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4/09/2019 9:21 pm  #1


Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

Hello - 

I am not sure I am doing this right, but here it goes. I am struggling. My EX broke up w me almost 8 weeks ago. It was really my fault, i was depressed and not happy for months. he got a great job in Florida and wanted met to go with him, but I just couldnt.. at the time. My business is here in CA.  Well after just a few months he broke up me. I was needy and would give him the silent treatment for days ... i didnt know how to tel him I was hurting he was gone. 
And now he is dating someone.. and when he commits he is all in. which scares me. She is there, I am here and he wont even talk to me. 
I trully believe he is my soulmate. I am 42 and have been in several relationships, but this one... this one WAS the ONE. I just feel so alone. I want to have hope and believe in the LOA but I am struggling.. half the day i am like i got this... then the other half i spend crying.  He is now becoming the man i wanted him to be, he quit smoking, he is going to the gym, he got a GREAT job... and poof now the other girl gets him. 

Any of you know REAL success stories... does my sound hopeless? 

  I am spending a ridiculous amount of money on coaches trying to get help. This one promised a great 10 week program with unlimited emails and texts and weekly skype calls for 1500, and then poof our first call he was like... il talk to you in 2 weeks and only email me if he texts you??  

I know i sound sad and desperate, I guess I am. I am just so scared. I miss him so much .. 
Thanks...sorry for blubbering. 
 

 

4/10/2019 12:45 am  #2


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

Cristle26 wrote:

Hello - 

I am not sure I am doing this right, but here it goes. I am struggling. My EX broke up w me almost 8 weeks ago. It was really my fault, i was depressed and not happy for months. he got a great job in Florida and wanted met to go with him, but I just couldnt.. at the time. My business is here in CA.  Well after just a few months he broke up me. I was needy and would give him the silent treatment for days ... i didnt know how to tel him I was hurting he was gone. 
And now he is dating someone.. and when he commits he is all in. which scares me. She is there, I am here and he wont even talk to me. 
I trully believe he is my soulmate. I am 42 and have been in several relationships, but this one... this one WAS the ONE. I just feel so alone. I want to have hope and believe in the LOA but I am struggling.. half the day i am like i got this... then the other half i spend crying.  He is now becoming the man i wanted him to be, he quit smoking, he is going to the gym, he got a GREAT job... and poof now the other girl gets him. 

Any of you know REAL success stories... does my sound hopeless? 

  I am spending a ridiculous amount of money on coaches trying to get help. This one promised a great 10 week program with unlimited emails and texts and weekly skype calls for 1500, and then poof our first call he was like... il talk to you in 2 weeks and only email me if he texts you??  

I know i sound sad and desperate, I guess I am. I am just so scared. I miss him so much .. 
Thanks...sorry for blubbering. 
 

 
It makes me so angry when I hear this sort of thing. I was just telling someone the other day they were in it for the money, not to mention that a lot of them are useless and incompetent, and the best ones are ripping off Neville anyway, and all of his teachings are free online. Don't spend even one more penny on any of them. Nobody needs them. Forget all of that 'LOA' nonsense you've probably heard already. All it will do is confuse you.

First of all, don't beat yourself up. This is not hopeless. I recommend, as usual, because I follow them myself and have had good results in various areas, the teachings of Neville Goddard. Other people have taught similar ideas but Neville didn't put limitations that other people sometimes have done on anything. Don't be fooled by how simple the teachings are. They have been proven 100% effective when done correctly. Part of doing them correctly means to persevere, have faith, be patient, and give it all the time it needs, as well as completely ignoring anything that would deny that your desire is already yours. You've got to be singleminded about it, even what other people might call 'delusional', not swinging back and forth like a pendulum between despair and belief/faith. This may take some practice. If you and he do social media, don't look at his if it is going to upset you. Imagination and faith are very important, and you don't want to do anything that would undermine them.

I'm putting a link below to the short version of The Secret of Imagining recording Neville made as an introduction, but I recommend going a lot further than that and reading his books and listening to his other lectures, and then trusting him and following his advice. He taught from his experience. This is not somebody's theory.  He would say, and he has said, there is no if about whether it will work. The on!y if is will you do it? As far as his books go I would suggest starting with The Law and the Promise because it contains a lot of amazing, even sometimes miraculous-sounding, success stories written to Neville by people who had followed his teachings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YccI-t1yojk&t=9s

Last edited by Cynthia (4/10/2019 12:52 am)


The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
 

4/10/2019 1:56 pm  #3


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

Cynthia - thank yo so much for replying! 
I have been trying to study and understand that "everyone is you pushed out" and it makes a lot of sense when i think about situations in my life. I see how my thoughts have caused situations, especially this breakup. 

