YesIWILL wrote:

Dan2015 wrote:

you really need to focus on fixing your anxiety and depression, before you think about bringing her back. Focus on those two things first. If you don't fix those things first, you won't ever get her back and I hate to say it

I honestly want to know, if she never comes back. What would you do with life? Would you just be miserable until the day you leave this earth?

If someone who's never been on this forum, stumbled onto this thread. They would think you were pathetic. Being in this much pain because of a girl?

I understand. People will be in pain when it comes to love. And cry over guys or girls

But Look at all the bad thing in this world. There's people who get killed for no reason. There's homeless people. There's sick people. Theres people starving. There's people who have had to deal with war their whole life. Look at people In Syria who got gassed a few weeks ago and been at war for years


You might not have it perfectly. I mean who does?(besides maybe "the 1 percent and even they have problems). But you have things, that people would die for. You don't have to worry about your government using chemical weapons on you


You said. You have a great job. And a cool new house. Just think about how many people in this world would die to have a place to stay

Start showing more gratitude for the things you have. Stop stressing over things you don't have, and let it come to you

To the first part, I've been trying to work through it. Medication hasn't helped and I've tried all sorts of things. Therapy hasn't helped. I honestly don't see myself getting out of this situation as long as she's gone. I really have tried, and have been trying SO hard.

And to that second part, ever fiber of my being wants to say "no way!" or "I'm sure I'll be happy without her eventually", but if I'm going to be honest, then no... I won't be happy without her. I'll be miserable. Time won't change that. If she stays out of my life for good, I don't know how I'd cope. I HATE that answer, but it's the honest one. I mean, I love myself, I'm grateful for everything I've got, and my family, but it's just... not the same without her. I feel like I've lost everything. 

And yeah, I honestly don't care what others would think about me. i'm not saying that to sound rebellious - as I know text can be misleading over the internet - I just honestly, really don't care if people here look at me that way.

I've been homeless for a time. I'd be okay with that if it meant being with her. Sad, I know...I mean, she wouldn't want that, of course, nor would she want to be with someone who's homeless, however, just in that black-and-white example, I mean it. 


I actually have journal I write my gratitude in every single day. I miss one or two days here and there, but I've been pretty consistent. I haven't noticed really any change heh.

Look...
I hate coming coming on here and just retyping how much pain I'm in and how much it hurts. And I'm sorry. I just don't know how to stop the pain, and it's overwhelming. I feel like the only way for me to feel better is to be back with her - I know LoA teachers say you have to be happy first, but I've honestly tried... I literally can't.

I've tried dating others, I've tried giving up, and I can't do it. I can't. She's my world. 

Fixing any depression or anxiety issue, I don't think, will fix this. I've been working hard at fixing those things. But the pain from this, and the NEED (no matter how much I want it to be just a "want"...) for it will still be there

I don't want to go home and drink and sleep anymore. I just can't stand being awake!!

There's gotta be something I can do to bring her back. There has to be!! It's the only option. There has to be a way, there's just gotta be! 

... Man, I can't feel like this anymore. I can't do it, and I can't take it. I'm so tired and exhausted from crying all the time and not wanting to be awake. I'm so tired and hurt, I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore, and it's like there's no way out

I just want things to be how they used to be. I don't want to feel like this anymore!! I just want her back. And I can't see that happening and it breaks my heart.

I don't mean this in a horrible way, but everything you have written here is why you are not getting her back. You do not love yourself otherwise you would be happy. You are contradicting what you are saying. If you have depression and anxiety your first and foremost priority should be healing yourself. Sorry to be harsh but, she is not your happiness, she will never be your happiness. If you got her back and you are in the same state of mind which you are now you will still have that massive hole in your heart and you still wont be happy.

I know you won't listen to this and just say its not nice and rude, etc. You will say what you have said to others that unless it is kind you shouldn't reply. But EVERY post of yours gets the most attention and most advice that you are not listening too. You are not taking anything in. You are not dealing with your problems and not healing. By the sounds of it all you do is dwell on the fact that this girl isn't in your life. Yes it hurts, yes it is very painful, but every single one of us has gone through a heart break and its made us very depressed. We get on with it, we learn to make ourselves happy. That is what you do. I have had depression and suffer immensely from anxiety. Bringing my guy back won't change that? Nor will this girl! She isn't going to fill the void you feel within yourself.

You need to discipline your mind and take control. You say you can't but I know many people who have depression and anxiety and they have done it too. Stop making it your excuse and start dominating it!!! I know exactly how hard it is, I tried to commit suicide a few years back, that is how bad I got. But no one, especially a boyfriend or person I want will change or fix that. IT HAS TO COME FROM YOU.   

