when my guy first started contacting me .. I was exstatic... the first several visits were great .. THEN I started wanting more I told him I wanted him .. needed him  spilled all my feelings .. welp u guessed it he disappeared .. for 8 months.... in the mean time .I BECAME MORE FOCUSED AND CONCENTRATED ON ME AND MY BUSINESS IT TRIPLED IN JUST A COUPLE MONTHS TIME ..I lost 35 lbs  life IS good .. anddddd . then he CAME BACK AGAIN .. this time I am in control of my emotions I am letting him do all the work he makes all the contact and hes the one expressing his feeling a little at a time .. I let him know im happy to see him but I do  not overwhelm him .. im in a good place I make decisions abt MY life I cannot put my life on hold til he is completely mine again .. if I feel inspired to text him I do it but its becoming less and less.. I am letting him come .. hes noticing the change in me .. he knows I don't NEED him anymore ..that does not mean I don't treat him well when im with him .. I just had to get out of my own way .. enjoy life .. never make one person your everything or reason forliving .. buying a house etc ... live for you and only for u then she will come and STAY!

Cherished wrote:

Ok. First, you're taking too much action. And it's fear-based action. You sent the rose, you called and now you're trying to buy a house, and using that as your excuse to try and reach out to her. Action doesn't work, my friend. NO action works much better! Your journey needs to be vibrational. Entirely vibrational.

You've already proven this works. But instead of confidently standing in your power and in love, you suddenly went rogue! You dropped into fear. That's ok, we all do it, but when you begin to fear, it's NOT REAL. It's an illusion. And you don't need to create that. When you fear, it's time to STOP auctioning. It's time to remember who you are, and take some time to regain your strength.

You have slipped into "victim" nentality, which completely flies in the face of LOA. She's not treating you badly, YOU are confusing HER. Remember, you are literally writing the script here. So you started beautifully and you got contact! Then you tried to rush and thought that you knew better than infinite intelligence. And you feared.. so you sent the rose. And then you felt your power slip, so you actioned even more.. from a place of lack. And now the house drama. Forget the house for now. Your perfect house awaits you when you return to love. As does your girl. It's just that you keep writing contradictory stories. She has no option but to follow your lead. You need to focus on YOU. And trust that things are working out in a way that will astonish you. Back to love, my friend.. it's the only way.

Thank you so much for this.

I started listening to the audio book "The Key" by Joe Vitale. He has a chapter about taking action, and says that we need to be careful about taking actions based on fear or based on love. But, almost contradictory, he says that if we feel weird about taking an action, he says we should do it.

In my situation, I got a raise, bonus, and found that amazing house all at once.. and the house is miles away from my ex. Do you think that means I need to take action and just get the house?

Or did I simply find that house because I was limiting my search to areas near her out of fear?

Though I love the house, I want to make sure it is the right decision.. out of love.. and not the wrong one.. out of fear. And, really, deep down, I want her to pick out the house with me (which is why I reached out to her). I wanted her to approve.

Given all of this, I think the best "action" to take is NOT getting the house. Agree? When she asks me about it soon (because she will), I can tell her it wasn't perfect and that I'm waiting to make sure I get the right house.

By the way, The Key is a really good book so far because I feel like the only thing blocking my ex from being with me is ME.. that's it. You are so right. I'm creating all of this. I'm creating how she's "treating me".. how she's "reacting." It's all me. I'm in charge!!!!!!

Cherished wrote:

It's true, it's entirely your creation. And you can see exactly how you've ended up here. It's no biggie, get back in track. I'm going to say no, I wouldn't be getting the house. It smacks of you wanting to be close to her, and trying to control the outcome. You HAVE to let it go. Seriously. The universe will do it way better than you can possibly imagine. If you knew your worth, you wouldn't be acting as though this is the only house in the history of houses up for sale. There are a BILLION houses available to you. The situation is highlighting your fear and inability to trust the process. Drop the house altogether. Inspired action doesn't feel WEIRD, it feels like wild horses couldn't pull you from doing it. You are not there. You are fearing and attempting to control your outcomes.

As I said. It's not time to move. It's time to stand very still I your own power. Find your balance again, and forge ahead for YOURSELF. You.

Yep. Not getting the house. Cherished.. thank you for getting me back on track. I need to just trust the process and trust that my ex is mine, no matter what. I've taken lots of action (proposing, buying her a rose on Valentine's Day, telling her she can have the exact life she wants). It's time for her to start taking action. It's time for her to start chasing me and for her to start showing me her worth.

Thank you so much!!!! I'm going to trust the Universe now and stop trying to control the outcome.

peppo wrote:

ForgetYourEvil wrote:

I have major major mood swings. I go from crying, to happy, to upset, to elated.. in a period of seconds..

Like, right now, I just tore up a photo of that house and I'm thinking, "I'll save more... screw it.."

But, I really liked the house.. so I'm like.. "why did I do that?"

But the house is close to my ex.. and she's not with me right now... so I'm like, "That was the right move."

But then I'm like, "Yeah.. but she'd want to pick out the house with you.. when the time is right.. so that was smart.. just stay put and do this right.. no major decisions right now."

I think the best approach is to just leave this be... let the house go... and let my ex go... and just focus on me and what makes me feel good.

Yeah,this waiting hoping for ur ex to see the daylight is VERY frustrating ..
Everything seems so great for us ..
Why can't they see / feel it ???

I'm there at this very moment ...like a good few of us i guess

But as people have said.....
You've got to try to focus on the future....DON'T look back !
Back is pain
Forwards is joy

Easier said than done ..but if you're doing great....
Isn't she going to want to be part of that....
Rather than finding someone that has been waiting for her !

Move forwards...live well...ENJOY life ...

She'll find you ....dont worry !!

(I think i've actually written this for myself just as much as i've written it for you !!)
 

I needed this too