I want to let go of the fear that he is truly gone forever, but I am so scared he will never reach out to me again. I have started to listen to Neville - thanks for the link. I have to admit, i have a hard time understanding it , but i will try. 
"Part of doing them correctly means to persevere, have faith, be patient, and give it all the time it needs, as well as completely ignoring anything that would deny that your desire is already yours. You've got to be singleminded about it, even what other people might call 'delusional', not swinging back and forth like a pendulum between despair and belief/faith." I have a hard time with this, when people ask me about it. I dont want to sound crazy.  any recommendations? 

Thanks for your help. It is so nice to talk to someone. I paid for Veronicas emails and text.. but still havent heard back, i understand she is very busy, but its great to be able to reach out and talk to live person. Especially when your feeling lost and hopeless. 

 

     Thread Starter
 

4/10/2019 2:52 pm  #4


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

Cristle26 wrote:

Cynthia - thank yo so much for replying! 
I have been trying to study and understand that "everyone is you pushed out" and it makes a lot of sense when i think about situations in my life. I see how my thoughts have caused situations, especially this breakup. 

I want to let go of the fear that he is truly gone forever, but I am so scared he will never reach out to me again. I have started to listen to Neville - thanks for the link. I have to admit, i have a hard time understanding it , but i will try. 
"Part of doing them correctly means to persevere, have faith, be patient, and give it all the time it needs, as well as completely ignoring anything that would deny that your desire is already yours. You've got to be singleminded about it, even what other people might call 'delusional', not swinging back and forth like a pendulum between despair and belief/faith." I have a hard time with this, when people ask me about it. I dont want to sound crazy.  any recommendations? 

Thanks for your help. It is so nice to talk to someone. I paid for Veronicas emails and text.. but still havent heard back, i understand she is very busy, but its great to be able to reach out and talk to live person. Especially when your feeling lost and hopeless. 

 

 
Don't talk about it or what you're doing to anybody. They don't need to know, and most people don't understand anyway. Neville's teachings are very simple. Imagination creates reality. What you imagine, if sustained, will become a fact. What you imagine is creating your experiences, and what happens in your imagination is really the only reality because imagining something is creative and precedes something's appearance in the outer world. We're all imagining and creating all the time whether we know it or not, so imagining what we desire and sustaining that for long enough is to consciously create what we desire. To live in the end of the wish fulfilled means to go right to the end result you want to achieve and imagine and believe that you already have that desire and feel that it is a reality. Feeling that you have it is the most important part. In your case,, as an example let's say you want to marry your SP because I don't know if marriage is your goal or not. You would imagine being married to him, wearing a wedding ring, what it would feel like to be married to him. You could create a scene that meant to you that you were married and repeat that every day and/or night, Neville recommended before sleep because that is one of the times when the subconscious mind is most receptive to suggestion. What not to do - don't try to force anything, don't try to do anything to directly manipulate the outside world, don't try to imagine steps you think need to happen along the way, don't think about whether there is a third party or not, don't think about him being at a distance, don't think about any negatives that have happened in the past, don't look for signs - signs follow, they don't precede, don't check social media or anything else to see if any change might be happening, don't worry or doubt or fear anything. Go straight to the end result and dwell there. Have faith in your imaginal acts, which are the only reality. Imagine how happy you both are together and how well you treat each other. As I said before, have faith, persist, persevere, and be patient. Also, be calm and relaxed about it. It takes as long as it takes. Just as it takes a certain amount of time for a seed to grow into a plant or tree and there are different gestation periods for different mammals, this will take a certain amount of time, and nobody knows how long that is.


There is a letter by Mrs J.E. in The Law and the Promise, chapter 3, in which she tells Neville, to whom she had spoken for his advice prior, in detail about how she married the man of her choice, someone she'd met on a blind date but within days she had moved home, as had the person who had introduced them, but somehow he 'found' her. There is a thread in a section above, which is called 'new to Neville', it has been the last post there, that you might find of use.

