Veronica's Law of Attraction Forum » I'm scared of him!

TrustMe · 11/15/2015 5:24 pm

Hi everyone I'm new to the forum but not really new to LOA. I've known about it since the beginning of the year and I've been trying to attract my ex back. We broke up a year ago and I've been trying to attract him back with little success. I KNOW he still loves me. My issue is that I feel terrified. I am afraid of him and how he hurt me so even though I am trying to attract him back, it's not manifesting in the way I want. I've managed to manifest him back as a friend before. We have even flirted a little. But honestly every time he would talk to me I would feel fear in my chest because I knew he was trying to keep things friendly and deep down I didn't want to get my hopes up in fear he would reject me.

So one day I got enough courage to tell him I still love him and I want him back and he told me "You deserve better", which I knew he would say (You get what you believe huh? lol) and this crushed me. After that we stopped talking for 3 months. I tried to get on with my life, started a new career, kept love in my heart for him, and tried to move on for the time being.

I still love him dearly and if you guys have facebook you know they have that memories app and I check it all the time and of course he pops up in my memories. Sometimes looking at our funny comments makes me laugh and makes me feel closer to him so I like to read those. Anyway, I've 'liked' a few of the comments he would leave on my statuses (I know, a big no-no lol) so today he messaged me (after 3 months no contact) and said "Stop liking my comments lololol" and as soon as I saw his name pop up, I felt that intense fear flood into my body. I don't even know if I should respond.

I almost want to cry. I do affirmations, I imagine he's with me all the time, I visualize us being happy together, our wedding, having kids. All that stuff makes me feel good. But as soon as he actually appears, I feel like running away. How can I get over this fear?

barbidoll · 11/15/2015 5:31 pm

Trust Me let me ask you a question you need to think about the answer remember no answer is a bad one You say you are afraid of him are you afraid of him physically or afraid of the emotions you feel toward him afraid of another rejection? What are you feeling besides fear? why do you want to run? if you are just afraid of rejection you need to only think positive things the negativity will make it happen let me know what you feelings are ? we are all glad to help you

TrustMe · 11/15/2015 5:52 pm

barbidoll wrote:
Trust Me let me ask you a question you need to think about the answer remember no answer is a bad one You say you are afraid of him are you afraid of him physically or afraid of the emotions you feel toward him afraid of another rejection? What are you feeling besides fear? why do you want to run? if you are just afraid of rejection you need to only think positive things the negativity will make it happen let me know what you feelings are ? we are all glad to help you

Hi thanks for the help! I should have been more specific. I am afraid of being hurt emotionally and being rejected. He would never physically harm me.

I feel like he's so important to me and I love him so much that I don't want to blow it. I don't want to say or do the "wrong" thing so I get scared and I want to avoid him. I think in my ideal situation, I would want him to come out and tell me he loves me and wants to get back together. If he had messaged me today and said "I love you" or "I miss you" then I would have felt happy and excited. But it was something that I didn't want to hear so I panicked and all my fears flooded into my head like "He just wants to be friends, he wants you to leave him alone, he just wants to joke around with you and be buddies, he doesnt want to see you, hes not attracted to you" I try to tell myself that these things arent true and ignore what he's saying right now but it won't stop so of course he keeps acting this way.

I think I'm frustrated with myself because I try my best to stay positive but when push comes to shove I fall flat on my face. And if I had only been trying for a few weeks I'd be less frustrated but it's been a year and I'm still terrified of him breaking my heart. I really need some help on how to be more confident. What kind of positive things should I be thinking?

TrustMe · 11/15/2015 6:09 pm

Sam wrote:
I think you should work on yourself some more. Love yourself. Take him off that pedistal and put yourself up there instead! If you fall in love with yourself these things won't be worries anymore! You'll be like, "Of course he wants me! Of course he loves me. Look at me, look how beautiful I am. And he can't resist my sense of humor. Etc." He wanted you once, he's obviously attracted to you. Imagine how irresistible you'd be if your confidence was through the roof. He's gonna be all googly-eyed over you. He's gonna say, "Wow, I need her. "

Thank you Sam. I'm not sure how to get to this place of confidence. This has been a pattern for me. I constantly feel rejected by the men I want. I want to break this pattern.

barbidoll · 11/15/2015 6:12 pm

I agree Work on loving you!! Veronica has a wonderful video on that subject once you are secure in the magnificence of you your self confidance will rise Work on visualizations with perfect outcomes don't let any negativity slide into the script

TrustMe · 11/15/2015 8:30 pm

Thank you. I feel more positive now. I should look on the bright side and see that he at least is willing to talk to me. I am aware that he loves me dearly. I just need to focus on myself and really believe that he wants to be with me again.

Something else that has been bothering me is that I have limiting beliefs about him. Like how he told me that I deserve better than him. He has low self esteem and right now he does believe that I deserve a much better man than him. I've seen him at his best and he is phenomenal person but when he's at his worst he's down on himself. That's why we broke up. He finally just felt I was too good for him and he's standing his ground. I want to bring out the confident side in him as well. If I become more confident will that help?

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11/15/2015 5:24 pm #1

I'm scared of him!

11/15/2015 5:31 pm #2

Re: I'm scared of him!

11/15/2015 5:52 pm #3

Re: I'm scared of him!

barbidoll wrote:

11/15/2015 6:09 pm #4

Re: I'm scared of him!

Sam wrote:

11/15/2015 6:12 pm #5

Re: I'm scared of him!

11/15/2015 8:30 pm #6

Re: I'm scared of him!

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