I think you should keep doing what you're doing, now that you're starting to be happier and let go, I think you'll move on quickly

I feel like you've had problems moving on up to this point, because you were trying to force yourself to hold on and that force feeling just made everything worse

You'll be great man, and I suspect within the next few weeks, you'll be happier than ever

Yes!!

When you place feeling better over everything else, that's when the magic happens!

Proud of you.

YesIWILL wrote:

 
I'd just like to get over her, because even when we were together, she seemed fairly wishy-washy, and didn't really give me the respect nor the kindness that I'd give her, nor that I'd deserved.
Thanks for reading!

This is good news. I'm glad you have realised that because I had long suspected this wasn't really love's young dream you know ............. and that you had been seeing it all through rose-coloured specs. We do that sometimes when our pride is damaged because someone has dumped us and we just want to prove our worth by getting them back, and we do it for the longest time and waste valuable chunks of our lives. Guilty as charged, here. 

I've been guilty too of putting someone on a pedestal when they have done nothing to deserve being there, in fact treated me badly. One guy just blanked me when we were supposed to be going out, and I finally got him to say "I've changed my mind" - when I asked him why he just looked at his feet. Later, he said he wanted to go out with me (to be fair, I had showed some unhealthy behaviour, crying and sobbing etc) and didn't show up - he said he just said that to get me off his back. I can see why he wouldn't want someone sobbing and wailing, fair enough, but I still didn't deserve to be blanked, ghosted and treated like a joke. So why would I want a fool like that?!

You never know what might happen in the future. So congratulations on your self-awareness and onwards and upwards. 

Last edited by PrettyFlamingo (6/27/2017 3:36 am)

Guys, thank you so much for the support! It means the world to me. 
So I have this dating app, and you know, it's really funny...

I'm from Virginia, United States, and my ex (the ex, haha!) is from India. Incredibly beautiful. Like REALLY REALLY physically attractive. If there could be an 11/10, she'd be it. Anyway, this is where it gets interesting...

I just matched with someone on a dating app, and oddly enough, she's Indian, obviously, from India, and the last 4 years, she's lived in the USA, and she spent the first 22 years of her life in India. Anyway, she reminds me so much of the girl I've been working on getting over. Except. So far, (we've only been talking for the past few days) she's actually really sweet and seems really interested. She's incredibly beautiful, and it's like the Universe was listening to me when I said "I want to be with my ex", and brought this girl who has all the same, but best, qualities that "the ex" had, minus, (what seems to be) all the bad qualities.

Maybe something better really does mean something. I don't know yet though, still VERY early days. We matched the other day. Anyway, I realize that I'm always the one to put in 100000000% from the get-go, and the girl always loses interest, so of course, I fear that I may be showing too much interest, etc. and that she may lose interest in me, because that's where my belief lies, based on my experience (last two exes just... lost interest in me, while dating over time. And I may be oblivious to things, but in this case, I really can't see why haha!). But you know what? If that happens, it's not the end of the world. I'll give it a shot, and see what happens. She lives about 2 hours from me (Same city as my niece and sister), so we'll see what happens. I just need to work on my beliefs and my "belief" that "they all lose interest in me over time". I don't want to play games. I want to start talking to a girl without having to "pull back" to maintain interest., etc.

But yeah! Just a quick update. We'll see what happens. Thanks again guys.

Last edited by YesIWILL (6/27/2017 8:40 pm)

Interesting post.  I think that you have to work on the belief that they get fed up of you quickly. I've had limiting beliefs around a guy who treated me like rubbish when I was 18 and it rears its head occasionally when I really thought it had gone, and I still have to deal with it on occasion. It is more subconscious than head knowledge I think.

Though think about how you react with them - don't go OTT, buying presents and smothering at the start. Not that I am saying you do, but I have had guys do that to me and it makes me back off.