I remember when my love first brokeup with me.   I was a complete mess.  Probably as bad as you.  I would be ok when I was busy.  But when I wasn't.  I would be sooooo depressed. And had so much anxiety.  It would be to the point where I only left my house/room if I really had to    I would stop exercising.  Stop having fun etc.   I basically searched the whole internet looking for "how to get ex back".


I use to feel so weird going to bed and just anything in general.  So much anxiety.  So sad.  Etc.     I would tell myself that we'd get back together.  But at that time, I honestly didn't even believe it    So it made things worse. 

Idk how things happened for you, but the first week or so after the breakup(maybe 3 weeks).  We would rarely text.  But we'd talk on the phone for like 4-6 hours a day     Dude.  I remember one time.  I was taking a walk.  Waiting for her to call me back.  And it was warm out.  So like my phone got sweaty and it like wouldn't work(I didn't have an otter box)    I was sitting at this bench. Almost crying. Being so panicky cause I was thinking, what if I couldn't answer if she called back

Then I remembered, it was like mid September of 2015    And that. Thursday.  Friday.  Saturday Sunday.  She didnt talk to me at all.   Wouldn't text me back.  Wouldn't answer my calls. Etc      That Monday.  She was like.  "I don't think we should talk as much as we do.  We need to start acting like friends.    We talk every day. It's almost like we're still together".    I knew it was because a guy and it turned out to be(they didn't last long at all)

I think we talked a few times that Tuesday and Wednesday.   But after that we didn't talk for weeks.     Actually.  If I remember correctly.   We didn't talk that whole October for the most part,  dude.  I was so depressed.   My anxiety was on another level.  I was going crazy.   

Then.  I found Veronica's forum     If you look at my old posts.  I was a lot like you.    The funny thing is.  A few days after.  We got back into contact.  Things started out great.  We were talking a lot.  She even said we should talk on the phone when she had time(I honestly think most girls don't talk to a guy on the phone.  Unless if they are really close.  Or she likes him).    The whole time.  On this forum.  I would make posts about.  "She hasn't stopped talking". Etc etc. but in the back of my mind I thought she would go m I a again. And of course she did.   This was like around thanksgiving of 2015.  About a week later.  She ended up getting with the guy she's still with now


I was ******* devastated.  Felt like someone ripped my heart out       At that point.  I was so deorsssed.  Had so much anxiety.   And really started thinking we'd never get back together.  Which at the time sucked.  Because I didn't want anyone else.   

I took a little break from the forum   And around Christmas time.  We started becoming close friends.  Which was cool.  But wasn't what I wanted.  So I still felt eh.    This stayed like that.  With us talking at least a few times a week up until like may of last year

It was like a bandaid fixed.  It wasn't what I wanted, but I thought. Hey at least we talked.  So it made me content.  But I realized I wasn't really "healed".    It was just like a temporary fix


Then.  We didn't talk from like May or June.  Up until late August.    I felt horrible around that time.     Then we talked every few days. Up until like 9/11.  Then from like a few days after 9/11 up until  March.  We didn't talk at all.  It felt like a whole new wound opened.  I realized I never healed

We talked for like one day last month and haven't talked since.  But I feel great lately.  Don't feel sad. Etc.   and I'm really believing we'll get back together

From last May.  Up until today. We've literally probably talked 10 times.  It Sucks.  But I've gotten so much better


I'm sorry for all this.   But.  You can do it man. You just have to really start believing.   That's your biggest obstacle.  Once you start believing.  Everything will get so much better

Sanshi wrote:

I honestly don't understand why people even take the time to reply to you.This thread isn't so different than the ones you started one year ago. ONE YEAR! 365 days! People told you the same stuff they are telling you now and you haven't been able to take it a year ago and you aren't able to take it now. I told you the ONLY way to feel better in my first post which you completely ignored. It's okay that everyone has their own speed in learning things, but you move backwards or not at all and for me, it looks like you just aren't willing to take the advice. You seem to kinda enjoy your misery and the attention you get from people. You think that you need her back to be happy and that haven't changed in a year. She wants a man and not a pathetic crybaby. Pull yourself together and come to terms with the fact that you probably won't ever get her back.

 

Thank you for thsi cause sometimes I too have feelings like missing her and stuff even though I have seen great progress on my self.still need work and I don't mind one thing I have learned is that we have to love our selves before anyone else loves us...sometimes people really need a "slap" in their face cause we don't always get things when someone speaks to us with kindness and understanding....

And the fact is that there is no person in this world that simply isn't able to find even one thing to be grateful for in their lives....
Be grateful and things will get better and better.

Btw theres a difference of having a bad day and a huge difference of being miserable all the time...

I have been there lots of us have been but decided that enough is enough....

Most people here reach out to you me or any other member to help....there must be something you have learned....

Believe and if you don't then just fake it till you make it.

Sanshi wrote:

I honestly don't understand why people even take the time to reply to you.This thread isn't so different than the ones you started one year ago. ONE YEAR! 365 days! People told you the same stuff they are telling you now and you haven't been able to take it a year ago and you aren't able to take it now. I told you the ONLY way to feel better in my first post which you completely ignored. It's okay that everyone has their own speed in learning things, but you move backwards or not at all and for me, it looks like you just aren't willing to take the advice. You seem to kinda enjoy your misery and the attention you get from people. You think that you need her back to be happy and that haven't changed in a year. She wants a man and not a pathetic crybaby. Pull yourself together and come to terms with the fact that you probably won't ever get her back.

