Hello, I'm new here, but I just wanted to add my two cents.

Man, you're giving all of your power away, and you firmly believe that other people are in control of your happiness, and with that believe you're simply not going to make the Universal Laws work in your favor.

I suggest you should step back for a bit. Stop visualizing your partner and start visualizing yourself happy. You can visit coach Agnes Vivarelli on YouTube and do her Self-Love meditations: 

Now, circumstances don't matter. Circumstances, including how people react to you, are a result of your inner world, so your most important task is taking care of the relationship with yourself.

Be happy, focus on yourself. Focus on your work, on your studies, on your hobbies, on your friends, on your families, meditate self-love, and get rid of your limiting beliefs trough guided meditations as well. 

After you do this for a couple of days, you will need to start forgiving your partner for whatever you think she did to you. And she did not, people only react to your inner world, remember that. It means you'll need to forgive yourself.

After you do all of these and find yourself in a place where you have truly forgiven her and yourself, and in a place where you are at least somehow happy with what you've got, start your visualization practices.

My advice for you to find happiness is waking up every day and set an intention: "Today is going to be a great day, I'm going to do these and that..."

And, before you go to sleep, you start thinking about everything that makes you happy, everything that you feel grateful for.

Happiness comes from within, not from others. And happiness doesn't depend on other people's behaviors towards you, only on your relationship with yourself.

I hope you can understand.

Also, you can try reading "The Power of Now" by Eckard Tolley. It will teach you how to silence your ego, that inner voice in your head that keeps adding negative meanings to everything. 
 

All of the stuff she said to you were a result of your inner world. You were probably feeling unworthy, undeserving, unsufficient,...Don't just ignore it, forgive it: forgive you for giving her an unlovely script with your thoughts that pushed her away, and forgive her for hurting your feelings. 

And no, it doesn't matter anymore. Control your inner world, that's more than enough. And if you think of her, do it from a place of joy, happiness, and expectation.

And thank you!

Dan2015 wrote:

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

Trying hard to stay positive. Why is this difficult?

Possibly because you are focusing on this woman instead of on you, finding reasons to contact her, thinking of how to get into a relationship with her again, worrying what she thinks, all the same stuff.

Although to stay positive, you have to be positive in the first place, and focusing on her will not allow you to do that.  I would guess that what you will really have to do, to stay positive as you put it, is work with whoever you have been seeing (doctors etc that you mentioned back in the thread) and really, really do not focus on her one little bit. Yes I know it's probably difficult. 

You really do have to let go of worrying and obsessing about her because all this is about you. That's why I brought up the content of some of your old posts, because you showed the same traits in those as you are doing now over a different person, which suggests it's you that needs the attention and focus, not the other person.

Stuff her. Who cares what she is doing?  It wouldn't matter in the long run anyway. Why should you care what she thinks or does, if you think she doesn't give a stuff about you?  Life is too short to waste it on people who don't care about you. Though I secretly think that she secretly likes the attention from you in a strange way and if it stopped, she would wonder about why. Us women are a bit like that. But you're not giving her that chance, you're in touch with her for any reason you can think of.  

Contacting her will only make it worse and give her an opportunity to view you as a pain in the bum. Stepping back will make her wonder.  

I also wonder how she would find out about what you are doing without you contacting her. Do you go to places she goes, share friends, live close by, work nearby, anything like that? She could snoop on your Facebook page, I suppose. Make her wonder and make her bloody well work, you are putting her on a pedestal, all she is is a normal woman. 

I really would like you to think about what you expect to get from contacting her. It's been a while since you broke up with her, and it's not logical that a call from you or a text is going to produce instant "I miss you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, let's get back to how it was" (or whatever happened, I don't know the circumstances of your split).  That will take a while. 

She needs time to reflect, to think about you, and to miss you. She also needs to see that you are DIFFERENT. 

I could be entirely wrong, of course, and I stand to be corrected. 

It seems funny. I use to have the same issues and I can't lie, at times I still do. Until I remind myself. For me, it was the insecurity that people will end up leaving my life. And if I'll ever talk to them again. I wonder if he deals with the same insecurity about people he loving staying gone


I use to think. That the best way to get people to contact you or stay in touch. Was to stay in sight. But I've realized. Actually letting go of them and giving them space is the most likely way to get people to come back


Also, yesiwill. I don't want to assume anything. But when you go to doctors. Do they say anything about possibly having attachment issues? I think there's actually a disorder of that

Maybe I do in some way! However, since taking meds, I'm feeling a lot better! Worrying less! 

And about the "having to stay in contact to stay in sight", that is exactly how I feel! 

And that's alright! I don't think I have attachment issues, no. But definitely anxiety in some way! I'm feeling a lot better now!

@Avaelle, You're 100% right, thank you so much!! And yes I have, thank you! I've been meditating, been seeing my psychiatrist, been focusing on myself, enjoying my apartment, and trying to be thankful. I gotta say, the medicine is helping a lot! So I'm really thankful for that! Thank you!

@Lolo, welcome to the board! Your post helped me more than you can imagine! Thank you so much It really brought up my mood this afternoon while I was at work! Thank you!!

@PF You're completely right. She needs to see a new me. I guess I was fearful that if I were to not contact her, she'd forget me. Kind of like what Dan said. Thank you so much!!

