Hi all,

First of all I would like to thank you for reading this, this will be a long story.. and I've stumbled upon Veronica's videos for about a couple of months before and tried to use the techniques. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't (I'm not sure really)

So the story goes, she is an ex-girl friend of one of my friends in our group, but that guy is not really close to me. then I heard from her that they broke up already.. But I didn't go hit her immediately after the break up. (that was back 2016). And we talked regularly through chat but my intention was just being there as a friend and all.. I lately realized that I had feelings for this girl when last year (2018) she was going to be confined,and it got me all worried. That was the time that I realized I had feelings for the girl.. 

I didn't ask her ex's permission to pursue her, then I tried to self validate my feelings, tried not talking to her, tried to ignore her(it made me feel like a dump). But the heart wants what the heart wants right?.. So in the end I realized I do have feelings for her. 

At some point, I saw photos of her with another guy and I suspected that there is something going on between them, So I approached her through chat and asked her if they're together, but she denied it, and said, she's still testing the guy. Then that was the time that I told her I had feelings for her and all.. At first she was surprised, and couldn't even believe it.. But I said my piece and then proceeded in pursuing her/courting her (this happened October 16 2018).. 

This is the problem. you see this girl meets this guy regularly. even though I try to set dates and all she would deny it and tell me she's busy or something. But keeps on meeting this other guy. the guy posts stories of them daily. ( imagine the torture I always experience) But I kept my cool, I did ask her about the other guy 3 times but I explained that if you guys have something going on, you should at least tell me, I don't want to break something because of my selfishness. thankfully she said , he's just a close friend of mine..

So we chat regularly, I always say goodmorning and goodnight. Sometimes she doesn't reply to me ( which is nerve wracking) and sometimes she does talk a lot. and if we're together I always make sure we have a good time.

Earlier this year, first week of January, I went to her office to surprise her and asked if she was free to have dinner after work. She told me she was busy and then declined my offer, but she was thankful for the food and drinks that I gave her. after some hours passed, I went to the mall near her office, and I saw her with her family at starbucks.. 
I then thought okay. maybe she couldn't have dinner because she's with her family.. So I circled the mall waiting for the traffic to be lighter before I commute home. But the bad thing is that, I saw her with the other guy.. it was a couple of minutes but, it was so painful. I followed them for a bit. But then I couldn't handle anymore then just went home. I cried a lot obviously. then proceeded to not contacting her for a week.. I also stopped checking up on her and the IG stories of the other guy.

after a week ( 2nd week of January 2019) I messaged her, and she surprisingly, immediately replied as if she was waiting for my chat.. we talked a bit on the phone and I told her, why don't we just meet and we could share stories personally, that would be better I think. So I went to her house and brought wine and food. We talked a bit, and then after 2 bottles of wine. we went to their rooftop. And I did a romantic gesture of asking her to dance ( slow dance) with beautiful in White as a back ground music. and after that we kissed, kissed passionately like we were together already. And we ended up escalating things more (yes that stuff). So I was so happy and relieved that time. it was magical. it was unbelievable, but it happened. So I thought maybe I really got a shot at this now. 

I didn't check on the other dude as well. And I chatted to the girl every day after that. We talked every day though I would try to ask her out, she still declines it.. And 3 weeks passed and we still haven't seen each other in person.

Then I told her that one of our friends had a relative died in their family (This was a Sunday). So she told me you should go visit him on Tuesday. I then thought she was indirectly asking me to ask her to go to the funeral with her... So I did ask her, and she agreed..

Fast forward to Tuesday. we went there I was driving, it was a 3 hr drive going to the place. And at some point of the drive I just suddenly placed my hand atop hers. And viola! we held hands. I was not expecting that but she did hold hands with me. And even infront of our friend. then after the funeral. I drove her to her house, then I asked if I could stay for a bit because it was so tiring to drive all day.. Then, things happened again. we kissed, held hands, she even rest her head on my chest this time while holding me and she was sleeping.

So all good all good, though I made some mistakes during that night. I was still a good night.. Then back to normal, chat and all that.

Feb 9
Comes Saturday, she frequently went to a coffee shop near them to work on her pending paperworks. So when I saw that in her IG story, I immediately rushed to the place to surprise her. 

