YesIWILL wrote:

Lifesagas wrote:

You WERE that creepy and i'm sorry but it's true. When someone you dated briefly sends you hundreds of messages and you try to placate them and they carry on so you tell them you hate them and will take out a restraining order and they carry on...

And then they send you a gift of a cuddly toy and a rose and a CD of love songs including one you wrote about them and pictures. Why would you think that isn't creepy?

I think it was around that time Cherished banned you from here and you complained on other forums that Veronicas forum didn't want to help and Cherished had to go on them and say you were obsessed and exhibiting worrying tendencies.

The womans sister told you to f off and leave the family alone after the gift and almost 2 years later you're still trying to contact her and telling you you miss her.... A few weeks ago you were saying you wanted to set up a fake SM account to see if she is with someone else.

That IS frightening or 'creepy' as you say. It frightens me and i'm not the woman you're focused on.

I know it's not what you want to hear but I honestly believe you would have probably moved on a long time before now if you weren't on all these forums.

I dated her for a good while. I wasn't as creepy as you're making me out to be. I'm sure I was 'creepish', but I wasn't THAT creepy... We've known each other for years even before dating. And 2 years later I'm not trying to contact her. I've contacted her like... once or twice within the past year, probably. Maybe 3 times. And what is SM? I don't remember saying that? I remember saying when I was in a low spot that I was contemplating looking at her profile using my secondary/fake account, which isn't too creepy. Many people find that they want to look at their ex's profiles. I believe you're heavily overemphasizing and over-exaggerating my "creepiness" toward her. You only know what I've been saying and you're filling in the rest with your false perception of who I am. If you were to see any other time besides that one time I sent a lot of texts (which was RIGHT after the breakup when I was crying and freaking out) or the few things I've written on here, you'd see that I'm usually in a very good place, emotionally and that, even though she's on my mind and it does hurt when I think of her, that I'm usually in a good place, working, having a good time, laughing and being awesome at work, hanging out with friends at work, etc. I was not being as creepish as you think I was...


But my question still stands... can I still be back with her? I love her. At the moment, my life isn't stopping for her. I'm working, supporting myself, playing guitar, watching YouTube videos, relaxing, working on myself, for myself, etc. Because you see only needy posts by me (because this is an LoA forum about getting ex back, and I usually only post when I'm having difficulties) you see a false perception of who I am, and you only see me in a negative and unhappy state. It's not indicative of who I am 90%+ of the time. 

But yea... I can still attract her back, yes? 

I care about ya bt if you really understood would you ask that question? Over and over ?
We all have doubts but really think about that

I mean you can have a new relationship with her.   But unless if a miracle happens, I don’t think it will happen anytime soon.   

I would be shocked(pleasantly) if you manifested a relationship with her within the next year.   At this moment, I honestly don’t think it’s likely to happen for another year or two

I feel there’s too much baggage for it to happen anytime soon.  And like someone else said, you can suffocate someone without talking to them, since they can pickup on our energy


I feel like the timeframe could speed up, but only if you make immediate changes to your mindset(about this)


You really have to get to the point where you don’t need or care if you have a relationship with her(or you’re so confident that it will happen, that you don’t stress)


So I would try to get to the point, where it doesn’t even matter anymore and you’re so happy regardless

Cynthia wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

Lifesagas wrote:

You WERE that creepy and i'm sorry but it's true. When someone you dated briefly sends you hundreds of messages and you try to placate them and they carry on so you tell them you hate them and will take out a restraining order and they carry on...

And then they send you a gift of a cuddly toy and a rose and a CD of love songs including one you wrote about them and pictures. Why would you think that isn't creepy?

I think it was around that time Cherished banned you from here and you complained on other forums that Veronicas forum didn't want to help and Cherished had to go on them and say you were obsessed and exhibiting worrying tendencies.

The womans sister told you to f off and leave the family alone after the gift and almost 2 years later you're still trying to contact her and telling you you miss her.... A few weeks ago you were saying you wanted to set up a fake SM account to see if she is with someone else.

