Amy wrote:

Can you tell me how your "routine" looked like..what you did?

Hi Amy, I did try Lanie's technique but it felt too "fake" and I stopped using it. As for my routine, I did visualize and write down affirmations but all of these techniques remind me that I don't have him so I stopped. I have to admit that when a friend would tell me that he's dating someone then I would stalk his and her profile and just get more upset. I stalked for a good while and obviously it only hurt me more so I stopped.

So lately, I have been busy with work. I was just scrolling on instagram and saw a picture that a college acquaintance posted. He's dating that girl's best friend and hence I saw the picture. Seeing things like this is very frustrating but I can't do anything about it. I need to ignore it and not pay attention to this because it will only give more energy to that unwanted relationship.

I told myself that it will be great if he comes back and if not then I'm not going to be upset. I can't do anything more than this.

Thank you for your help
 

holistichealing wrote:

Blessedck wrote:

Hello everyone!

I am one of the first people who joined this forum and I am very thankful to Veronica for creating this. However, I must be doing something wrong when using LOA because nothing has happened in the past 2 years rather I just found my ex is very serious with some girl.

I don't know what to make out of this. I wish it was easy to just let go and expect the best. I honestly think it might be easier for people who have some contact with their person. I have been blocked for the past 2 years. I don't know what else I could do.

Before leaving this forum, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has listened to me and supported my dreams. I wish the very best for all of you lovely people
 

Do as you wish, although I highly encourage you to read this book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Take some time to rebuild yourself and reach the place of knowing everything will be as you want it because it already exists inside you. This book will really have you see life in a different way.

 
Thank you, holistichealing. I will get that book

Blessedck wrote:

It's hard to explain but I think I really need to forget the idea of him. It would be great but I need to take care of myself and make myself my priority.

Funny you mention that. Last night I really wanted to say: no matter what happens, remember than you can be completely happy and have an amazing life - even without him...because it's true!. By holding onto the idea that you need him in order to be happy, you just keep yourself in misery. So giving up that idea can be the catalyst to real inner change. Giving up the struggle and fight can help you get yourself back. Which is worth it? Fighting for him and feeling bad all the time or having yourself back?

It's really hard to comment on threads like these...."Giving up" can actually be a great thing! It puts the focus on you and your life, releases resistance, releases attachment and fear, helps you get into a healthier mindset, and it frees you up to become the more attractive version of yourself....and so the specific person may start to like you again - this has been written about to the point of cliche.

But here's my dilemma: most people here want their ex back and they're gonna say stuff like "don't give up, always go for what you want, keep trying, keep believing, do this and that technique more often, blah blah blah..." They're stuck in certain mindset and culture ( a different vibration) where "giving up" sounds bad. So when a guy like me comes along who sees it differently because he's in a different place in life and says "give up"...people will think I'm the bad guy lol.

But if I try to be nice about it and tell you that "giving up" may attract that person back, give you that hope, you'll just treat it as another technique and pretend to give up when really you're holding onto the same attachments, holding onto the same fears and expectations from before.

So by being nice about things, I'm not helping you lol. I'd tell people to give up more often but then I'd be the big bad wolf on here lol, even though "giving up" is often that starting point where people release a lot of resistance and start to feel better. But people don't really listen much on here, they mostly want confirmation and for someone to tell them only what they want to hear. Sometimes people have to suffer a lot and crash and burn many times before they finally realize wisdom.

The thing about fear is that we become attached to these techniques because we're afraid. Would you be doing these techniques if you weren't scared about this? Something to think about. I think it's good to do some automatic journaling to see what your core issues are and what you're afraid of. When you figure that out, it makes things a lot easier.

When we give up, we're really giving up our fear and need to control everything to a higher aspect of ourselves to sort out, we just trust that it'll be taken care of in the most amazing way and we go on with our lives, doing what we can to make it amazing. We're moving on because you can't change or attract good things if you don't move on from the old vibration into the new positive one. And if that means moving on from your ex - giving up the idea of getting him back -  then so be it. You can't get him back by keeping yourself in fear and misery, give it up, move on from that, it's not fair to either of you. When you're overall in a much happier place, you'll get lots of intuition and insights on what's best for you.


 

Colonel Roosevelt wrote:

Blessedck wrote:

It's hard to explain but I think I really need to forget the idea of him. It would be great but I need to take care of myself and make myself my priority.

Funny you mention that. Last night I really wanted to say: no matter what happens, remember than you can be completely happy and have an amazing life - even without him...because it's true!. By holding onto the idea that you need him in order to be happy, you just keep yourself in misery. So giving up that idea can be the catalyst to real inner change. Giving up the struggle and fight can help you get yourself back. Which is worth it? Fighting for him and feeling bad all the time or having yourself back?

It's really hard to comment on threads like these...."Giving up" can actually be a great thing! It puts the focus on you and your life, releases resistance, releases attachment and fear, helps you get into a healthier mindset, and it frees you up to become the more attractive version of yourself....and so the specific person may start to like you again - this has been written about to the point of cliche.

But here's my dilemma: most people here want their ex back and they're gonna say stuff like "don't give up, always go for what you want, keep trying, keep believing, do this and that technique more often, blah blah blah..." They're stuck in certain mindset and culture ( a different vibration) where "giving up" sounds bad. So when a guy like me comes along who sees it differently because he's in a different place in life and says "give up"...people will think I'm the bad guy lol.

But if I try to be nice about it and tell you that "giving up" may attract that person back, give you that hope, you'll just treat it as another technique and pretend to give up when really you're holding onto the same attachments, holding onto the same fears and expectations from before.

So by being nice about things, I'm not helping you lol. I'd tell people to give up more often but then I'd be the big bad wolf on here lol, even though "giving up" is often that starting point where people release a lot of resistance and start to feel better. But people don't really listen much on here, they mostly want confirmation and for someone to tell them only what they want to hear. Sometimes people have to suffer a lot and crash and burn many times before they finally realize wisdom.

The thing about fear is that we become attached to these techniques because we're afraid. Would you be doing these techniques if you weren't scared about this? Something to think about. I think it's good to do some automatic journaling to see what your core issues are and what you're afraid of. When you figure that out, it makes things a lot easier.

When we give up, we're really giving up our fear and need to control everything to a higher aspect of ourselves to sort out, we just trust that it'll be taken care of in the most amazing way and we go on with our lives, doing what we can to make it amazing. We're moving on because you can't change or attract good things if you don't move on from the old vibration into the new positive one. And if that means moving on from your ex - giving up the idea of getting him back -  then so be it. You can't get him back by keeping yourself in fear and misery, give it up, move on from that, it's not fair to either of you. When you're overall in a much happier place, you'll get lots of intuition and insights on what's best for you.
 

Brilliant! Loved reading that. If more people would take that seriously, we had much more happy people here.

Blessedck wrote:

Hi Colonel, thank you so much for writing that. I completely agree with you. I don't think you're the bad guy. Rather, you're stating what most people are doing. I have used giving up as a "technique" and obviously it didn't work because I was just lying to myself. That is why I have decided that yes it would be great if he comes back but it's also perfectly fine if he doesn't. My ultimate goal is to be happy and depend on a guy for that happiness. Thank you for awesome advice

LOL