How can you say you love yourself when you cannot be happy with out this person? You rely on this forum and her to make you happy. That is not self love. Everyone has off day's, anxiety, some sort of issue. I don't know how old your are or what has gone on in your life, your upbringing and your beliefs. But you have written in this forum many time to show everyone that you are still dwelling, still attached, and won't do anything about it. 

And the ironic thing is, you already know all of this! So put it to practice. This girl will not come back and not make you happy if you do not find a way to make yourself happy. And also, if you loved her that much then all you would want is for her to be happy! That is what unconditional love it! Loving without conditions!! Let her be happy, let yourself be happy! You owe it to yourself to be happy and heal!! The pain you feel every day is what most of the population feel too. You are not alone in this. The more you play the victim the more victimized circumstances will happen to you. I am sorry if this didn't make sense but it is so frustrating when you have all the help in front of you and you refuse to make a change in yourself.  

"... Man, I can't feel like this anymore. I can't do it, and I can't take it. I'm so tired and exhausted from crying all the time and not wanting to be awake. I'm so tired and hurt, I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore, and it's like there's no way out " - Then stop!! Stop burning yourself out with it all, let it be and get on with your life and find a way to make yourself happy!! If you don't have your mental health, you will have nothing!!! When are you going to understand that this all comes from you and your state of mind and well being????  

I am sorry again if this has come across as harsh but its just not getting through to you that the only person who can make you happy is yourself. She doesn't want that responsibility of your happiness, no one wants that responsibility of someone else's happiness! Do you know how much pressure that is on a person?! You need to lay this to bed for a while on focus on yourself, stop worrying who she is with, who she is dating, what she is doing. It doesn't matter in the bigger picture! 

I really do hope you learn from what everyone is saying, and that you find a way to bring yourself out of this black hole. Depression and anxiety is an ugly disease but only you can heal that, she can't do that for you. 

YesIWILL wrote:

Thanks meg. I appreciate the input. I know you're just trying to help, and it means a lot.


How do I live in my imagination and ignore reality? I think that's how I'd be happiest...

For ignoring reality, watch this! It's a great video and helped me very much with mastering how the art of doing so! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PLw5ki6XezM

Meg2222 wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

Dan2015 wrote:

you really need to focus on fixing your anxiety and depression, before you think about bringing her back. Focus on those two things first. If you don't fix those things first, you won't ever get her back and I hate to say it

I honestly want to know, if she never comes back. What would you do with life? Would you just be miserable until the day you leave this earth?

If someone who's never been on this forum, stumbled onto this thread. They would think you were pathetic. Being in this much pain because of a girl?

I understand. People will be in pain when it comes to love. And cry over guys or girls

But Look at all the bad thing in this world. There's people who get killed for no reason. There's homeless people. There's sick people. Theres people starving. There's people who have had to deal with war their whole life. Look at people In Syria who got gassed a few weeks ago and been at war for years


You might not have it perfectly. I mean who does?(besides maybe "the 1 percent and even they have problems). But you have things, that people would die for. You don't have to worry about your government using chemical weapons on you


You said. You have a great job. And a cool new house. Just think about how many people in this world would die to have a place to stay

Start showing more gratitude for the things you have. Stop stressing over things you don't have, and let it come to you

To the first part, I've been trying to work through it. Medication hasn't helped and I've tried all sorts of things. Therapy hasn't helped. I honestly don't see myself getting out of this situation as long as she's gone. I really have tried, and have been trying SO hard.

And to that second part, ever fiber of my being wants to say "no way!" or "I'm sure I'll be happy without her eventually", but if I'm going to be honest, then no... I won't be happy without her. I'll be miserable. Time won't change that. If she stays out of my life for good, I don't know how I'd cope. I HATE that answer, but it's the honest one. I mean, I love myself, I'm grateful for everything I've got, and my family, but it's just... not the same without her. I feel like I've lost everything. 

And yeah, I honestly don't care what others would think about me. i'm not saying that to sound rebellious - as I know text can be misleading over the internet - I just honestly, really don't care if people here look at me that way.

I've been homeless for a time. I'd be okay with that if it meant being with her. Sad, I know...I mean, she wouldn't want that, of course, nor would she want to be with someone who's homeless, however, just in that black-and-white example, I mean it. 


I actually have journal I write my gratitude in every single day. I miss one or two days here and there, but I've been pretty consistent. I haven't noticed really any change heh.

