Offline
Hi, I'm new here. First of all I would like to apologize in advance for any possible misunderstanding since English is not my native language. I would also like to introduce myself by saying that even though I had never writen here before, I've been reading the forum for a while and I've learned about the LOA watching videos from Veronica and a few others in youtube ever since my love and I split up.
I won't go into details, but we were together for almost three years and broke up four months ago. I would have never believed in the law of attraction at all if I hadn't realized I had somehow manifested my own breakup.
Even though I was unsure about it, I've tried to manifest my bf back and also tried to manifest a bunch of other things too, because I feel that I probably need to achieve those other things first if I want my relationship to work out this time (I need a new job for instance, my current job is depressing me a lot).
As I was having doubts about the process and I was feeling very bad oftentimes for not getting any results, I thought maybe I needed to prove myself that I was able to get what I wanted to finally overcome my current reality and to be able to live in the future.
So I tested myself manifesting a leather jacket. I had seen one in a store last month that was very cute but also quite expensive. The shop assistant had told me that it was the only one left, and it was my size. If I had not been trying to prove anything to myself I would have bought it right then. Even though it was expensive and I didn't really need it, it was very nice and I could afford it. I didn't want to leave it in the store to be bought by somebody else... But I didn't buy it. It became my way to test LOA instead.
It is sales season in my country and I wanted to be able to wait so that I could buy it for less money. It was the very last one an this is a very popular store so it was an unlikely outcome, but I focused on it with all my heart. So my manifesting journey began and I witnessed the price of the jacket (originally priced 199) go from 160 to 120, then to 99 and finally, yesterday, to 79 (a 60% discount). I was over the moon!! Every single time I saw a new price tag on it, it gave me the strength I needed to keep on manifesting my partner back and all of my other goals even if there were no results yet on those topics.
Yesterday morning on my way home from the gym (not carrying my wallet) I passed by the store and, after checking the jacket was still there waiting for me, and a lot cheaper that I would have ever dreamed, I decided to go back there after lunch and finally buy it.
Sales in this store are up to 70%. So I knew I could only save as much as another 10% and it won't happen anyway since sale season ends by the end of the month (today).
60% was impressive enough and I was feeling my BEST in months! It was time to enjoy the outcome of my manifestation.
Less that an hour later I was back to the store to discover the jacket, MY jacket, had been sold a few minutes before. It had been hanging there alone on a corner for months and now it was gone.
I know this is nonsense. I know I don't really care for the actual jacket at all (it was cute but my entire life is a mess now so how does it matter? It's only a jacket), but I'm devastated.
I suddenly feel hopeless, I cannot get out of my mind the idea that maybe everything is pointless. That maybe it was just a big coincidence and that I lost the chance to buy it for being silly believing it was something different.
Or even if it was indeed something I had manifested myself, I had lost it anyway!! So if I think now about my boyfriend, my job and the rest of the really IMPORTANT things that I am trying to manifest, I don't know what to do or what to believe anymore after this.
Maybe I cannot manifest my desires or maybe I can but I won't know when to grab my manifestations before they slip through my fingers. So, isn't it pointless then?
I don't know what to believe. And I've been crying quite a lot since yesterday. And I feel like a fool for crying over this. It was a test that somehow failed, sure, but considering my whole situation, the jacket could have not changed much, right?
I can't avoid the feeling that this was all my fault, for asking for too much about something so unimportant. But isn't it the main principle of the LOA anyway? I should be able to get anything I want. I am very confused. Could anyone shed some light? Could anyone help me align again and recover some faith? I feel terribly stupid at the moment.
___________
Thank you very much in advance for any reply and to anyone who takes the time to read my story.