She was surprised ofcourse haha, and we spent the whole day working. at somepoint she went to the bathroom, then she told me she will take a walk around the mall ( very suspicious) so I was really anxious, where she went etc. but when she returned, she then told me it was a very tiring walk and all. and then She suddenly laid down to me like a cat, and I proceeded in holding her hands as well.. That was really confusing though, because the whole day we didn't even held hands.And some of our friends asked us to go out to dinner so we went with them as well.. We held hands while walking around the mall waiting for our friends to come pick us. (though she wouldn't hold hands in front of them)..

Fast forward to Feb 14 I went to her work and gave her Tulips ( its expensive in our country and rare, and she likes it so much) and a gift. then I asked her if we could have dinner after work and before her class etc. 

Then when we met after her work.. I thought Everything was going great. So I told her, well I think things between us are going to well, we are progressing slowly,but surely, and I really like this idea. I've decided as well that I will not meet any other girl except you.. then she just nodded and all. Then I told her. Well Since we have this already, would you like to be together now? I mean me and you in a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. (not we were holding hands still and she was laying down on me)

But then she said no, she told me its too early, she has no feelings for me, She even told me, I didn't even say I love you to you, unlike you, you express it so much.. So it broke me.. then tried to change the topic by saying Well okay, I understand. so anyway, are you free on Saturday, I would like to take you out on a date.. you can even bring your work if you want. 

We were still okay after that talk.. but I went overboard by not letting go of her hands when she asked to, and I even tried to hug her and it annoyed her so much.. So in short our Feb 14 was the worst...


I messaged her after that, she didnt even bothered opening the message. after 3 days I asked her if I could call her but she said she was still busy.. So I waited, She then told me just send it as a message, but I really wanted to say it through call. (I got ignored). then after a day, I sent her a long message saying sorry for the things I've done. I was sorry that I was inconsiderate, that I didnt even consider her feelings, and I was pressuring her into something she was not ready yet.. and Told her that I could wait for the perfect time, when everything feels right, and everything is perfect for the both of us. ( she just read the message but didnt reply) 

So I recognized she needed space. And I didn't contact her after that message ( it was hell for me) Though I was still planning to contact her after a set amount of time (2 weeks maybe).. But during this No Contact time, I was really looking for ways on how to win her back again, I know I made mistakes and all And I really want to fix this. 

I watched videos on youtube as well on how to manifests texts and how to bring her back etc.. at somepoint it worked! (or at least I thought it worked) because after 10 days(March 1 ) she messaged me saying sorry if was hard for me, and she was thankful that I gave time to ponder about it and realize my faults on my own. So I thought everything was good. 

So we talked a bit we asked about each other, she asked how was I, I also asked her etc.. but then she stopped messaging again. so I waited after a day then I sent her a message like how was her day going etc. so she told me she's busy at work and school ( she ranted endlessly about that) then I told her, its okay, it will pass, dont' be anxious about it just take it slow or on your own pace.. And I told her I'm always here for her. She then asked me, really? you're still here? thank you!! She asked my, "are you still here for me? or not anymore? hahahaha I'm really confused now hahaha"

Then I was confused why would she ask that, then I asked her about it, she didn't reply. And I just told her, yeah I'm always here for you, I'm just waiting on what will become between us, if I still need to prove something, then so be it, I will prove it to you that I'm worthy, and my feelings are pure, and to reassure you, yes I'm always here for you, and you know it. 

she didn't respond for a week. I tried to reach out between those days but still no reply from her. She then "seen" my message on (March 9) and the next day, she replied, saying she's thankful for reaching out even though she was not replying that much. and she really appreciates it, then told me Hope you're doing well too.. 

After a couple of hours I replied and we talked a bit. And I tried asking when she is free on the week so we could meet and maybe have a date or even a work date just like before. but she ignored. I didn't reach out for a couple of days, until she posted an IG story that she was in a hospital. This got me worried sick, so I broke the no contact again and asked her what happened. then we talked a bit, and I was really trying to set a time for us to get together. But every time I do this, she will ignore my messages and its really nerve wracking..

So at some I stopped messaging her. But I was really worried about her as well.. So last Monday ( March 18) II started to use LOA, and really tried to visualize us being together, I even visualized that we were getting married and it was so clear and so real, after the visualization I even dreamed about her, her face was so clear on my dream that I know and feel this is so real!.  on the same day around 12 am, I sent her a voice chat, I was trying to motivate her in the things that she was doing, because she's taking grad school ( Psychology ) and is working as well. 