Many years ago, before I ever heard of Neville, I married my husband of many years by imagining I was married to him and wearing an imaginary wedding ring. It was long distance with minimal contact. However, since I've discovered Neville, I would have done things differently, in that I would have added some important details that I wanted to be a part of the relationship instead of leaving them to chance, so I recommend that you do that as well. That's what I'm doing with my current SP, and he's long distance as well and we haven't had contact for over 2 years. He's cut me off 4 times, the longest was for 4 years and 4 months, but I also wasn't applying Neville's teachings to this situation until recently when I finally made up my mind that I wanted a relationship with him. Time doesn't matter. Distance doesn't matter. Your beliefs are what matter. Don't let anybody dissuade you or discourage you. I've been called 'delusional' for believing that I'll ever hear from my SP again. I take that as a compliment. That came from somebody who has no belief or faith at all in anything that he can't see or hear or otherwise experience with his 5 senses. Neville's lecture Brazen Impudence is great for persistence.. Sorry to hear you paid V. To put it very mildly, I'm not a fan.

Last edited by Cynthia (4/10/2019 3:24 pm)


The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
 

4/10/2019 3:21 pm  #5


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

If you aren’t a fan you shouldn’t be on her forum.

 

4/10/2019 3:27 pm  #6


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

Selfloveiskey wrote:

If you aren’t a fan you shouldn’t be on her forum.

 
Mind your own business. I'm not talking to you.

Last edited by Cynthia (4/10/2019 3:27 pm)


The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
 

4/10/2019 3:35 pm  #7


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

Cynthia wrote:

Selfloveiskey wrote:

If you aren’t a fan you shouldn’t be on her forum.

 
Mind your own business. I'm not talking to you.

All I was saying was that if you aren’t a fan of Veronica it doesn’t make sense to be on her forum. Anyways

 

4/10/2019 4:47 pm  #8


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

Cynthia wrote:

Cristle26 wrote:

Cynthia - thank yo so much for replying! 
I have been trying to study and understand that "everyone is you pushed out" and it makes a lot of sense when i think about situations in my life. I see how my thoughts have caused situations, especially this breakup. 

I want to let go of the fear that he is truly gone forever, but I am so scared he will never reach out to me again. I have started to listen to Neville - thanks for the link. I have to admit, i have a hard time understanding it , but i will try. 
"Part of doing them correctly means to persevere, have faith, be patient, and give it all the time it needs, as well as completely ignoring anything that would deny that your desire is already yours. You've got to be singleminded about it, even what other people might call 'delusional', not swinging back and forth like a pendulum between despair and belief/faith." I have a hard time with this, when people ask me about it. I dont want to sound crazy.  any recommendations? 

Thanks for your help. It is so nice to talk to someone. I paid for Veronicas emails and text.. but still havent heard back, i understand she is very busy, but its great to be able to reach out and talk to live person. Especially when your feeling lost and hopeless. 

 

 
Don't talk about it or what you're doing to anybody. They don't need to know, and most people don't understand anyway. Neville's teachings are very simple. Imagination creates reality. What you imagine, if sustained, will become a fact. What you imagine is creating your experiences, and what happens in your imagination is really the only reality because imagining something is creative and precedes something's appearance in the outer world. We're all imagining and creating all the time whether we know it or not, so imagining what we desire and sustaining that for long enough is to consciously create what we desire. To live in the end of the wish fulfilled means to go right to the end result you want to achieve and imagine and believe that you already have that desire and feel that it is a reality. Feeling that you have it is the most important part. In your case,, as an example let's say you want to marry your SP because I don't know if marriage is your goal or not. You would imagine being married to him, wearing a wedding ring, what it would feel like to be married to him. You could create a scene that meant to you that you were married and repeat that every day and/or night, Neville recommended before sleep because that is one of the times when the subconscious mind is most receptive to suggestion. What not to do - don't try to force anything, don't try to do anything to directly manipulate the outside world, don't try to imagine steps you think need to happen along the way, don't think about whether there is a third party or not, don't think about him being at a distance, don't think about any negatives that have happened in the past, don't look for signs - signs follow, they don't precede, don't check social media or anything else to see if any change might be happening, don't worry or doubt or fear anything. Go straight to the end result and dwell there. Have faith in your imaginal acts, which are the only reality. Imagine how happy you both are together and how well you treat each other. As I said before, have faith, persist, persevere, and be patient. Also, be calm and relaxed about it. It takes as long as it takes. Just as it takes a certain amount of time for a seed to grow into a plant or tree and there are different gestation periods for different mammals, this will take a certain amount of time, and nobody knows how long that is.