That IS frightening or 'creepy' as you say. It frightens me and i'm not the woman you're focused on.

I know it's not what you want to hear but I honestly believe you would have probably moved on a long time before now if you weren't on all these forums.

I dated her for a good while. I wasn't as creepy as you're making me out to be. I'm sure I was 'creepish', but I wasn't THAT creepy... We've known each other for years even before dating. And 2 years later I'm not trying to contact her. I've contacted her like... once or twice within the past year, probably. Maybe 3 times. And what is SM? I don't remember saying that? I remember saying when I was in a low spot that I was contemplating looking at her profile using my secondary/fake account, which isn't too creepy. Many people find that they want to look at their ex's profiles. I believe you're heavily overemphasizing and over-exaggerating my "creepiness" toward her. You only know what I've been saying and you're filling in the rest with your false perception of who I am. If you were to see any other time besides that one time I sent a lot of texts (which was RIGHT after the breakup when I was crying and freaking out) or the few things I've written on here, you'd see that I'm usually in a very good place, emotionally and that, even though she's on my mind and it does hurt when I think of her, that I'm usually in a good place, working, having a good time, laughing and being awesome at work, hanging out with friends at work, etc. I was not being as creepish as you think I was...


But my question still stands... can I still be back with her? I love her. At the moment, my life isn't stopping for her. I'm working, supporting myself, playing guitar, watching YouTube videos, relaxing, working on myself, for myself, etc. Because you see only needy posts by me (because this is an LoA forum about getting ex back, and I usually only post when I'm having difficulties) you see a false perception of who I am, and you only see me in a negative and unhappy state. It's not indicative of who I am 90%+ of the time. 

But yea... I can still attract her back, yes? 

 
Of course we don't know what else is going on in your life. To be honest with you, it doesn't sound like anything else is and it is beginning to sound creepy to me. I'm a pretty optimistic person and don't like to consider anything hopeless, but your posts absolutely reek of neediness, obsession, and desperation, and desperation pushes away what a person wants very effectively and keeps it away.  Obsessing over somebody like this is not a healthy thing, not for you and not for her. I know what it's like to feel strong love for somebody, but you have absolutely got to lose the desperation or you will never get her back. For your own sake, please, please take a break from this and focus on you and making yourself happy.  I'm sure we all want you to succeed, I know I do, but until you lose the desperation you'll just keep pushing her away.

I 100 percent agree.   And I’m also a pretty optimistic person


But to be blunt.  Unless he changes these things, he has no chance

Lifesagas wrote:

Like everyone else on this forum, I go on what you post.

So all the dozens of posts about her (under your previous name too). So you've posted repeatedly about her and how many times you contacted her. And how she told you to leave her alone. And the gifts you sent that she didn't want. And the messages you sent that she didn't want. On her birthday when you didn't want to hear people saying not to.. and you still did.

And another time you sent her a message saying how sad and desperate you felt (even after so many times she'd told you to leave her alone) and you came on here saying she was a cold-hearted ***** that didn't deserve you.

A *****? Not responding to someone she begged to leave her alone?

I go on what people post and their history on sites. It isn't me being a ***** if I actually respond to what they post.

I believe in LOA but i'm not an airy fairy ignore reality person when the reality is that someone is being treated badly, harrassed or abused.

Or if the reality is that someone is ignoring their problems fixating on someone as the answer.

Because she isn't. You are all over these forums talking about how you 'love' her and she's such a big part of your life.

She isn't - you've had no contact for years so she isn't a part of your life in any way. But she's a part of your consciousness in an obsessive way, oh if she just loved me things would be better?

I don't think they would.

If you stop trying 'to get her back' what will you do? What will your focus be? How will you keep a 'high vibe' if it isn't to get her? Who will you be and what do you want?

Honestly, it's not normal to spend years focusing on someone that said they don't want you. It just isn't. Figure out what you're ignoring by focusing on that.

