Greetings, Love and Light...

I'm new to the board, and still relatively new to the knowledge of the LOA/ Manifesting - but I'm a HUGE fan of Veronica's, which ultimately led me here. I don't remember exactly how I came across the first video of Veronica's that I saw, but I do remember that her demeanor and relatability set her apart (in my mind) from some other teachers of LOA that I had seen before.

Okay...so, my scenario. (Please excuse me in advance if I ramble, I want to make sure I give you guys as accurate of a picture as I can)

I am a 41 yr old, happily married - father of 3, working class guy. I have a pretty fulfilling job (although from time to time it can be a little stressful). So, my wife and I have been together for a little over 18 years, married for 14 and I genuinely feel like we're SUPPOSED to be together.

Well... about 5 years ago, my workplace did a round of hiring, and in came a new co-worker. For a long while, I never attempted to go out of my way to speak to her or otherwise make conversation, or do anything that would warrant us "getting to know" each other beyond "good morning, or good night." That was until, 2016 - the office relocated and then she and I actually started to have some more interaction here and there. OH, let me add...ONCE - during her first year, one evening she let her boyfriend borrow her car, and at the end of the day he STILL hadn't come back to pick her up from work yet and she began walking home. I left out a few moments later and saw her, then offered her a ride. She declined at first, but it was in the fall so kind of chilly so she quickly changed her mind. I dropped her at home, said "see you tomorrow" and that was it.

So, fast forward to 2016, we actually "get to know" more about one another and then over the course of that year, I start to develop feelings for this woman. Now...it's 2018. I've gotten to the point where I look forward to being able to see her everyday and chat, and she seems to enjoy speaking with me also. Well, one day... she stops by my office to tell me something (I totally forget what) and before I realized it, I just blurted out "You are so gorgeous." She paused for a second and said "well, what do you mean - is it my hair?" I said "No, I mean in general - you're Gorgeous." She pauses again, then scurries back to her office. I felt so embarrassed. I sat at my keyboard for another 5 mins thinking about how much of a fool I must have looked like and that she'll probably never speak to me again. So, what do I do ? You guessed it! RUN to her office and start offering apologies. She smiles softly and says "it's okay, you're really sweet." At that point I tuck my head and go back to my office. This time feeling WORSE than I did just a few minutes before. After a couple more hours (end of business) I'm trying to focus on my workload and forget about how much of a idiot I look like, when she comes into my office on her way out. I say "oh you heading out? She responds,"yeah, but I wanted to tell you something first...I find you VERY attractive." My heart jumped up and down like I hadn't felt since my high-school days.

Now, all of this is just a small backdrop so that you get the gist of what I'm really here for.

It wasn't until after having more interactions with my co-worker that I started to contemplate the idea of the Universe placing SEVERAL people into your life for specific reasons. I always thought that your mate/spouse whomever was the ONLY person that you're supposed to be with and if you ever develop feelings for someone else, something's wrong with you or you're just being "greedy" for lack of a better word.

The crux of my issue is this. I LOVE MY WIFE with everything in me - but I can't shake the fact that I feel that I could ALSO be a benefit/companion to my co-worker AS WELL, who just so happens to be single.

I've struggled with my situation for more than two years and just when I think things are getting better, they don't. Just when I think I've "let go" or moved on, I haven't. I try NOT to be/get frustrated because I know I have no control over my wife or my co-worker but I'm stuck in the middle, with HEAVY feelings for both but MOSTLY with Time/Children and Mutual Experiences shared with my wife. I don't want to leave her, nor do I want her to leave me, but again, I also feel that I have the capacity to Care for/ Provide for/ Protect them both.

Currently, I'm in a place where my co-worker has pulled back and is showing signs that she's not even interested in being "friendly" anymore. From several conversations that we've had over time, she's gone out of her way to say that she "doesn't need a man for anything" and/or "doesn't need a man to be happy" - which I can't necessarily disagree with, but earlier on she sent signs that she would be interested in pursuing "something" with me but she changed her mind. Here I am NOW, stuck being "friend-zoned" but still having deep feelings for her. (Two fish, what can I say...)

I'm well aware that you can't "force" your way into someone's life if they don't want you there, and I'm a firm believer that I won't place myself in an environment where I'm not wanted. So, I'm thinking of that and trying to kinda "ignore" my co-worker because again, what I get from her is that I'm "bothering" her most of the time and I definitely don't want to be that guy.

I guess what I'm needing help with is:

1.) Did I manifest this situation upon myself ?
2.) Have I not visualized or set the right intention somehow ?
3.) I can't truly have what I desire ?
4.) Is it that I really HAVEN'T "let go" in order to receive my desire?
5.) Is my desire just greedy/silly/impossible ?

Any input/advice/recommendations would be greatly appreciated...