This kind of reply isn't really necessary, and frankly, it's very rude. I have not ignored it. I'm having trouble finding the way to STAY in a positive state. I don't know how to get there. 
Look, I have nobody else to turn to, and I'm hoping somebody will say SOMETHING that will click with me. I cannot help feeling that I need her to be happy. I can't help feeling that how I feel, is how I feel. You shouldn't get angry at someone for feeling a certain way. It'd be better if you just didn't reply at all, verses replying with something like this. I don't know why you think being harsh is helpful, but it's really... really not. Especially when I'm feeling like this. I have to find a way to stay positive and to break through this. Unfortunately, I haven't found that way yet. Either reply with kindness or don't reply at all. Easy. I need to say I woke up today feeling like ****, and this just kind of put me infinitely lower. Sometimes, when people are down, the last thing they need is for someone to talk to them like this. Just a word of advice, next time you think you're helping someone by replying in such a way. Because thanks to you, I'm feeling worse now. 

creator1980 wrote:

Sanshi wrote:

I honestly don't understand why people even take the time to reply to you.This thread isn't so different than the ones you started one year ago. ONE YEAR! 365 days! People told you the same stuff they are telling you now and you haven't been able to take it a year ago and you aren't able to take it now. I told you the ONLY way to feel better in my first post which you completely ignored. It's okay that everyone has their own speed in learning things, but you move backwards or not at all and for me, it looks like you just aren't willing to take the advice. You seem to kinda enjoy your misery and the attention you get from people. You think that you need her back to be happy and that haven't changed in a year. She wants a man and not a pathetic crybaby. Pull yourself together and come to terms with the fact that you probably won't ever get her back.

 

Thank you for thsi cause sometimes I too have feelings like missing her and stuff even though I have seen great progress on my self.still need work and I don't mind one thing I have learned is that we have to love our selves before anyone else loves us...sometimes people really need a "slap" in their face cause we don't always get things when someone speaks to us with kindness and understanding....

And the fact is that there is no person in this world that simply isn't able to find even one thing to be grateful for in their lives....
Be grateful and things will get better and better.

Btw theres a difference of having a bad day and a huge difference of being miserable all the time...

I have been there lots of us have been but decided that enough is enough....

Most people here reach out to you me or any other member to help....there must be something you have learned....

Believe and if you don't then just fake it till you make it.

"sometimes people really need a "slap" in their face cause we don't always get things when someone speaks to us with kindness and understanding...."

This is what a lot of people think, but psychologically has been proven to have negative results and simply make things worse. You should ALWAYS be kind, or not reply at all. It's like spanking a child. That child is more apt to become violent. The last thing someone who's really struggling needs is someone speaking in such a way. 

Bakc on topic, I've learned things, sure. I just don't know how to get to the step where I can apply them. I can't help feeling bad in this moment. I need to actually feel better before I tyr to manifest. I simply do not know how to get there. I've been struggling with this pain for a while, and I don't know how to get it to 'pass' to where I can feel healed and start the techniques with happiness.

I really appreciate your help, thank you.

Thelawoflove wrote:

You keep saying "it doesn't work" therefore it won't! Look at what you're saying. Youre focusing upon all the negative, and that's all you'll get. It's very simple. You get what you give. You make the decision. It's only hard if you chose to say that. You chose your thoughts, nobody else. Just think of something you're greatful for and through Loa the gratitude will increase. For example, I know you DO have something to be greatful for, one could be all these people helping you! That's something to be greatful for. There are many who care.

That's just the thing. Reality is pushed into my face so strongly, and every bit of logic is shouting that she's not coming back to me. How am I supposed to genuinely feel better so that I can manifest her back? I just can't reach that point that bridges me from negative, to feeling happy on my own. That's what I need help with. 

Thelawoflove wrote:

It's simple; no one can help you but yourself. These people are helping you, and not at all being unkind as they have done a lot, words do not teach, as you are a great example of this (at the moment). You must find it internally, it is the only way you will find it, you can keep searching externally which you are, and as you can see, it does not work. You can perceive them as being unkind, but that just reflects your perspective, not theirs.

They have done a lot and I'm grateful. But that doesn't mean being harsh is alright. Especially with someone in such a state as I am. 

And that's  just the thing. I don't know how to get there. I don't know how to live fully from the end, or live within my imagination. I don't know how to stay positive about this and the fact that she'll return, etc. I know the "what's", as I've been told many times, I just don't know the "how's" in the respect in which how I'd get from where I am now, to happy on my own, believing she'll be back.

But you see, they are not being harsh at all. It is easy to see through your current mindset why you would perceive it that way and you do know how to. You know that you know. You've done it before, you can do it again. I've seen you post positive posts, on how you are restarting. You know exactly what to do. Just follow your inner guidance. That is all. You must make a change to get a change.

Last edited by Thelawoflove (4/17/2017 11:26 am)