I'm not being a *****, I just don't think the 'anything is possible huh guys?' that you seem to take from these forums (even though it's not always what people said) is good for you in any way. Or good for the woman youre focused on.

I agree with focusing on who you are separate from her. You need to look at yourself and focus on other things. there is so much more to life .  yes I have had success but focusing on me and my wants is a much much bigger success and healthy. Who are you separate from her? Have you worked on manifesting other things? Do you spend time alone loving and getting to know you? Please do that. It has been stated many times that when wanting a specific person we are looking for the feeling they give us. We can give that to ourselves. No one should be a necessity . Focus on you please please please

When you get there to the place you love you . I realized as much as I want my guy and I do think it can happen I want him to be happy more . When I saw him the other day I really most of the time focused on man he is in a bad place and even shared self love stuff with him and I really want him to take it to be happy None of what I said was really based on me stating him to be with me. Sure I got on here and was happy about what he said and stuff but I really want him happy even if in a ( small) chance it won't work out . If I didn't practice self love and stuff and reminding myself of me being a focus I would have totally focused the conversation on me and him and how much I want him blah blah blah. No he was more receptive to talking to me and he told me those things on his own free will . Just my point is this all would have gone different if I didn't focus on me and I'm happy regardless now of how this goes I was happy before. Self love is really the best thing for you cause you don't need the other person . That's my point

Last edited by Selfloveiskey (10/06/2017 12:26 pm)

Dan2015 wrote:

Lifesagas wrote:

Like everyone else on this forum, I go on what you post.

So all the dozens of posts about her (under your previous name too). So you've posted repeatedly about her and how many times you contacted her. And how she told you to leave her alone. And the gifts you sent that she didn't want. And the messages you sent that she didn't want. On her birthday when you didn't want to hear people saying not to.. and you still did.

And another time you sent her a message saying how sad and desperate you felt (even after so many times she'd told you to leave her alone) and you came on here saying she was a cold-hearted ***** that didn't deserve you.

A *****? Not responding to someone she begged to leave her alone?

I go on what people post and their history on sites. It isn't me being a ***** if I actually respond to what they post.

I believe in LOA but i'm not an airy fairy ignore reality person when the reality is that someone is being treated badly, harrassed or abused.

Or if the reality is that someone is ignoring their problems fixating on someone as the answer.

Because she isn't. You are all over these forums talking about how you 'love' her and she's such a big part of your life.

She isn't - you've had no contact for years so she isn't a part of your life in any way. But she's a part of your consciousness in an obsessive way, oh if she just loved me things would be better?

I don't think they would.

If you stop trying 'to get her back' what will you do? What will your focus be? How will you keep a 'high vibe' if it isn't to get her? Who will you be and what do you want?

Honestly, it's not normal to spend years focusing on someone that said they don't want you. It just isn't. Figure out what you're ignoring by focusing on that.

I'm not being a *****, I just don't think the 'anything is possible huh guys?' that you seem to take from these forums (even though it's not always what people said) is good for you in any way. Or good for the woman youre focused on.

Honestly you make great points.        I do feel loa can be fairy tale like.  But in his circumstances, he just needs to stop with her for a while.


They haven’t talked in months, if not years.   What does he have to lose?   I don’t get how she’s a big part of his life, they haven’t talked in so long


At this point.  He just needs to move on    I mean who knows what will happen once he does(oddly enough that’s usually when people come back)

I could see why some people have a hard time letting go.  Especially if they talk regularly or you see flashes of them loving/wanting you.    But his situation is so different.  They haven’t talked in so long

I mean. She could be a totally different person now.  Hell, if he talked to her and wasn’t attached, he might realize she’s not the one anymore

You are right all possibilities. I do know there are stories of long lost loves getting back together but desperation and things like that don't help you have to get you back. You have to take the time to focus on you. The other person isn't the sole purpose of your happiness. And even in a new relationship with out the work on you then you might be desperate with them and the same pattern happens. You have to learn and work on you for anything to change around you.