Look...
I hate coming coming on here and just retyping how much pain I'm in and how much it hurts. And I'm sorry. I just don't know how to stop the pain, and it's overwhelming. I feel like the only way for me to feel better is to be back with her - I know LoA teachers say you have to be happy first, but I've honestly tried... I literally can't.

I've tried dating others, I've tried giving up, and I can't do it. I can't. She's my world. 

Fixing any depression or anxiety issue, I don't think, will fix this. I've been working hard at fixing those things. But the pain from this, and the NEED (no matter how much I want it to be just a "want"...) for it will still be there

I don't want to go home and drink and sleep anymore. I just can't stand being awake!!

There's gotta be something I can do to bring her back. There has to be!! It's the only option. There has to be a way, there's just gotta be! 

... Man, I can't feel like this anymore. I can't do it, and I can't take it. I'm so tired and exhausted from crying all the time and not wanting to be awake. I'm so tired and hurt, I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore, and it's like there's no way out

I just want things to be how they used to be. I don't want to feel like this anymore!! I just want her back. And I can't see that happening and it breaks my heart.

I don't mean this in a horrible way, but everything you have written here is why you are not getting her back. You do not love yourself otherwise you would be happy. You are contradicting what you are saying. If you have depression and anxiety your first and foremost priority should be healing yourself. Sorry to be harsh but, she is not your happiness, she will never be your happiness. If you got her back and you are in the same state of mind which you are now you will still have that massive hole in your heart and you still wont be happy.

I know you won't listen to this and just say its not nice and rude, etc. You will say what you have said to others that unless it is kind you shouldn't reply. But EVERY post of yours gets the most attention and most advice that you are not listening too. You are not taking anything in. You are not dealing with your problems and not healing. By the sounds of it all you do is dwell on the fact that this girl isn't in your life. Yes it hurts, yes it is very painful, but every single one of us has gone through a heart break and its made us very depressed. We get on with it, we learn to make ourselves happy. That is what you do. I have had depression and suffer immensely from anxiety. Bringing my guy back won't change that? Nor will this girl! She isn't going to fill the void you feel within yourself.

You need to discipline your mind and take control. You say you can't but I know many people who have depression and anxiety and they have done it too. Stop making it your excuse and start dominating it!!! I know exactly how hard it is, I tried to commit suicide a few years back, that is how bad I got. But no one, especially a boyfriend or person I want will change or fix that. IT HAS TO COME FROM YOU.   

How can you say you love yourself when you cannot be happy with out this person? You rely on this forum and her to make you happy. That is not self love. Everyone has off day's, anxiety, some sort of issue. I don't know how old your are or what has gone on in your life, your upbringing and your beliefs. But you have written in this forum many time to show everyone that you are still dwelling, still attached, and won't do anything about it. 

And the ironic thing is, you already know all of this! So put it to practice. This girl will not come back and not make you happy if you do not find a way to make yourself happy. And also, if you loved her that much then all you would want is for her to be happy! That is what unconditional love it! Loving without conditions!! Let her be happy, let yourself be happy! You owe it to yourself to be happy and heal!! The pain you feel every day is what most of the population feel too. You are not alone in this. The more you play the victim the more victimized circumstances will happen to you. I am sorry if this didn't make sense but it is so frustrating when you have all the help in front of you and you refuse to make a change in yourself.  

"... Man, I can't feel like this anymore. I can't do it, and I can't take it. I'm so tired and exhausted from crying all the time and not wanting to be awake. I'm so tired and hurt, I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore, and it's like there's no way out " - Then stop!! Stop burning yourself out with it all, let it be and get on with your life and find a way to make yourself happy!! If you don't have your mental health, you will have nothing!!! When are you going to understand that this all comes from you and your state of mind and well being????  

I am sorry again if this has come across as harsh but its just not getting through to you that the only person who can make you happy is yourself. She doesn't want that responsibility of your happiness, no one wants that responsibility of someone else's happiness! Do you know how much pressure that is on a person?! You need to lay this to bed for a while on focus on yourself, stop worrying who she is with, who she is dating, what she is doing. It doesn't matter in the bigger picture! 

I really do hope you learn from what everyone is saying, and that you find a way to bring yourself out of this black hole. Depression and anxiety is an ugly disease but only you can heal that, she can't do that for you. 

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 i have no words. Preach 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Cutiepie wrote:

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 i have no words. Preach 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Not sure what you mean?

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Cutiepie wrote:

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 i have no words. Preach 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Not sure what you mean?

Hahah sorry, it means that i second that