It's not about "acting as if" being helpful. It's not helpful, it's necessary for manifesting desires. You have to be the person you want to be before your reality can change. And it shouldn't be called "acting" lol.
I agree that out of desperation and heartache you probably won't get anyone back, but to get out of this place, you don't have to do any self love. At least i didn't and my ex is still totally smitten by me. What can get you out of desperation is knowing that you are the boss here. Why would i be desperate if i knew that i'm the only cause and i can be and have anything i want? It was like:
Me: "Now I'm the most amazing girlfriend and he totally adores me"
Me: "But how do I know? He didn't told me."
Me: "I just told you and i'm the only one that matters"
Me: "Okay, if I'm saying this, then it has to be true"
Few days later:
My ex: "You're the love of my life. I never loved anyone this much. I can't live without you. Blahblahbla"
😂😂😂
I know some people that don't love themselfs, but they believe others love them. And it's what they experience. Self love can make it a bit easier, but it won't lead you straight to success.

Selfloveiskey wrote:

I disagree you cannot have a healthy relationship with anyone unless you love yourself. You may get the person back but will it last? I personally don't agree. You may already love yourself but a lot of people on here do not and want that person to make up for their love.  My experience was until I had self love I didn't believe I could get him back I didn't feel worthy and then when I got self love everything fell into place because I believed I could have whatever I wanted . I disagree self love is always important

How much self love is needed before you can get a person back then though? Until you feel worthy of the relationship? I know that should never be the goal of self love. But for me personally, looking at it this way did raise questions. I’ve since figured things out but I’m just sharing my thoughts.

I don't think i said that it's not important. I said that it helps but it isn't what manifests. I don't think i love myself. Sometimes i feel a bit empty and depressed, but i still believe that i create my own reality and that's all you need to have whatever you want.
As long as i believed that he loves me and the relationship will last, it was working. When i changed state and started to focus on him being busy and too exhausted from work-experience to have a relationship with me, then it started to fall down, not because i didn't feel worthy or whatever, but because i thought i can't do anything with what's going on in his life and i assumed that the relationship has no chance.
And i know a lot of couples where at least one of them doesn't talk about himself like someone who loves himself and he still has a loving partner (my grandparents for example. 40 yrs long marriage).
And also i know a lot of people who loves themselfs and their relationships are not that good and not very lasting. Why? Because the fact that you love yourself doesn't mean you can't start doubting your relationship.
Another example: i don't think i'm beautiful, but some time ago i assumed that others thinks i'm beautiful and guess what? Random guy on the street stopped me to tell me that i'm adorable and have the most beautiful smile he has ever seen. And don't try to convice me that i have to think i'm beautiful to have this experience lol
As i said, self love is great and helpful, but the most important thing is your state of being. You can love yourself how much you want but as long as you feel yourself being his ex, you will be his ex.

Last edited by MiciJones (1/25/2018 12:31 pm)

I don't think you understand what i'm saying at all, but it's okay. If you believe it will bring success, then it will. That's all.

Sanshi wrote:

I fully agree with MiciJones. Self love is a nice thing, but it isn't needed to manifest anything unless you make your state dependent on it. When you believe that you need a certain portion of self love to manifest someone, that will be your experience of course. But you could drop that believe and take the direct route. Or you could just stop assuming that you don't love yourself and start assuming that you have been loving yourself your whole life anyway. Tons of possibilities to get to a certain spot. Bashar used the term permission slips for it. Nothing bad about using them, if you aren't ready to realize fully who you are yet, but it's helpful to be aware that it is only that - a tool.
From my own experience, I can tell that I got two exes back and I had never heard anything about self love and probably wasn't too far from cutting myself.
 

I for one am glad you didn't cut yourself.  You're so awesome.