Ive been on a high.  Working on me, loving me.  Saying my meditations, writing in my book about the end and not worrying about anything just trusting and being happy. 

Well he calls me the other day after weeks and usually i would have just done NC but i was reading if they contact you it's the only time you should speak.  Well i text him back and then I called him.  He's the same cold non chalant person.  Still sleeping with other women.  He's not the person i met and fell in love with and we talked about a future even though it was short lived it was such a special happy time in my life. 

I'm so surprised i didnt see an ounce of change in him, no whispering, love im sending nothing has gotten thru.  For the last couple months i beleived so hard and I know that I know that I know the Universe/God is going to change this situation..  But after so much time not an ounce of a change in him is kinda of disheartening

My vibe is so low, yes sounded needy today and crying.  I hate I'm here today I hate it.  I've been so happy.  I hate to say maybe i cant do this anymore.  But, I love him so so much.