I started the 25 day challenge and I am on day 9. I decided to script/manifest my awesome boyfriend(my ex but i am acting as if) Here it goes....

It was a raining Tuesday morning. How much I just want to stay in bed underneath the warm covers. Be good, gym time. You only have to lose 10 pounds to fit in that awesome date night outfit. Plus bikini and bonfire season will be starting 3 months. So close....

My thoughts wondered off. Be postive and act as if. I keep telling myself. Underneath the warm covers my mind started to dift off. The smell of smoke and the crackling of a bonfire. God I am such a country girl. Sweet tea and fried chicken. My awesome emt/firefighther boyfriend steeps in behind me. Gives me this awesome bear hug. 💞God he is so sexy and strong.🏈 It took some time for me to warm up to him in the beginning. He smells so good. I love that smell of whiskey on his breath. He gives me kiss.  We are at his house. He decided to throw a bonfire party.

I happen to look at my phone. He had text me good morning. Acting as if and scripting paid off. In the middle of my scripting he texted me saying he misses me. He wants to meet me today. I need to text my manager. I just had a case of food poisoning 😁. Oh ****, what am i am going to wear. Lucky I had already had an awesome outfit onhand.

I meet him at his house. He gave me one of those big bear hugs.  I love how strong he is. I told him I am ready to open up to you. So here is my story....

I have not dated anyone for over 4 years. I have been only in 2 realionships and have been intimated with only one. I was scared to tell you. Since you were more experienced than me. The one guy I was intimated, it was a very abusive realionship. I was in it for 7 years. After i had left for 2/3 years i had PTSD from it. I had made a choose not to date anyone because of me being scared and I just not want to get the "why did you stay with him." Question.  I cried and he just held me. I open up to why that one night i could not sleep in his bed. He also started crying. He could not believe what i went though yet i am still an awesome women. All the pain i went through.

I open up about my family. That i am a true country girl. How i grew up working on a blueberry farm. I know how to bait a hook and know how to start a fire.  That i would rather be in jeans and out on a 4 wheeler than at a fancy restaurant. That i am a loyal to a fault. I have a passive personality and i have no idea but i can always make lemonade out of lemons. I will not neg you but if something brothers me, i will just tell you.

He was shocked about everything. My childhood. What i went though with my realionship. He held me so tight. I could feel his love. He told me, "i am safe" that i have nothing to worry about.

I told him your turn. He said, i will pass. I am more concerned about you. I just want to hold you and make you feel safe. It is ok if you want to nap in my strong arms. Right now I am more concerned with you. I said hold me tight please.  What i just told you, only one other person knows to the whole extent of what really happen. I feel alseep i  his arms knowing i was safe and i no longer have to worry...