@creator1980, Thank you so much for the link!!



So guys, I've been feeling amazing today! You would not believe what happened... I was at work... I saw someone who dresses EXACTLY like her. Same height, same body dimensions, skin tone, unique clothing style, it was INSANE. I mean EXACTLY like her. I walked around kind of toward her, really thought it was her. Then I saw her face. But DAMN it was almost an exact match. Like, it's not just "oh she looks really similar." It was literally a 99% match in every single way. It was CRAZY.

I'm sure I manifested that, and it's a sign that I'm on the right track!
 

YesIWILL wrote:

Dan2015 wrote:

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Possibly because you are focusing on this woman instead of on you, finding reasons to contact her, thinking of how to get into a relationship with her again, worrying what she thinks, all the same stuff.

Although to stay positive, you have to be positive in the first place, and focusing on her will not allow you to do that.  I would guess that what you will really have to do, to stay positive as you put it, is work with whoever you have been seeing (doctors etc that you mentioned back in the thread) and really, really do not focus on her one little bit. Yes I know it's probably difficult. 

You really do have to let go of worrying and obsessing about her because all this is about you. That's why I brought up the content of some of your old posts, because you showed the same traits in those as you are doing now over a different person, which suggests it's you that needs the attention and focus, not the other person.

Stuff her. Who cares what she is doing?  It wouldn't matter in the long run anyway. Why should you care what she thinks or does, if you think she doesn't give a stuff about you?  Life is too short to waste it on people who don't care about you. Though I secretly think that she secretly likes the attention from you in a strange way and if it stopped, she would wonder about why. Us women are a bit like that. But you're not giving her that chance, you're in touch with her for any reason you can think of.  

Contacting her will only make it worse and give her an opportunity to view you as a pain in the bum. Stepping back will make her wonder.  

I also wonder how she would find out about what you are doing without you contacting her. Do you go to places she goes, share friends, live close by, work nearby, anything like that? She could snoop on your Facebook page, I suppose. Make her wonder and make her bloody well work, you are putting her on a pedestal, all she is is a normal woman. 

I really would like you to think about what you expect to get from contacting her. It's been a while since you broke up with her, and it's not logical that a call from you or a text is going to produce instant "I miss you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, let's get back to how it was" (or whatever happened, I don't know the circumstances of your split).  That will take a while. 

She needs time to reflect, to think about you, and to miss you. She also needs to see that you are DIFFERENT. 

I could be entirely wrong, of course, and I stand to be corrected. 

It seems funny. I use to have the same issues and I can't lie, at times I still do. Until I remind myself. For me, it was the insecurity that people will end up leaving my life. And if I'll ever talk to them again. I wonder if he deals with the same insecurity about people he loving staying gone


I use to think. That the best way to get people to contact you or stay in touch. Was to stay in sight. But I've realized. Actually letting go of them and giving them space is the most likely way to get people to come back


Also, yesiwill. I don't want to assume anything. But when you go to doctors. Do they say anything about possibly having attachment issues? I think there's actually a disorder of that

Maybe I do in some way! However, since taking meds, I'm feeling a lot better! Worrying less! 

And about the "having to stay in contact to stay in sight", that is exactly how I feel! 

And that's alright! I don't think I have attachment issues, no. But definitely anxiety in some way! I'm feeling a lot better now!

@Avaelle, You're 100% right, thank you so much!! And yes I have, thank you! I've been meditating, been seeing my psychiatrist, been focusing on myself, enjoying my apartment, and trying to be thankful. I gotta say, the medicine is helping a lot! So I'm really thankful for that! Thank you!

@Lolo, welcome to the board! Your post helped me more than you can imagine! Thank you so much It really brought up my mood this afternoon while I was at work! Thank you!!

@PF You're completely right. She needs to see a new me. I guess I was fearful that if I were to not contact her, she'd forget me. Kind of like what Dan said. Thank you so much!!

@creator1980, Thank you so much for the link!!



So guys, I've been feeling amazing today! You would not believe what happened... I was at work... I saw someone who dresses EXACTLY like her. Same height, same body dimensions, skin tone, unique clothing style, it was INSANE. I mean EXACTLY like her. I walked around kind of toward her, really thought it was her. Then I saw her face. But DAMN it was almost an exact match. Like, it's not just "oh she looks really similar." It was literally a 99% match in every single way. It was CRAZY.

I'm sure I manifested that, and it's a sign that I'm on the right track!
 

Meds are great. Sometimes it's just what a person needs to get a boost.

I've been looking for Law of Attraction Meetups and will be checking one facility out this weekend. I think this is something you should look into.

A reason you've been here so long and are going in circles is because this material isn't working for YOU. It all sounds good and even makes you feel good briefly but how much progress are you making? Not just for you, but others. Multiple people have admitted that the things they post isn't producing results for even themselves.

How are you going to convince yourself that you can shift realities when you can't convince yourself that her family doesn't hate you?

I've come to care for you because I can feel what you're going through. It is time for you to stop feeling this pain.  You deserve so much more than to get your hopes up and being deceived.

I want you smiling and feeling good. Please look into those meetup. It will be great for you to meet real people that can advise and support you, be your friend and encourage you.

I'm always here to chat with.

Last edited by Avaelle (5/03/2017 6:05 am)