Offline
I wasn't sure where to put this thread, I guess it can help with alignment. If it's in the wrong place I'll remove it and place it in the right place.ย ย Sorry it's going to be a long read.
I was sat in the bath earlier when for no reason this thought process popped into my head, maybe it's a case of divine timing? I just felt the need to jot it down in as many places as I could while it's fresh in my mind.
This is going to start off a little negative but that's where the best lessons come from. The majority of my breakups were never amicable. I always had doubts and they'd manifest, so naturally I would be absolutely livid. When I first stumbled across this forum it was my intention to attract someone I cared for. I was worried he'd leave again and of course, he did. I was so angry and all I could think about when I'd visualise, use Lanie's books or scripting was him apologising. I mean practically begging and apologising. I hit a dead end with him and decided I can have him or someone better. ย Still haven't heard from this guy but I know I will once I'm in the right place mentally.ย
I met a new guy as I mentioned, I've posted about him here. We met up and spent two days together. I panicked and thought damaging things. So naturally, that happened. We fell out, I blocked him off every social media platform, removed him from my PlayStation friends list and for a few days I did nothing but seethe, affirm I've fucked up and question where my apology was for his fault in the situation. ย Eventually, I had this feeling I had to reach out, so I got a friend to pass on my Skype details and he added me. ย Of course, I was still on a warpath and guess what I was met with? The exact same vibe I was putting out. He told me how I'd upset him and how he didn't think he could forgive me, this was validating my fears I'd fucked it all up with him. So after arguing for a bit I made peace with what I'd said and done and everything on his end I told him I cared for him and if he wanted to talk to me the ball was in his court, he told me he cared about me too but needed to calm down and he might talk to me again. I left it at that and carried on with my day. The next day he messaged me talking about the stuff we usually talked about. We're back to playing games together and he's seeing me next week because we watch WWE stuff together.ย
With him, it took one day to reverse the damage I originally thought would have destroyed any chance of a reconciliation. Once I let go of the rage and feeling I was entitled to the apology it all fell into place. I did get an apology in the end but I'd already forgiven us both at this stage.ย
I know how awful it is to be in situations with people who have hurt you, I've been there enough times. I'm starting to think maybe we should just forgive these people, they might not deserve it but you deserve to live without resenment and bitterness, nothing good ever comes of it.ย
Offline
I really like this. It's fun how these things manifest so quickly and easily whenever we almost have less emotional attachment from not knowing the person as long, however oftentimes with our exes sometimes it's months and years of limiting beliefs and doubts manifesting. We read books and watch videos and come to the conclusion that we need the apology in order for things to start moving, but waiting for the apology often means that we're waiting for it in order to forgive, but we have to truly forgive right now, in the present moment, as if it's already happened! Make it seem like whatever happened was so insignificant and doesn't matter which is easier to do when it's a new person. We caught it early so we can reverse it fast. I think I got the point of what you're saying, correct me if I'm wrong? i see how this relates to my life as well. ย