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12/12/2018 1:21 pm  #1


Broke no contact after 9 months

We have not spoken to each other at all in 9 months. I unfriended him on FB in Dec 2017, saw him in March when he came over and spoke briefly, but after that NC. Last week I saw him at an event but did not approach him, but he was clearly trying to get me to see him. He was sitting two rows in front of me and kept turning around. He stood up to leave when I stood up to leave. But I left without saying anything to him.

I felt bad and honestly wanted to reach out to him because I liked the thought that he was trying to get my attention.

So, the next day  I emailed him, saying that I saw him at the end of the event but that I had to leave immediately.
He replied later that night saying he was disappointed that we did not talk.

I emailed back an hour later, agreeing it was disappointing and hoping he was ok and that he could reach out to me for lunch or coffee if he was ever in my area. He has not responded.
I feel so stupid. I feel like he "won"

It has been a while now,( years) too long. And it goes this way each time. Soemtimes he will break NC, sometimes I will. Should I just stop.

I feel like LOA is not working with him. I try and then think negative thoughts, then try again. I feel like either I am or he is resistant to LOA

Last edited by issha (12/12/2018 1:22 pm)

 

12/13/2018 6:55 am  #2


Re: Broke no contact after 9 months

Hey sweetie dont be upset . It's okay atleast he tried to see you. I understand its been long but thing about LOA is that u gotta maintain your alignment no matter he is there or not which I can see that YOU HAVEN'T learned in these 9 months.And when you are in alignment with your desire you wouldn't be thinking negative especially "HE won" stuff. U are still too much obsessed about him .Remember its all about you and nobody.  
Now don't overthink and let it be keep visualizing WHAT U Want like him texting you , or coffee date. Just relax and LEARN THE ART OF BEING HAPPY.
 

 

12/13/2018 12:44 pm  #3


Re: Broke no contact after 9 months

Thank you so very much for this, I was beating myself up about it, thinking I ruined everything including the upper hand that I could have had it I just did not email him at all
It is true, I do obsess about him too much. I put  a lot of my self worth on his liking me.
 I go back and forward on  positive and negative thinking. sometimes I will visualize  and meditate and then right after that have a negative thought.

But thank you for the encouragement and reminder.
 

     Thread Starter
 

12/13/2018 3:03 pm  #4


Re: Broke no contact after 9 months

There's no upper hand or winning in a relationship, that's totally the wrong way to be looking at the situation. The no contact rule isn't something you need to follow, it's usually in place for people who will constantly bombard their ex/person with attention when they have asked them to step back. 

If you're both on good terms, that's great. If you're feeling bad about the interaction, take a step back for a while and begin to focus on open, easy communication. Since that's a vital part of any successful relationship. 


It Is Not What Happens To You, It Is How You Respond To It. 
 

12/13/2018 8:28 pm  #5


Re: Broke no contact after 9 months

Hi,

I feel dumb because I emailed him, he replied and then I  replied to that and he hasnt followed up. I am regrerting even emailing first because I broke the NC by doing that.
If I didn't he might still be in a position of wanting to talk to me. Now I feel he knows he can always get me. That's what I mean by upper hand
You say "if we are on good termsaybe my understanding of good terms is different to his.

I want it to be my easy and open and frequent and I do t know what he wants. All I know is I feel dumb for sending g the email and I want to get out of that feeling.
I want to think positive.

     Thread Starter
 

12/14/2018 8:24 am  #6


Re: Broke no contact after 9 months

Girl RELAX and do conscious breathing ........U know U gotta stop obsessing over him. It's okay u texted him first(Just try to be a lil clever when u text him first ...be cunning .lol) But still that's totally fine. Look you need to do self love and calm your mind . Listen to affirmations on you tube. Okay so here's a thing for you abut negative thinking you gotta immediately pivot the thought to something positive ......If at that moment you are not able to think positive about him then think positive about some other situation in your life.......or you could hear to affirmations and feel them .....and u need to be positive only 55% of the day.
IF you focus on yourself u more likely to be happy.
And please drop that thing of emailing first because would you still think about it if he could hear ur thoughts ? It's the same because he might not hear your thoughts but he can definitely feel the vibration attached to it.
 Don't overthink just calm the bizarre inside you by doing what makes u happy. 

 

12/15/2018 12:34 pm  #7


Re: Broke no contact after 9 months

akuma wrote:

And please drop that thing of emailing first because would you still think about it if he could hear ur thoughts ? It's the same because he might not hear your thoughts but he can definitely feel the vibration attached to it.
 

Good way of putting it. That actually helps a lot. Thanks!

 

     Thread Starter
 

12/15/2018 12:35 pm  #8


Re: Broke no contact after 9 months

akuma wrote:

 Don't overthink just calm the bizarre inside you by doing what makes u happy. 

And this made me laugh. Calm the bizarre. Good advice.

     Thread Starter
 

12/16/2018 1:37 am  #9


Re: Broke no contact after 9 months

issha wrote:

akuma wrote:

 Don't overthink just calm the bizarre inside you by doing what makes u happy. 

And this made me laugh. Calm the bizarre. Good advice.

Yeah I just meant calm down. Everyone has their own struggles ....here you could just get advice but u have to learn to deal with it. It takes time but don't be harsh on yourself and do it anyway.

 

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