In summary

I want to go but with what I currently know it would be interesting best interest not to go. So I'm torn because I don't think I can get him to change his mind in a day

Last edited by Selfloveiskey (2/23/2018 1:43 pm)

I don't know what's going on inside you, so it's hard to say what's best to do, but if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't go. Missing out on a party isn't such a big deal, is it? You can easily have another one that is more fun, because you don't worry in advance and possibly feel bad in the process of it.
In the place you are now, it's pretty likely that something would happen that makes things harder for you and I wouldn't take that risk until I am completely stable - then it's no risk anymore. How much time is left and do you think you can be rock solid stable till then (meaning truly relaxed, happy and unshakable no matter what)?

"I want to be relaxed and happy consistently and for me to appear strong and not give him much attention."
What's your intention behind that? Do you want to appear strong or do you want to be strong? Big difference: Wanting to appear a way always means you aren't and your end result will always be regarding to what you are, not to what you appear to be. And why don't you want to give him much attention? To prove him something? Sounds like playing games to me. Correct me if I am wrong. It sounds to me like you are in a subtle way still focused on him, because you care about what he thinks. You want him to have a certain kind of impression of you.

You said that you do some sort of self love, but have you ever tried this? I just heard Agnes V. do it, and it's after you tell yourself that you love yourself and things of that nature that you see your person standing in front of you and you say that you love yourself and that sort of thing to them. It's because it's about giving, not about getting, and because they don't want to feel like they have to love you in order for you to feel loved or feel good about yourself. This is supposed to make them more receptive to loving you because then they don't feel like you expect it of them or need them to.

Selfloveiskey wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

You said that you do some sort of self love, but have you ever tried this? I just heard Agnes V. do it, and it's after you tell yourself that you love yourself and things of that nature that you see your person standing in front of you and you say that you love yourself and that sort of thing to them. It's because it's about giving, not about getting, and because they don't want to feel like they have to love you in order for you to feel loved or feel good about yourself. This is supposed to make them more receptive to loving you because then they don't feel like you expect it of them or need them to.

I haven't tried that before I've done self love but never that one

 It sounds like a good idea. It might be worth a try. There's also one I'm about to listen to to get rid of any negative feelings or resentments toward the other person which I've really been needing myself lately.

Last edited by Cynthia (2/23/2018 2:36 pm)

Selfloveiskey wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

Selfloveiskey wrote:

I haven't tried that before I've done self love but never that one

 It sounds like a good idea. It might be worth a try. There's also one I'm about to listen to to get rid of any negative feelings or resentments toward the other person which I've really been needing myself lately.

I need that too! I've been mean to him he wished me happy Valentine's Day last week and had complimented me before then too and now I've been needy and mean trying to pressure him

 
If you've attracted him back before, you can do it again, and it doesn't matter at all if there is a third person. You know that. You just have to believe you can do it and not think about there being anybody else because she is so unimportant and insignificant that she is not worth wasting one more second of worry on. You never really know what is going on in somebody else's mind and heart because people often say and do things they don't really mean for any number of reasons, and things can change at any moment.