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Hi people,
I'm new here, and I look forward to talking with you guys.
In 2018 I had a massive spiritual awakening. Since then, I've been so much more open, I don't hide away from everyone anymore. And I used to be a cutter/burner. Last time I cut was a year ago. Last time I used the burning was about 3-4 months ago. It's been tough, but I must keep a new mindset; one of love for myself, because for years now I had been abusing myself, inside and out.
By the way I'm 34 (almost 35) years old. I've been in counseling since I was about 15-16 years old and now I'm 34. We work with a lot of things; overcoming depression and anxiety, self-talk so not to self-injure. I have to be on medication for all this, even PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder with Psychosis. I've been diagnosed with everything in the manual, but I think this last diagnosis is correct.
About self-love, I believe that hearing those words by different people almost every day is a sign in itself. I hated myself for so long, and it only made me sicker (not just mentally sick, but physically too). I'd also left other social media for a few months here, because I needed some space. My friends and family understand.
I had heard "love yourself" just about everywhere. So today is the day that I try my best to put away the dishes and check the laundry here soon too. I hate to put it all on my mom. Yes, I live with my mom. I am not married and never have been. I'd like to be, someday. I sorta hope it's sooner than later, but it is what it is.
Well the lesson I learned from that relationship is not to be a pushover and let others come in your home and try to rearrange your whole life, and not to let people talk me down, I must stand up for myself because no one can hold my hand the whole time.
Anyway, thank you for reading this. I look forward to meeting new people here. It seems like a great place to be, here.
Alex
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welcome! Im working on my "self Love' as well..tho I do love myself...somedays...and some days I cry and wish I were different. I have a hard time meeting people maybe social phobias..but I think its normal..I never know what to say at first unless I have someone I know with me...but I am working thru that..I joined a meet up site and am determined to get out there and get moving..39 never married but I know I will be one day
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Ahh, please forgive my late reply. I just recently checked my email and saw your reply.
Wow. I thought I was the only one who felt like that too, with the social anxiety, being so alone, but still determined to, one day, get out in the world.
You may have heard this before... "First, love yourself, then you will be able to love others and they will be able to love you". Gosh there was another quote but it just slipped my mind.. if I remember I'll post it.
I'm going on 35 (next month), and I've only been with two people in a love relationship, and that was back in 2005.
I often feel like I don't belong here (on Earth).. it feels so foreign. Life for me has beat me up.
I feel like an alien sometimes lol
Well Kasper80, thank you for your reply. It is very appreciated because now I know I'm not alone. When I read your reply, I saw myself 100%. I don't find many people like you and me in the world.
I hope to talk with you more again soon! It's rare to find someone who can understand my issues and problems... especially considering they've been through / are going through very similar things in life.
Thanks again for the reply. I appreciate it, sincerely!
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It's an interesting story.