I'm sure the answer is within me somewhere, I just have to look hard enough.  

Blue wrote:

I don't know where this whole "no contact" mentality came from where people think it's an absolute strict rule and you just can't reach out or else you're somehow doomed.

That's BS to me.

"No contact" is, in my opinion, for those who are so lost that they don't know up from down and are constantly moping around and crying in their pillow at night. Those creepy people who just can't stop contacting their ex or whoever over and over and over despite being told "leave me alone". Those people who just can't ******* move on and find their dignity. Those people who contact their significant other's moms, dad's, brothers, etc. because they "love their daughter so much!" Or "need answers!!!" - THOSE people need to follow "no contact" because they're obsessing and bothering someone to death. Everyone else is fine.

If you are at a place within yourself that you feel happy and don't care about getting a response, there is zero harm in reaching out. Reaching out won't stop your manifestation process or whatever else. If you're in a happy place and you don't care for the outcome, there's no harm. If you're not going to spam them, reach out to their mom or family members - go ahead.

You said he lost his father - hell yes I would reach out. My man and I got into a huge fight and a few days later his good friend died of cancer. I reached out and told him I was sorry for his loss, even though there was still some tension between us. I did it because I love and care for him, I didn't expect a response. He did end up talking to me that evening and we made up later on, but I wasn't thinking "If I reach out then ___ will happen." I just did it.

I agree, she should def reach out


I agree with what you said about no contact too, I don't think it should be some strict rule, it's usually to help us get rid of the resistance we may have

another reason no contact might be good, is if the person hasn't responded in awhile, but even then, if something comes along and you feel a MUST text/call and no expect ANYTHING out of it, then go for it. 

Blue wrote:

I don't know where this whole "no contact" mentality came from where people think it's an absolute strict rule and you just can't reach out or else you're somehow doomed.

That's BS to me.

"No contact" is, in my opinion, for those who are so lost that they don't know up from down and are constantly moping around and crying in their pillow at night. Those creepy people who just can't stop contacting their ex or whoever over and over and over despite being told "leave me alone". Those people who just can't ******* move on and find their dignity. Those people who contact their significant other's moms, dad's, brothers, etc. because they "love their daughter so much!" Or "need answers!!!" - THOSE people need to follow "no contact" because they're obsessing and bothering someone to death. Everyone else is fine.

If you are at a place within yourself that you feel happy and don't care about getting a response, there is zero harm in reaching out. Reaching out won't stop your manifestation process or whatever else. If you're in a happy place and you don't care for the outcome, there's no harm. If you're not going to spam them, reach out to their mom or family members - go ahead.

You said he lost his father - hell yes I would reach out. My man and I got into a huge fight and a few days later his good friend died of cancer. I reached out and told him I was sorry for his loss, even though there was still some tension between us. I did it because I love and care for him, I didn't expect a response. He did end up talking to me that evening and we made up later on, but I wasn't thinking "If I reach out then ___ will happen." I just did it.

Goodness....you do have a point there, blue! No contact is something I don't know too much about, but I think you've nailed what it's supposed to do...give us time to get our minds right and be okay with ourselves. I certainly haven't done anything like that, even at my worst. I do pray for his family, because one thing that would have to happen with our new relationship whenever it happens, is a good relationship with his sister. She didn't like me, but she also never met me.....when we broke up she also apologized. But yeah, no contacting family members here....

A lot of this has just been me trying to sort it out: am I REALLY ok with him not responding.....it's been so long and since i DON'T know what's been going on on his side since I don't check up on him (I've looked at his profile like 5 times total over the past few months.....I'm the type who looks at people's profiles multiple times a day, lol so that is HUGE progress). There's that underlying fear of "what if there's a negative response" and even with an ounce of those thoughts, I didn't even begin to write the message. 

But you do have a point, it shouldn't have to be a strict rule that we can't reach out at all, especially if we're in a good state of mind or expecting the resolution right then and there. I know that I just feel in my heart to send some condolences, nothing about talking further. I've just been thinking of sending an email like 

"Hey, I know that it's been a year since the passing of your dad. I know how rough this was on you last year and hope you and your family are doing alright." SOMETHING LIKE THAT, lol. 

Hell, I'd do it. Want me to do it for you? LOL. It seems to me that you really want to send him a nice message but the only reason you don't is because you're scared of a bad outcome. I can't begin to tell you how many times I was scared of a bad outcome and the opposite happened - good things happened. If it feels right in your heart, I'd go for it. Worst case scenario: no reply. If you start to feel negative, you know it's only natural and a part of life, it's OK to feel sad at times, you know there are ways to soothe yourself and be happier again. You'll get over it. Put yourself in his shoes - what would you want?

I totally agree with Blue. There is no strict rule for NC. Come on, we are human, sending a thoughtful msg at this time would mean a lotttttt!!!! I mean it shows u still remember those moments. And u said its 10 months....so had u been really creepy or stalking, you wouldnt have waited for 10 months would you? Its an extremely graceful gesture on your part to send a text at his dad's death anniversary. Just send the text and forget about it. DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING AT ALL. Think as if u are sending it to any damn person (I know its not easy but you have to) Do it ONLY IF YOU ARE OK with a NO REPLY or just a "Thank You". Trust me....even a small thanks means a lot. Best wishes girl.