Cait11 wrote:

I'm feeling drained. It's been almost 2 months since the break up, and while i know time means nothing... I don't know. There's so much different advice, both LoA related and not, that I'm feeling overwhelmed.

For example, the no contact rule that it seems every "Get your ex back" article swears by. In the beginning, there was no contact for a few days. As time has gone on, there's been periods of silence, most recently for about a week and a half after a phone call where I was asking if people liked her more than me and insecure things like that. And where I said "this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do", and my ex said "me too".

I've left communication up to my ex; I don't talk to them unless they talk to me. And I'm sure that every coach would say, "You can't do that, because then they know you're always available and they won't miss you" and all that stuff. My ex has told me, in the past, to tell them if I need space, and i told then frankly and outright that I didn't know what I needed.

Then there's "is this a rebound they're in?" Which I don't even know, since there was some level of attraction beforehand; that's what caused the breakup. (But then my ex told me what a crush means to him: an emotional connection. If I had asked that then, instead of flipping out, we'd still be together.) But they got into whatever it is within a week or two of our breakup. Last he said, he likes her, but doesn't love her; he won't say "the L word" for a while. I feel they won't last.

Meanwhile, LoA seems to shrug and be like, "just focus on what you want and it'll come." Or, at least, Neville does.

I feel like I'm this close to throwing my hands up and going, "okay, whatever." Would that be finally letting go? I know this all reads as "wow, chill out"; I'm just... new to all this, and working to figure it out. I still love this person, I still believe we could be together again. But man, I am tired.

I think the problem is you’re very worried about how you are “supposed to be” acting and about what your ex will think of you if you do certain things. That stuff doesn’t matter. All that matters is your energy.

You don’t have to have zero contact with him. You can still talk to him. I think leaving communication up to him is a good thing. The only thing you need to worry about is whether or not talking to him will ruin your alignment with the feeling of having the relationship with him now. If when you are talking to him, you find that you feel desperate or upset, then it is better to go no contact with him. But if you can still maintain your alignment and conversations are light and positive with him, you don’t need to stop talking to him. Don’t worry about how he will view you. That doesn’t matter.

And don’t worry about who he is with. They for sure won’t last if you are living in the end. Just don’t put any of your attention on that and don’t worry about it.

All you need to do is know that he is yours. What you believe is what manifests. That’s it. If you believe he is yours and don’t worry or stray from that, it must manifest. So if you find that you can still talk to him without being thrown out of the feeling of the wish fulfilled, then do that. Just don’t bring up anything about the two of you being together. Let that unfold naturally.

Hope this has helped.