I think if someone in an abusive relationship changes themselves they see their own value, realise they deserve better and end it.

For me, there are two options. Either LoA is complete bullshit, or it isn't picky and works in every regards. My experience is that it is real, so I can only choose option B. Everytime I read a topic like this, I see people completely ignoring their guidance and arguing for their limitations which is a valid decision btw.

First of all, you never know what other people think, so there is no point in analysing other people in bad relationships. Second problem is that most people don't even know their own thoughts. How aware were you of your thoughts and emotions when the thing with your bf happened? And it's so much more than just your thoughts about that person. You have beliefs about men, beliefs about the type of person he is, you believe that some people just are cheaters or assholes or whatever. The last example means that you believe that something can occur with a certain probability. Lets talk about car accidents for a moment. Do you think they are possible? Yes, sure. Do you think they can happen to you? Unless you never leave the building, probably yes. You think that this are rational facts, but they are just beliefs. A car accident can't happen to you unless you don't believe that it can. LoA doesn't make exceptions. There is nothing written in stone.

You mentioned mentally ill people. Well, they can't come in your life until you have a vibration going on that allows them to come. But lets say you have such a person in your life...what does nearly 100% of the people do? They see them as sick, they look at their behaviour, they judge their behaviour, they feel bad about their behaviour and by doing all this things, attract more of that behaviour. Have you ever looked at a person whose behaviour you didn't like and saw a wonderful human being behaving exactly the way you wanted them to behave and did you persist with that? If not, you have never even tried to use LoA to change a person. And if not, how can you say that there are random factors in it that are not guided by LoA?

One last thought about the title of this thread. What does guilt mean? Guilt is an emotion that doesn't feel so good. This means that our Inner Being sees it differently. So you have two options here. You can argue for your limitations or you can change your perspective, so that it gets closer to the perspective of your Inner Being. Recently, I attracted someone in my life who got a psychological label. The moment I found out, I was completely shocked and my social programming kicked in. I judged him for what people say he is. But that didn't feel good and I adjusted my perspective bit by bit until it felt better and better. I decided that I want to see him as perfectly normal, beautiful, loving soul. I know that I am the only person who can hurt me, nobody else can. It's my thoughts that hurt me, no words or actions of others. I am still in the beginning of that experience, so the only thing I can tell about it is that it's damn hard to maintain my focus. The thoughts about "how it is" pop up again and again. So, it's no easy thing to do, but just because it's hard I am not willing to accept some random factors outside of myself that run my life. I agree that it is sometimes better/easier to walk away. But that doesn't mean that you couldn't change things with the right focus.

Last edited by Sanshi (4/04/2017 6:32 am)

LoA says that you are the creator of your reality, that's it. The others are in your reality, so logic would suggest that you are changing the behaviour of others, right? The problem you are having here is that you try to integrate LoA into your old view of the world and that doesn't work, because the world isn't solid and logical as you have always thought. So don't try to base LoA on false premises.

Is it good to change other people? Well, you create the other person anyway. You can choose to think good thoughts, bad thoughts or a mix of them. The other person has no choice but to play the script you have handed them. So you can't escape from that. You are responsible either way. There is no actual person who has their own traits and free will. You project it on that person. So don't you think that the person would prefer it, if you see them in a good light? Well, they don't care at all anyway, because they don't share your experience, even when it looks that way.

One word to Abraham: It used to confused me a lot, everytime they said that we can't create in the reality of another people. And in the sense I understood it, it didn't feel good. So I decided to drop it at one point, because the main teaching of Abraham is to follow the good feeling thoughts and that wasn't one of them. Think about what Abraham are. They say that they are non-physical entities, but they are also in your experience. That means that they are inside of your creation as well and they have to follow your beliefs. They ARE your creation. If they are inconsistent, it's because of your vibration. You think that the other person is real and therefore you manifest things and people that confirm that. If you believe that you don't have control over something, that will be your experience.

Is it ok to change people? You don't change people. You can't change people. The only thing you can change is your vibration and with that you perceive them in a different frequency range.

What if they can change and in one point start to act again with their pattern but worse? Because, in one point they realize that they been manipulated? If they start to act the same way again, you fell back in old thinking and feeling habits. You don't manipulate them. That's something completely different. Manipulation is trying to change someone's behaviour through action and that doesn't work, because you don't change your vibration. As I said before, they react to your vibration anyway. You can't stop emitting a vibration, so you cannot not influence them. And by influencing, I don't mean just a little bit here and there, I mean their complete behaviour towards you and even towards others as long as it is part of your experience.

I won't guess about why the thing with your bf happened, because I don't know your thoughts. But I could always figure out why something has happened to me in the past, when I looked at the vibration I had emitted before it happened. I noticed one thing when it comes to complex situations that I don't understand in the first moment. It's a perfect cumulation of a lot of details I put out there with my thoughts and feelings. I could give a great example for this, but I am not comfortable sharing it on the forum. If you are interested, you can send me a PM.
 

Jovana wrote:

This part is confusing to me. Free will, you are creator and there is co-creator...
Maybe depend how we understand LOA but if is the law it should be one understanding of it.

Well, I think it's good that there are both versions of it and it's both true in a way. We are interacting with each other, but we choose the version of the other person we interact with. Every soul is changable. It's like a drop of water. It can take on any shape and all shapes exist simultaneously on different frequencies. So you interact, but you choose the version you interact with.

The reason why I think it's good that both versions are out there is that most people come from the place of thinking that they are here and the others are there and things happen to them and what's in their head is private and has no influence on their world at all. If now somebody comes and tells you that you alone are the creator of your world, that there aren't really other people, but the versions of them you shape and that you are responsible for everything...well, even if you believe it, it's huge. It's most probably more than the mind could grasp. It's much softer to first tell you "hey, your thoughts and feelings have an influence". From there, you can decide, if you want to go further or not.

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Right OK then, I've a couple of months back left a job where my line manager was not good in relation to me. She failed to support me and cancelled meetings and also kept me out of things. I was treated differently to other team members, possibly because I behaved differently and didn't join in with fawning over her but just treated her professionally.

So who created the version of me and of her? It's not all down to me. My own take on it is personality clashes, simple as.

What I get out of that is "It was so unfair!". Looking at the emotional scale, that's pretty much on the bottom, not higher as disappointment. Abraham say that our vibration is where we last left it and that's true in my experience. So it doesn't seem as if you have tried to change your focus? The red thread in all of your stories is that you are observing reality and yes, that makes you look powerless of course. But that's the whole point of LoA. Looking at something that isn't there until it is there. You are free to believe whatever you want of course. It takes discipline to change your focus, regardless of what appears in front of your eyes and sometimes it feels impossible. But in my experience, every time I managed to do it, people changed in front of my eyes, even after behaving a certain way for a year.