PrettyFlamingo wrote:

I think you are overthinking this about her mother but I guess that is a symptom of anxiety. For all you know she could have gone back and told her she'd seen you and how professional you were!!!

Well, let's hope you're right, thank you. Really want this girl back in my life

*BIGHUGS* My hope is that, afterwards, she thought about how polite and cordial you were to her

Thanks guys! Struggling today but trying really hard to ignore reality.

I was just thinking back to all the things she said after we stopped dating and the things that she told me, and the ways I saw her act...

Guys, I think she's seeing someone, and I'm losing any faith I had. 

How do you feel better when they're seeing someone and they're happy doing so?

I want her to be happy... but I want to be happy too, you know? Damnit. I'm kinda freaking out.

jellyb wrote:

Why do you think she's seeing someone? And if she was seeing someone, wouldn't she have told you? Whenever guys I dated approached me again, if I wanted nothing to do with them, I made a point of saying "I'm seeing someone and I'm happy." Even if u wasn't actually seeing anyone! It was helpful to say it just to get rid of them.

I'm putting two and two together. She hates video games, now she loves them and borrowed one from one of her "male" friends. She didn't say "friend". She hates tattoos and held that opinion a lot. Then she said she likes tattoos on certain guys. Another time, she was driving a car that wasn't hers and I was anxious and asked her if it was another guys. She said it was a family car- dunno about that now. She had no family in town during that time (I know because we were still kinda on good terms then), and I've been around to her place enough to know that that's not one of their cars...  - also she told me she was seeing someone when we were fighting... but she does say stuff and lie just to get at me when she's angry with me...

But even so, nah she wouldn't because I'm not "part of her life anymore". And during that time when these things listed above were happening, we were progressively falling out. And at that point she said we'd never be together, has no feelings for me, doesn't see a future with me, etc. but she knew how much I love her, so I'm sure she wouldn't want to tell me.

She may have said that just to get rid of me... idk anymore.


I just want to find a way to not worry anymore man. It really hurts and I guess if she is seeing someone else (oh yeah, she'd talk all the time toward the end about her family friend WAY TOI MUCH and how funny he is and how they talk every day. We even had lunch one time and she picked up a call from him during our lunch... and when we were seeing each other, she visited him in their home country and took a picture close together, just the two of them, looked more than friendly. And lately she posted a picture of she, him, and another girl [wrote about this one weeks ago] and reacted on Facebook with the "love" emote...)

Maybe I'm just worrying and doubting a lot because I've been trying to ignore all of these things that easily point toward her seeing someone else, and it's building up. Idk.


If I find out she is seeing someone, for good, (I know it's not my place at all, she's living her life), I can't tell you how broken I'd be. Truth be told I already consider myself pretty damn broken after everything ended between us. I know I'm not in the right place to manifest. I haven't felt proper "well" since we were together, and hell im still doubting. Heavily. Always have been.

So now I don't know what to do. I don't want to sound selfish, or obnoxious here, but I want to be happy... and honestly, if I'm going to be 100% truthful to myself... I can't see that happening without her. I love me and I LOVE how amazing I am... but I just won't feel that fullness and elation of happiness without her.


Shows how aligned I am huh?

I like to think the song "my favourite faded fantasy" speaks pretty well about how I'm feeling about her.

I need to find a way out of this darkness because I know I can't give up. I want to be with her, and I have some faith, albeit blind. And I know that I won't be truly happy without her so I can't give up. I'm motivated. And that's a start. I just need to find where to go from here.


Sorry for the negativity btw guys.