- Creeeeestal
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- Registered: 5/19/2016
- Posts: 159
Re: Anniversary. (Advice appreciated)
tessy wrote:
I totally agree with Blue. There is no strict rule for NC. Come on, we are human, sending a thoughtful msg at this time would mean a lotttttt!!!! I mean it shows u still remember those moments. And u said its 10 months....so had u been really creepy or stalking, you wouldnt have waited for 10 months would you? Its an extremely graceful gesture on your part to send a text at his dad's death anniversary. Just send the text and forget about it. DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING AT ALL. Think as if u are sending it to any damn person (I know its not easy but you have to) Do it ONLY IF YOU ARE OK with a NO REPLY or just a "Thank You". Trust me....even a small thanks means a lot. Best wishes girl.
Thank you Tessy! That's exactly what I did. At first I felt a little nervous, but then I told myself "It's just an email, you sent a simple email and that was it." Then I realized the nerves came from feeling like a true adult for the first time in my life. When I was truly able to contact him and not feel that heart racing feeling. I almost felt liberated. Like I really am okay without him. I mean regardless if he responds or not, all I did was send condolences. I'm still living my life and focused on what I've made a priority. Even dating and talking to other people which is teaching me to approach dating and relationships with a new positive attitude, which I never did before. It's aloof, it's relaxed and it's part of my growth. I know he's growing too and he can't come back until he does. 
True forgiveness is accepting the apology you have not yet received.
- lovekinjal
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- Posts: 143
Re: Anniversary. (Advice appreciated)
I actually loved this entire thread. Its like a myth that everyone is living with. And unfortunately, they have not realized what is Law of Attraction. Law of Attraction never said that you have to be absolutely lazy for your manifestations to come to you. If you have to drink that cup of milk, you WILL have to pick that damn cup up, take it to your mouth and gulp that milk. Similarly, sometimes your desire needs some actions too. Actions which are free from anxiety. When you go to pick up that cup, you do not feel nervous or fearful of whether that milk will reach you or not. Similarly, if you can remove the anxiety and fear factor from your action, then you are free to carry out any action. No Contact is a similar action. It is an action which prevents you to stop acting with fear. So if you have removed the fear part, then the No also goes away from "NO CONTACT". And not only contact, but you can even think of going and visiting the person if you have no fear or anxiety that he will refuse to see you.
- Avaelle
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- Posts: 1,147
Re: Anniversary. (Advice appreciated)
I mean, if I were sitting and hadn't communicated with him in weeks or months and I had this itch to reach out - I would do so. At times when we put the no contact order into place, it is almost like we are torturing ourselves and creating a prison for ourselves. So, I just go for it.
Now, if I had sent him a handful of texts and never received anything back - I wouldn't keep texting or calling him. It reeks of desperation to me. So, I'd let him come to me.
The Universe is your playground.
- Creeeeestal
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- Registered: 5/19/2016
- Posts: 159
Re: Anniversary. (Advice appreciated)
I actually loved this entire thread. Its like a myth that everyone is living with. And unfortunately, they have not realized what is Law of Attraction. Law of Attraction never said that you have to be absolutely lazy for your manifestations to come to you. If you have to drink that cup of milk, you WILL have to pick that damn cup up, take it to your mouth and gulp that milk. Similarly, sometimes your desire needs some actions too. Actions which are free from anxiety. When you go to pick up that cup, you do not feel nervous or fearful of whether that milk will reach you or not. Similarly, if you can remove the anxiety and fear factor from your action, then you are free to carry out any action. No Contact is a similar action. It is an action which prevents you to stop acting with fear. So if you have removed the fear part, then the No also goes away from "NO CONTACT". And not only contact, but you can even think of going and visiting the person if you have no fear or anxiety that he will refuse to see you.
I love your perspective as well, lovekinjal! This is the side of "no contact" I've been really unfamiliar with. But you have a point there, when it comes to the glass of milk. Our manifestations of our desires do require "inspired action!" That inspired action should be done free of anxiety. So when I sent this email, it was simple, came from a good place, and I genuinely DON'T care about his response whether he does or not. I haven't even checked my email today....I actually only open it once a week.
It's almost like a misunderstanding and like we discovered earlier, No Contact is to help us raise our vibrations and grow no matter how long it takes. For me, it took me an extended amount of months to fully grow. If I had reached out to him any sooner it would've blown up in my face because I wasn't ready. I would even venture to say now, because of what I'm doing in my life and all I have going on, I'd be wiling to accept him as a friend at this point. But only because I feel a lot more powerful and in control. I know that if I accepted him as a friend, it'd be healthy and I'd eventually be ready to grow into the relationship with him, and he won't sway.
