sillyromantic wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

To give another perspective on it, I had a very long marriage that started out as a long distance relationship. We started out as pen friends and got together in person after about a year and a half. We're divorced now, but so are a lot of other couples, and it had nothing to do with being long distance.

Cynthia, my marriage started that way too and we got divorced after 9 years but we are now really good friends and in a good place. Anything is possible
 

 
Same for us, until somebody else got in the way. He's essentially become a sugar daddy to some user woman who dominates him and controls his every move and would drop him like a hot potato if somebody with more money and equally or more foolish came along. She's threatened by my very existence and was most insistent that he cut me out of his life. I still talk to him sometimes anyway, but it's not the same any more. I would never have expected something like this to happen, not in a million years. It's very sad that he has such low self esteem that he thinks he has to buy somebody and to subjugate himself to her every demand and whim.

Last edited by Cynthia (10/16/2017 1:17 pm)

sillyromantic wrote:

Cynthia wrote:

sillyromantic wrote:

Cynthia, my marriage started that way too and we got divorced after 9 years but we are now really good friends and in a good place. Anything is possible
 

 
Same for us, until somebody else got in the way. He's essentially become a sugar daddy to some user woman who dominates him and controls his every move and would drop him like a hot potato if somebody with more money and equally or more foolish came along. She's threatened by my very existence and was most insistent that he cut me out of his life. I still talk to him sometimes anyway, but it's not the same any more. I would never have expected something like this to happen, not in a million years. It's very sad that he has such low self esteem that he thinks he has to buy somebody and to subjugate himself to her every demand and whim.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Me and my ex husband are very good friends now and he is always there for me. After we split I met who is now my ex boyfriend that I got on this forum for. My ex boyfriend wasn't handling the friendship with my ex husband well and it got ugly.  We were friends for 1 year and then together for another year and its been the best and worst relationship I've been with since he's bipolar and took me on a roller coaster ride and blamed most of it on me. He left with some other girl 6 months ago and crushed me so now I'm working on building myself back up and focusing on myself. People with bipolar can be very charismatic and sweep you off your feet and tell you everything you want to hear but they can also be scary too when the mood shift. I think that he's in a mania phase now and his new relationship will fail when she gets to see that other side of his illness because now is on a high. I feel bad for him in a way and the sad thing is I still love him and struggle with wanting him back but knowing I deserve better.. Anyway.. rambling a lot lol.. thats my story...
 

Thank you for your kind words.  I'm still shocked by the choices and behaviour of my ex-husband. Those are the lengths that people will go to when they are coming from a place of fear and desperation, in his case the fear of being alone.  He's the one who left me.  It was his choice to be alone.  I've lived alone for years now, and I'd rather be alone forever than live like that.

Is your ex-boyfriend the one with bipolar, and do you still want to attract him back or have you decided against it?

The person I came onto this forum to attract back is somebody who is also a long distance relationship. It started off well, then he cut me off without any explanation for something that had nothing to do with me and stayed away for a long time, years I mean, and then he contacted me again, apologised a number of times and told me he'd taken out on me what some other women had done to him and that he finally realised that I was the one he should have been focussing his attention on, and things started off the second time even better than the way they'd started off initially. However, I had a lot of worries, doubts, and concerns about why he would contact me again after so long, even though I'd wanted him to, and when he went through an extremely busy period and really had no time to himself and was ringing me less than he had been, I started to feel insecure and question even more in my mind what it was he actually wanted of me. He's the only person I've felt anything strong for in years, and that brought out my insecurities and doubts and fears that I thought I didn't have any more.  He kept breaking promises to me, even though they were small things, and that made me feel like I didn't matter  much to him, and it went back and forth like that. The last promise he ever broke to me was the most important one and hurt me so much that I gave him a massive telling off, and in spite of him inviting me to tell him off if he needed it, I haven't heard from him since, and that was in December.  What I said to him needed to be said both for him and for me, and I don't regret that part of it, I just wish I'd known what I know now so I wouldn't have let all the things that were bothering me and making me have fears and doubts and insecurities affect me like that did. I know better now, and I feel a lot better and stronger emotionally now, and I'm in a much better place to have him back in my life again.