She responded! so I thought LOA is now working!! , saying thanks and all she's really busy and stressed out etc. Then I asked her If I could call her, for a short time (like 30 mins or so ) so she agreed and we talked..

At first I told her, I'm not trying to demand here okay, I know you're busy in work and school, but I'm just confused on whats happening now, sometimes you would respond sometimes you'll just ignore. And I know you have a lot to deal with right now, but I think there is some explanation to this? She told me she was really busy and all that, so I said okay sorry, and Yeah I know you're busy and I know you can do it, just don't stress out too much..

then I proceeded with asking her why did she ask me if I'm still here for her, or not? first off, I explained that I didnt contact her after the long message because I recognized that she needed space and time. So it was hard for me as well but I had to do it. That's where she though I was over her. because I didn't contact. Then I went to reassure her the that I only did that because I knew she was still pissed at me.. 

She understood my side and told me okay okay I get it now, noted. Then I asked her so why did you ask your question, She then told me because I really thought you just went on your way... I reassured her again, If I will ever stop pursuing you, the least I could do is tell you I'll stop, but that would be impossible at this point because I really love you so much. and ofcourse I told her that I'm always here for you to support you in anything you want to do, I'm always here for you...

I thought everything was going well.. but then I didnt expect these next lines from her..

She told me that she will be busy for the year and maybe the next year, so she said, " I think you should go out and be open again, meet other people"

This broke me, it only means one thing right?

then she proceeded in saying : "I don't want you to be left out in life, I don't want you to be limited to me only. so you should go out and be open. I'm setting you free now" 

I couldn't process this..because it was so horrible for me and I didn't expect this or even wanted this! .

So I told her, why would I go out again, you're here already, I don't want to look for anyone else. its only you..

then she stated out the reasons, 1 was she's so busy now, she knows she can't give time and attention to me because she's so busy, she cant reciprocate the things that I would do for her.

2. she was turned off about the Feb 14 thing, when I asked her to be my girlfriend, she told me it scarred her and hurt her so much, ( I only asked her once.. how did that even hurt her, it hurt so much for me!! ) she told me, I didn't consider her feelings etc. and even the hugging thing, it really annoyed her, to the point that she already counted 3 instances of me being that same pushy guy. and that really turned her off.. Plus she counted me calling and talking to her like this a 4th instance.. so all in all its 4 instances of bad things happened, and she told me we're not even together and yet we have these problems already.

So, ofcourse I tried to talk to her about it, and asked her if we could try to fix this.. but she didn't want to, she even asked me, okay you want to fix this, but what if I don't ??..

Okay you can wait for me but that there's no assurance that I would reciprocate.. - ( I told her ofcourse theres no assurance to this! this is a risk! theres no assurance in love you know! - But I was not shouting)

so bottom line is, she doesn't want to fix this, more like she gave up... I even told her, I can see potential in this relationship.. thats why I think we could fix this..

the last line that I remember her telling me is that. I'm not exclusive to anyone, so I'll have no time to focus on this , on fixing this, if I could just date other people.. (really hurt me so much)..

and she said, I'm sorry if I hurt you a bit, or yeah, I did hurt you on this. I hope you're not mad, but I just have things to do right now and I need to finish.. 

So I just told her, okay, if you change your mind my door is always open. I'll be here, you know I would really love to take you on dates and be on a romantic relationship with you..


She then sent me a last chat saying that, 
"Thank you, thank you for understanding. Sorry if i was rushing and have lashed out, i just really have to continue on what i am working on."

So now, its been 2 days after this talk. and I haven't eaten for 2 days at all.. I'm so broken right now that I can't think of anything else but ways on how to fix this..

Thanks for reading this and thanks for the time you gave...

I'm really lost right now, and I really would love to get some advice, ofcourse I would love to get the girl back, I know she's not even my Girlfriend, but we were friends for a long time (3 years I guess), and it hurts me so much that If I lose her , I'll lose a very close friend. not just a lover. thus I don't want to lose her..

Please help me, please tell me what to do.. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE..

How can I use LOA for this. I'm trying my best to visualize.. I know its not a magic trick and an instant solution, but Sometimes it works, only to have a bad ending? But honestly, I don't even think of negative or bad endings with her already. I focused so much on the positive, and feeling happy being with her. I just don't understand why these things happened... PLEASE HELP ME


 

Last edited by roomnumber16 (3/20/2019 11:56 am)