There is a letter by Mrs J.E. in The Law and the Promise, chapter 3, in which she tells Neville, to whom she had spoken for his advice prior, in detail about how she married the man of her choice, someone she'd met on a blind date but within days she had moved home, as had the person who had introduced them, but somehow he 'found' her. There is a thread in a section above, which is called 'new to Neville', it has been the last post there, that you might find of use.

Many years ago, before I ever heard of Neville, I married my husband of many years by imagining I was married to him and wearing an imaginary wedding ring. It was long distance with minimal contact. However, since I've discovered Neville, I would have done things differently, in that I would have added some important details that I wanted to be a part of the relationship instead of leaving them to chance, so I recommend that you do that as well. That's what I'm doing with my current SP, and he's long distance as well and we haven't had contact for over 2 years. He's cut me off 4 times, the longest was for 4 years and 4 months, but I also wasn't applying Neville's teachings to this situation until recently when I finally made up my mind that I wanted a relationship with him. Time doesn't matter. Distance doesn't matter. Your beliefs are what matter. Don't let anybody dissuade you or discourage you. I've been called 'delusional' for believing that I'll ever hear from my SP again. I take that as a compliment. That came from somebody who has no belief or faith at all in anything that he can't see or hear or otherwise experience with his 5 senses. Neville's lecture Brazen Impudence is great for persistence.. Sorry to hear you paid V. To put it very mildly, I'm not a fan.

This is really helpful information. Wow 4 years and 4 months... I love that you still have belief in this . I really hope that it is not that long! I am really going to try and focus on that wedding ring, because we were supposed to get married next year  

I wish I moved with him when he asked, i really thought that we could handle the distance and that it could even be fun. But.. if i am honest, even before the move i started feeling and saying things like you are just going to leave me when you move.. which he did  

thanks again... I am still waiting for Veronicas replies..

     Thread Starter
 

4/10/2019 6:50 pm  #9


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

Cristle26 wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

Cristle26 wrote:

Cynthia - thank yo so much for replying! 
I have been trying to study and understand that "everyone is you pushed out" and it makes a lot of sense when i think about situations in my life. I see how my thoughts have caused situations, especially this breakup. 

I want to let go of the fear that he is truly gone forever, but I am so scared he will never reach out to me again. I have started to listen to Neville - thanks for the link. I have to admit, i have a hard time understanding it , but i will try. 
"Part of doing them correctly means to persevere, have faith, be patient, and give it all the time it needs, as well as completely ignoring anything that would deny that your desire is already yours. You've got to be singleminded about it, even what other people might call 'delusional', not swinging back and forth like a pendulum between despair and belief/faith." I have a hard time with this, when people ask me about it. I dont want to sound crazy.  any recommendations? 

Thanks for your help. It is so nice to talk to someone. I paid for Veronicas emails and text.. but still havent heard back, i understand she is very busy, but its great to be able to reach out and talk to live person. Especially when your feeling lost and hopeless. 

 

 
Don't talk about it or what you're doing to anybody. They don't need to know, and most people don't understand anyway. Neville's teachings are very simple. Imagination creates reality. What you imagine, if sustained, will become a fact. What you imagine is creating your experiences, and what happens in your imagination is really the only reality because imagining something is creative and precedes something's appearance in the outer world. We're all imagining and creating all the time whether we know it or not, so imagining what we desire and sustaining that for long enough is to consciously create what we desire. To live in the end of the wish fulfilled means to go right to the end result you want to achieve and imagine and believe that you already have that desire and feel that it is a reality. Feeling that you have it is the most important part. In your case,, as an example let's say you want to marry your SP because I don't know if marriage is your goal or not. You would imagine being married to him, wearing a wedding ring, what it would feel like to be married to him. You could create a scene that meant to you that you were married and repeat that every day and/or night, Neville recommended before sleep because that is one of the times when the subconscious mind is most receptive to suggestion. What not to do - don't try to force anything, don't try to do anything to directly manipulate the outside world, don't try to imagine steps you think need to happen along the way, don't think about whether there is a third party or not, don't think about him being at a distance, don't think about any negatives that have happened in the past, don't look for signs - signs follow, they don't precede, don't check social media or anything else to see if any change might be happening, don't worry or doubt or fear anything. Go straight to the end result and dwell there. Have faith in your imaginal acts, which are the only reality. Imagine how happy you both are together and how well you treat each other. As I said before, have faith, persist, persevere, and be patient. Also, be calm and relaxed about it. It takes as long as it takes. Just as it takes a certain amount of time for a seed to grow into a plant or tree and there are different gestation periods for different mammals, this will take a certain amount of time, and nobody knows how long that is.


