Cynthia wrote:

authenticself wrote:

Oasiscalm wrote:

You don't seem to be showing any evidence that you have listened and applied any of the advice and direction you have been given in previous threads.

All of your writings are simply self indulgent distraction from actually doing the work.

If you are going to ask for advice you need to listen - absorb it and apply it. Otherwise you are simply wasting other's time and energy.

This thread is the same as your previous threads just repackaged in the form of a new story.

If you want him - do the work - drop the victim mentality - stop observing your current reality - and make steps to create the desired reality.

The advice is to focus on myself, I know that. My problem is not that I don’t do the work because I have been doing that work because I NEED to. I suffer from PTSD and I don’t want it to doninate my life. Let’s take the spotlight off of him and put it back on me. So here is my problem.....I live in a toxic household I am trying to move out of, I try to seperate myself from them while I am still here and do the work, it’s harder though because they see my medications and journaling as a waste of time, I have no support for who I am as a person here and trying to be my own support system, they call me retarded and a loser and it’s hard to drown out when I deal with it on a day to day basis, I try so hard to block it out because they don’t know me. I had surrounded myself with negative people and only started surrounding myself with more positive ones.

I can think more clearly and come up with how to improve myself. Self love is key, love that one of you have that as a name. Cuz it is true, the whole basis of my life so far has been lack of self love. No one is wasting their time speaking with me, I tried a meditation to clear any problems and I used between my mother and I. I can not force her to change, but I want so badly to lead by example. I feel like my mothers problem with me is that like her I am a creative, but I did not get pregnant and have the potential to go down the career path of my choice. She had to stop everything when she had me, so it bothers her that I get to go further than her.

I love to give more than receive, but I feel so useless when I cannot. Cuz I always want to give and empower, and I am TRYING. I am not over here just like life sucks, i am trying to make peace with myself. The battle between my doubts and my intuition has to stop. I am trying to let my intuition lead me, learn to trust it because everything there makes perfect sense and I always feel magnetizing pulls from wonderful opportunities. I will be going to an art therapy function because that is my career of interest. Our creative minds are what creates.....I love having fun with energy. I been able to see it since I was a little girl, but learned later that is what it is. Yeah, I am not a hopeless case, I am worth more than that.

 
I lived in a horribly toxic environment where I was caught in the middle and was treated extremely badly and very abusively. Until I could get out of there I ignored the abusive people and paid them not a blind bit of notice no matter what they said or did, and believe me, it was horrible, but I gave tbem no power to hurt my feelings or to make me feel bad about myself in any way. They didn't matter one iota to me. They were and are meaningless nothings. Don't give those toxic people any more power over you than you've already given them. Take your power back.

I heard the whole take your power back thing, but how do I ignore their hurtful words when they have me standing there in front of them while speaking badly about them. Cuz when I look away from them and try to focus on something else it makes things worst. I been trying to drown them out in every way I know how. Do I just pretend to agree with them? But remind myself it is not true?

authenticself wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

authenticself wrote:

The advice is to focus on myself, I know that. My problem is not that I don’t do the work because I have been doing that work because I NEED to. I suffer from PTSD and I don’t want it to doninate my life. Let’s take the spotlight off of him and put it back on me. So here is my problem.....I live in a toxic household I am trying to move out of, I try to seperate myself from them while I am still here and do the work, it’s harder though because they see my medications and journaling as a waste of time, I have no support for who I am as a person here and trying to be my own support system, they call me retarded and a loser and it’s hard to drown out when I deal with it on a day to day basis, I try so hard to block it out because they don’t know me. I had surrounded myself with negative people and only started surrounding myself with more positive ones.

I can think more clearly and come up with how to improve myself. Self love is key, love that one of you have that as a name. Cuz it is true, the whole basis of my life so far has been lack of self love. No one is wasting their time speaking with me, I tried a meditation to clear any problems and I used between my mother and I. I can not force her to change, but I want so badly to lead by example. I feel like my mothers problem with me is that like her I am a creative, but I did not get pregnant and have the potential to go down the career path of my choice. She had to stop everything when she had me, so it bothers her that I get to go further than her.

I love to give more than receive, but I feel so useless when I cannot. Cuz I always want to give and empower, and I am TRYING. I am not over here just like life sucks, i am trying to make peace with myself. The battle between my doubts and my intuition has to stop. I am trying to let my intuition lead me, learn to trust it because everything there makes perfect sense and I always feel magnetizing pulls from wonderful opportunities. I will be going to an art therapy function because that is my career of interest. Our creative minds are what creates.....I love having fun with energy. I been able to see it since I was a little girl, but learned later that is what it is. Yeah, I am not a hopeless case, I am worth more than that.

 
I lived in a horribly toxic environment where I was caught in the middle and was treated extremely badly and very abusively. Until I could get out of there I ignored the abusive people and paid them not a blind bit of notice no matter what they said or did, and believe me, it was horrible, but I gave tbem no power to hurt my feelings or to make me feel bad about myself in any way. They didn't matter one iota to me. They were and are meaningless nothings. Don't give those toxic people any more power over you than you've already given them. Take your power back.

I heard the whole take your power back thing, but how do I ignore their hurtful words when they have me standing there in front of them while speaking badly about them. Cuz when I look away from them and try to focus on something else it makes things worst. I been trying to drown them out in every way I know how. Do I just pretend to agree with them? But remind myself it is not true?

To thrive in such an environment you need to detach yourself mentally and physically from it. Spend as little time there and start to tune your mental processes into creating and living the life you desire.

Understand the power of another person's words and actions are given by you the recievier. You don't need to ignore them but you can learn to not hear the hurtful words. You can learn to let them roll of your back - because as you learn to see that you don't identify with the negativity they throw at you - it will lose its power quickly. 

I don't know your exact circumstances - but absolutely do not sit there and soak up a toxic environment because you believe you have nowhere else to go. That's not true.

Be honest with yourself about where you are currently mentally and then you can learn what process you need to do rebuild yourself. Discuss openly with your therapist what you need - maybe it's a different type of therapy.

Gain inner peace and things will start to change. When you get stronger you will quickly take the action you need to do for you.

Oasiscalm wrote:

authenticself wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

 
I lived in a horribly toxic environment where I was caught in the middle and was treated extremely badly and very abusively. Until I could get out of there I ignored the abusive people and paid them not a blind bit of notice no matter what they said or did, and believe me, it was horrible, but I gave tbem no power to hurt my feelings or to make me feel bad about myself in any way. They didn't matter one iota to me. They were and are meaningless nothings. Don't give those toxic people any more power over you than you've already given them. Take your power back.

I heard the whole take your power back thing, but how do I ignore their hurtful words when they have me standing there in front of them while speaking badly about them. Cuz when I look away from them and try to focus on something else it makes things worst. I been trying to drown them out in every way I know how. Do I just pretend to agree with them? But remind myself it is not true?

To thrive in such an environment you need to detach yourself mentally and physically from it. Spend as little time there and start to tune your mental processes into creating and living the life you desire.

Understand the power of another person's words and actions are given by you the recievier. You don't need to ignore them but you can learn to not hear the hurtful words. You can learn to let them roll of your back - because as you learn to see that you don't identify with the negativity they throw at you - it will lose its power quickly. 

I don't know your exact circumstances - but absolutely do not sit there and soak up a toxic environment because you believe you have nowhere else to go. That's not true.

Be honest with yourself about where you are currently mentally and then you can learn what process you need to do rebuild yourself. Discuss openly with your therapist what you need - maybe it's a different type of therapy.

Gain inner peace and things will start to change. When you get stronger you will quickly take the action you need to do for you.

Thank you for this.