Blue wrote:

Em wrote:

But when people don't actively encourage it, **** hits the fan and people get called unhelpful or condescending.

Augh, yes. Exactly. Or we're "rude" because we realise that it's not OK.

Just because Law of Attraction is here doesn't give you a free pass to disrespect people's wishes and do as you please without regarding the feelings of others.

The fact that he said "Help me come up with something non creepy? Something that'll make her regret losing me?;)" in his first post proves he isn't wishing her Happy Birthday out of love but for his own personal gain. Yet after we've all given advice to just keep it short he still wants everyone to enable his behaviour. No.

Not really. You're just an ass sometimes. In general. I've noticed it on lanies forum too.
I'm out for a bit. I don't need this negativity. That's on you and other negative people. I simply asked a very simple question. I didn't bring any negativity. The replies I've gotten have been helpful, but others have just been douchy. I feel like I can't be real on this forum and that I have to walk on eggshells most of the time. Try to see how you act instead of subtly bashing others and being rude.

Thanks!

YesIWILL wrote:

Blue wrote:

Em wrote:

But when people don't actively encourage it, **** hits the fan and people get called unhelpful or condescending.

Augh, yes. Exactly. Or we're "rude" because we realise that it's not OK.

Just because Law of Attraction is here doesn't give you a free pass to disrespect people's wishes and do as you please without regarding the feelings of others.

The fact that he said "Help me come up with something non creepy? Something that'll make her regret losing me?;)" in his first post proves he isn't wishing her Happy Birthday out of love but for his own personal gain. Yet after we've all given advice to just keep it short he still wants everyone to enable his behaviour. No.

Not really. You're just an ass sometimes. In general. I've noticed it on lanies forum too.
I'm out for a bit. I don't need this negativity. That's on you and other negative people. I simply asked a very simple question. I didn't bring any negativity. The replies I've gotten have been helpful, but others have just been douchy. I feel like I can't be real on this forum and that I have to walk on eggshells most of the time. Try to see how you act instead of subtly bashing others and being rude.

Thanks!

There is a difference between negativity, and someone not being in the proper mental place to receive the information and input given.

This is an example of the latter. I have been in your shoes. It seems like people are being rude, but they're actually giving you tips that could help (which is what you asked for) and people come to these conclusions based on your speaking patterns in your posts. Of course it's ok to fall short but it's up to us to make an active effort to make some changes within ourselves. Nobody is being an ass here. What everyone's trying to get at here though, is the focus needs to be you and your personal growth, and not saying the magic words that'll make her fall back in love with you. If she even comes back 1/16 of a second before you're ready and truly changed, it's not even worth manifesting. You'll get there, we all believe you can, but you've gotta work on you and truly give the person space like everyone has been advising from the very beginning, until things kinda blew up in your face like last time. 

Again it's a personal choice to take advice, but keep in mind that a lot of the advice we give is based on LOA which is a universal truth. Focus on the universal truth and the universal truth is, if you still have to ask for help to not be creepy, you've got a bit of inward work to do. We're still rooting for you. 

YESIWill, my personal take is this - if you're looking for a reaction..I think you will get a bigger one by NOT messaging her on her birthday. As a female who has been in that position, I KNEW my ex was gonna use my birthday as an excuse to contact me. I always knew it and I had the power. However..the sure game changer would have been if he didn't..because I would have cared/been bothered/ego hurt if he didnt..cuz if he didnt that would have meant he now had power over the situation. I hope that this little tid bit can benefit you coming from real life experience.

So a play by play will be chances are, if you do not message her on her birthday, she will think hmm.. well this is interesting..is he really over me? ( the love in her heart for you would not want this to be true and general female ego at play here) I wonder if he has changed ( which will be a good thing because you are doing something totally out of the expected and character, in this case the change will be good! because you are showing you respect boundaries and focusing on self) and lastly she may even question are you okay ( like hello is everything alright?? may force her to try and get in touch with you cuz this is so unlike you)

These are the pros and I think they will all fall in your favor. Telling her happy birthday will be totally expected and may just make a blip on her radar, it will expected and may be seen as an excuse..a generic, cookie cutter one at that, no surprise factor there! So I hope you take this into consideration, like Creeeeestal said, We're all rooting for you. Dont X yourself out the game by making a lousy move..and I say that with all the love and light there is.

Creeeeestal wrote:

Someone who doesn't take anyone's advice gets 4 pages of responses. Almost takes away from those of us who actually need some support

I know the feeling lol 

Me too Meg, he needs to get his power back, too focused on her. Some excellent advice in the last few posts.