True forgiveness is accepting the apology you have not yet received.
- •
Thread Starter- Creeeeestal
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- Posts: 159
Re: Anniversary. (Advice appreciated)
I mean, if I were sitting and hadn't communicated with him in weeks or months and I had this itch to reach out - I would do so. At times when we put the no contact order into place, it is almost like we are torturing ourselves and creating a prison for ourselves. So, I just go for it.
Now, if I had sent him a handful of texts and never received anything back - I wouldn't keep texting or calling him. It reeks of desperation to me. So, I'd let him come to me.
yes yes yes exactly!!!! It can kinda get to a point where it's no longer productive and if it feels right and there's no motive behind it, reaching out isn't all that bad. I realize that now. :D
You're right, as long as we're not spam texting them, which I used to be the type to do...I was worse years before but I got better and better, when we broke up I went text crazy because I was just angry.
I've never felt this "itch" to reach out in this way, I've done this before with other exes but I had a motive behind it, trying to trigger something. This is the first time this has just been genuine and not caring about what I get in return, if anything at alll.
True forgiveness is accepting the apology you have not yet received.
- •
Thread Starter- Colonel Roosevelt
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- Registered: 1/30/2016
- Posts: 530
Re: Anniversary. (Advice appreciated)
I actually loved this entire thread. Its like a myth that everyone is living with. And unfortunately, they have not realized what is Law of Attraction. Law of Attraction never said that you have to be absolutely lazy for your manifestations to come to you. If you have to drink that cup of milk, you WILL have to pick that damn cup up, take it to your mouth and gulp that milk. Similarly, sometimes your desire needs some actions too. Actions which are free from anxiety. When you go to pick up that cup, you do not feel nervous or fearful of whether that milk will reach you or not. Similarly, if you can remove the anxiety and fear factor from your action, then you are free to carry out any action. No Contact is a similar action. It is an action which prevents you to stop acting with fear. So if you have removed the fear part, then the No also goes away from "NO CONTACT". And not only contact, but you can even think of going and visiting the person if you have no fear or anxiety that he will refuse to see you.
LOL Sometimes I feel like people expect the specific person they want to somehow crash through their ceiling after visualizing XD:
- Avaelle
- Guru
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- Registered: 11/15/2016
- Posts: 1,147
Re: Anniversary. (Advice appreciated)
I mean, if I were sitting and hadn't communicated with him in weeks or months and I had this itch to reach out - I would do so. At times when we put the no contact order into place, it is almost like we are torturing ourselves and creating a prison for ourselves. So, I just go for it.
Now, if I had sent him a handful of texts and never received anything back - I wouldn't keep texting or calling him. It reeks of desperation to me. So, I'd let him come to me.yes yes yes exactly!!!! It can kinda get to a point where it's no longer productive and if it feels right and there's no motive behind it, reaching out isn't all that bad. I realize that now. :D
You're right, as long as we're not spam texting them, which I used to be the type to do...I was worse years before but I got better and better, when we broke up I went text crazy because I was just angry.
I've never felt this "itch" to reach out in this way, I've done this before with other exes but I had a motive behind it, trying to trigger something. This is the first time this has just been genuine and not caring about what I get in return, if anything at alll.
Yes. Sometimes too much thinking goes into all of this. It should be natural and easy.
The Universe is your playground.
- Creeeeestal
- Superhero
Offline
- From: USA
- Registered: 5/19/2016
- Posts: 159
Re: Anniversary. (Advice appreciated)
I actually loved this entire thread. Its like a myth that everyone is living with. And unfortunately, they have not realized what is Law of Attraction. Law of Attraction never said that you have to be absolutely lazy for your manifestations to come to you. If you have to drink that cup of milk, you WILL have to pick that damn cup up, take it to your mouth and gulp that milk. Similarly, sometimes your desire needs some actions too. Actions which are free from anxiety. When you go to pick up that cup, you do not feel nervous or fearful of whether that milk will reach you or not. Similarly, if you can remove the anxiety and fear factor from your action, then you are free to carry out any action. No Contact is a similar action. It is an action which prevents you to stop acting with fear. So if you have removed the fear part, then the No also goes away from "NO CONTACT". And not only contact, but you can even think of going and visiting the person if you have no fear or anxiety that he will refuse to see you.
LOL Sometimes I feel like people expect the specific person they want to somehow crash through their ceiling after visualizing XD:
Colonel, I have to laugh at myself as I laugh at that clip, because that's kind of what I was expecting! Especially knowing that there's people who visualize something and it just instantly appears in their life. I was kind of expecting something to crash through the ceiling. lol
True forgiveness is accepting the apology you have not yet received.
- •
Thread StarterVeronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com