There is a letter by Mrs J.E. in The Law and the Promise, chapter 3, in which she tells Neville, to whom she had spoken for his advice prior, in detail about how she married the man of her choice, someone she'd met on a blind date but within days she had moved home, as had the person who had introduced them, but somehow he 'found' her. There is a thread in a section above, which is called 'new to Neville', it has been the last post there, that you might find of use.

Many years ago, before I ever heard of Neville, I married my husband of many years by imagining I was married to him and wearing an imaginary wedding ring. It was long distance with minimal contact. However, since I've discovered Neville, I would have done things differently, in that I would have added some important details that I wanted to be a part of the relationship instead of leaving them to chance, so I recommend that you do that as well. That's what I'm doing with my current SP, and he's long distance as well and we haven't had contact for over 2 years. He's cut me off 4 times, the longest was for 4 years and 4 months, but I also wasn't applying Neville's teachings to this situation until recently when I finally made up my mind that I wanted a relationship with him. Time doesn't matter. Distance doesn't matter. Your beliefs are what matter. Don't let anybody dissuade you or discourage you. I've been called 'delusional' for believing that I'll ever hear from my SP again. I take that as a compliment. That came from somebody who has no belief or faith at all in anything that he can't see or hear or otherwise experience with his 5 senses. Neville's lecture Brazen Impudence is great for persistence.. Sorry to hear you paid V. To put it very mildly, I'm not a fan.

This is really helpful information. Wow 4 years and 4 months... I love that you still have belief in this . I really hope that it is not that long! I am really going to try and focus on that wedding ring, because we were supposed to get married next year  

I wish I moved with him when he asked, i really thought that we could handle the distance and that it could even be fun. But.. if i am honest, even before the move i started feeling and saying things like you are just going to leave me when you move.. which he did  

thanks again... I am still waiting for Veronicas replies..

 
As I mentioned before, until recently I hadn't been doing what I've recommended to you and what I am now doing myself with regard to my current SP. I couldn't make up my mind for a very long time whether or not I wanted a relationship with him other than a friendship. My SP has had and still has a lot of problems, including legal ones, to sort out, which I've known all along was uppermost in his mind above everything else, so I'm well aware I might not be hearing from him for awhile longer, perhaps not until they're completely behind him, but I'm not bothered because I'm confident that I'll hear from him again when he's ready, whether that's next week or next year or whenever. Like I mentioned before (unless you want to use revision on past events) put them out of your mind and dwell on the end result. Don't infer any opponents or obstacles because there aren't any except yourself.

One form of revision is to take an undesirable event and imagine an entirely different outcome. In your case, one example might be, instead of thinking that he would leave you when he moved, to imagine him saying something like how much he loved you and that he didn't want to live without you and that he'd wait as long as it took for you to decide to move to be with him, or if necessary, he would move back to be with you because you were more important to him than anything. That's just an example to give you an idea.  You can, of course, pick something that is most meaningful and helpful to you. I've sometimes written letters to myself from another person saying what I wanted them to say and then read it over and over until it felt real, and that's helped me a lot in certain situations.


The first man to raise a fist is the man who has run out of ideas.
 

4/10/2019 7:54 pm  #10


Re: Struggling with LOA and my SP/EX

OMgosh i love this advice : 

"One form of revision is to take an undesirable event and imagine an entirely different outcome. In your case, one example might be, instead of thinking that he would leave you when he moved, to imagine him saying something like how much he loved you and that he didn't want to live without you and that he'd wait as long as it took for you to decide to move to be with him, or if necessary, he would move back to be with you because you were more important to him than anything. That's just an example to give you an idea.  You can, of course, pick something that is most meaningful and helpful to you. I've sometimes written letters to myself from another person saying what I wanted them to say and then read it over and over until it felt real, and that's helped me a lot in certain situations." 

I have a lot of retraining to do. But the way you say is very helpful! 

 

Last edited by Cristle26 (4/10/2019 8:05 pm)

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