LetItBe wrote:

My husband has a lot of mental issues, and I know my leaving will not help those,

If you care about him, I would imagine something different here.

LetItBe wrote:

So my first question is, do I need to be visualizing the ultimate end result or should I be trying to manifest smaller pieces of this puzzle, like my divorce, or my friend revealing that he feels the same as me, etc. Or is that putting too much focus on the "how it will happen?"

It's not about visualising. Visualising does nothing for you. It's what you feel to be true that manifests without exception. What person would you be, if everything had already worked out the way you want it to be? How would you see the world? What would be your perspective of your ex husband, how  would you see your man? What would going on in your mind, if it were true? Moving in together or not? How would it feel like to be that person? Move in consciousness and stay there. Don't try to micromanage things, don't try to influence anyone. It's all about you. You feel yourself into the situation and everything else will fall into place, if you persist.

LetItBe wrote:

My second question is, how much of this do I need to be handling in my current life? For example, do I initiate the divorce or try to manifest it coming from my husband? Or, do I reveal my feelings for my friend (who I doubt has any idea that I'm feeling as I do for him), or try to manifest him coming to me? I don't want to "pick the fruit before it's ripe!" I also find it hard to live in the end with so many steps needed to make this end result happen, which is why I was wondering if I needed to focus on the steps in between more.

Any help is greatly appreciated!

You don't do anything. The only thing you do is changing states and becoming the person you want to be. When you stay strong in the conviction of its truth, your action will flow automatically. Don't try to figure it out. If an action is needed, you will do it without thinking about it or you will notice that you have done it after doing it. So no reason to worry about what to do or not to do. Just change yourself.