I met this guy last summer and I had a strong attraction towards him.  Yes, physically.  I also enjoyed being around him. It was a rare situation where when I was away from someone, I couldn't wait to be around them again. I was excited and happy about life.  Once we stopped dealing with each other, it was like that excitement and happiness was gone and I didn't understand why. I originally wanted him back because I wanted that excitement and happiness back.  Now,  even though he is around and reaches out to me again - I'm more focused on working on myself.  I want to complete a journey so that my excitement and happiness in life isn't depending on anything outside of me.

We just "fit."

I was the only one he showed his real side to. I knew what made him self conscious and I know what he truly wanted out of life, and did what I could to empower him to pursue his goals.  He did the same with me. 

The stuff we laughed about is stuff that I've never found another person to laugh with about it. It's like we spoke our own little language that nobody else understood, but we understood each other. 

With everyone else he only gives a persona. They only see a certain side of him and every other person he's been with has only seen this side. Even his own family sees this particular side of him. But with me he broke down his walls and actually let me in...which is why on the outside looking in, people accused me of doing whatever TO him. Because they only knew that one side. I knew all sides. Not like a multiple personality thing but you know how we show different facets of ourself in certain situations? That's what I'm getting at. 

You want your ex because your ex wants you too. Desire is a two way street.

lovekinjal wrote:

Suzy wrote:

I have no doubt that we all love our ex but are you truly in love with your ex? I haven't seen anyone say that in the relationship their ex was their best friend...which is very important in a relationship. Has everyone thought deeply why they want to get back with this person, are they compatible with this person, can they see themselves having a strong partnership with this person? Is this a person who gave you their full support in whatever decisions you made....did you give your full support in their decisions?

Other than saying you love this person because sometimes love is just not enough...what are the reasons you want to be back together?

​Nice point Suzy. This is a strong question that everyone out here should ask themselves. They will then realize is it worth at all to go for ex or would rather find someone better. If you cannot love your ex unconditionally, then you do not love her at all.

​But I would like to point out one more thing. Do not look for support from your love. Nobody wants a person for whom you have to be a support system. Try to be independent and then find someone. But that does not mean do not care for your love. Care for him/her. But try not to be a support system.

I think supporting each other is part of a healthy relationship.  

lovekinjal wrote:

What do u mean by Support ? Support for me is something which defies the ultimate motive of being happy all by urself. Support for me means finding someone who is responsible for my happiness. If one day he/she does not support me in my decision, then he does not love me. If one day he is too tied up with his work that he missed out on the fact that u r emotionally feeling little low, then he/she does not love me. But that is not the lesson of LoA my dear. If u r looking for support, then the person u find will also be looking for support. Can u give him 101% support for ur entire life? No. Therefore, do not look for support. Look for care and love. Look for someone, to have fun with even wen u r fighting.

I think we are talking about the same thing but using different descriptive words.