract yourself and take your mind off him for a little while, watch a feel good show or a comedy or anything to just get you feeling a bit better. Social media only portrays what the person wants you to see about their life... What goes on inside or behind close doors could be something completely different. Rewrite your story - you create your own future so you get to make the conclusions : "He writes those comments because he feels sad for being so lonely and wants to project a different view of him to others". "He writes those comments because he wants me to see them and think he is moving on but deep down he is really sad and missing me." It doesn't matter what the current circumstances are - its not set in stone and anything can change or happen at any time. Don't get attached to what your physical reality looks like right now, instead focus on what you would like for it to be .. Let him say and do whatever he wants now, you know in the future he will be right back in your arms so what does it even matter ? You are strong enough to get through this and its normal to lose balance sometimes, all you gotta do is focus on you and what you want - forget the bad stuff. Try to work on your resistance and doubts, you need to have unwavering faith that you two will be together so right now you don't feel that and that's why you'll see that reflected in your physical reality. Sending you lots of love and hugs - you can do this! xox

PowerOfLove wrote:

Creeeeestal wrote:

I think I just need to deactivate my social media. I am driving myself crazy. I keep continuing to see comments from my ex on other girls photos:
"you're so beautiful darlin." " gorgeous as always." "wow darlin you're looking beautiful." It's not the same girl. It's different girls. his friends. It feels more and more based on this that he's completely forgotten about me. 
I received advice from Veronica that's helped, imagine him making those comments on my photos. It's just getting to be really hard, and when I get to this point emotionally I just want to contact him. I feel like texting him asking him why he doesn't think I'm beautiful anymore. Why was it so easy for him to forget about me. How is he just ok and how is he so happy that i'm gone when I was the love of his life, and I was the only one that mattered to him? Nothing adds up and I feel delusional. I'm not contacting him. I'm going to keep going. but I'll feel stupid after investing all of this money for life coaches, books, essential oils, everything. Hearing success stories and seeing people get back together with their exes, if I can't succeed with this. 

Its understandable why seeing those things will hurt you and make you feel sad... I would definitely advise you not looking at his social media - if it means deactivating yours for a while until you are in a better mind frame then do that for yourself as this is not helping you or your journey to reconciliation. The more you look at the photos and feel these negative feelings, the more you are pushing him away from coming back to you. So definitely try to stop looking at his page firstly. Secondly, contacting him and asking him that will only make you feel worse. It may give you temporary satisfaction but eventually that will wear off and you may feel regretful for exposing your vulnerability like that. Its painful but now you just have to ride through the emotions you're feeling and try get to a feeling good place. Distract yourself and take your mind off him for a little while, watch a feel good show or a comedy or anything to just get you feeling a bit better. Social media only portrays what the person wants you to see about their life... What goes on inside or behind close doors could be something completely different. Rewrite your story - you create your own future so you get to make the conclusions : "He writes those comments because he feels sad for being so lonely and wants to project a different view of him to others". "He writes those comments because he wants me to see them and think he is moving on but deep down he is really sad and missing me." It doesn't matter what the current circumstances are - its not set in stone and anything can change or happen at any time. Don't get attached to what your physical reality looks like right now, instead focus on what you would like for it to be .. Let him say and do whatever he wants now, you know in the future he will be right back in your arms so what does it even matter ? You are strong enough to get through this and its normal to lose balance sometimes, all you gotta do is focus on you and what you want - forget the bad stuff. Try to work on your resistance and doubts, you need to have unwavering faith that you two will be together so right now you don't feel that and that's why you'll see that reflected in your physical reality. Sending you lots of love and hugs - you can do this! xox

Wow, this is amazing, thank you so much! This is really helpful and I do feel a little better. I'm going to start using those affirmations as well as they make sense and will help raise that vibration. Plus based on facts, he never said that he wanted nothing to do with me. I just have to keep going. 

swtbabygrl wrote:

I'm having such a difficult time to not send him a text message to my love. I know I just spoke to him yesterday.. maybe i made a mistake of agreeing to be friends so that i can finally "accept" the break up to him but maybe it's backfiring on me.. errr i really want to know what he's doing right now, and where he is at. I was trying to listen to veronica's videos today and hypnosis videos but then i keep worrying and wanting to text him. but if he wanted to talk to me he would text me..? he was the last to text but then he gave me a call last night.. not sure if that makes a difference but i need to try to raise my vibration and think more positive today.. it's been rough.

I'm by far no expert (yet lol) but I'd say that if you are okay with being just friends with him and that's what makes you feel good, then go for it. If that doesn't feel good for you and you know you want more, there will be a disconnect. Why is it that you want to talk to him? What do you hope to gain and what will you gain? You must ask yourself these questions. You'll get more clarity by doing so.

swtbabygrl wrote:

angeldust4 wrote:

swtbabygrl wrote:

I'm having such a difficult time to not send him a text message to my love. I know I just spoke to him yesterday.. maybe i made a mistake of agreeing to be friends so that i can finally "accept" the break up to him but maybe it's backfiring on me.. errr i really want to know what he's doing right now, and where he is at. I was trying to listen to veronica's videos today and hypnosis videos but then i keep worrying and wanting to text him. but if he wanted to talk to me he would text me..? he was the last to text but then he gave me a call last night.. not sure if that makes a difference but i need to try to raise my vibration and think more positive today.. it's been rough.

I'm by far no expert (yet lol) but I'd say that if you are okay with being just friends with him and that's what makes you feel good, then go for it. If that doesn't feel good for you and you know you want more, there will be a disconnect. Why is it that you want to talk to him? What do you hope to gain and what will you gain? You must ask yourself these questions. You'll get more clarity by doing so.

ok freaky like after 10 min of posting he texted me, he texted me a link and then liked my fb post. we had a mini convo it was short. i mean I'm conflicted to be honest because if i am his friend there is a possibility that i could work my way up to build a foundation to maybe earn his trust again but then again i might end up being left in the friend zone. so not sure.. i replied to his text kinda like a LC, i feel that maybe if he wants to talk he reaches out but when he doesn't i should just wait for him to contact me? when he writes one word answers or replies that don't need answers thats when i usually don't text back like if he says "yeah" or any reply that does not need a response -__- i tried to talk to him through my mind today for him to text me, took him all day but i feel like it's progress, better than nothing like he's reaching out to me.. 

You must be clear about what you want. Being conflicted is a negative emotion to have but as you go through this process you will have more clarity. It almost sounds as if you are waiting on him to text you, and if he doesn't text back or if he texts one word responses you feel disappointed. You could maybe benefit from no contact if you feel that it will make YOU feel better.