Creeeeestal wrote:

Dan2015 wrote:

Creeeeestal wrote:

If you have a different suggestion or the same suggestion, then COOL. Post it. .....That's literally what everyone is doing. I don't think you're fully reading and comprehending what everyone has been saying, and suggesting that you keep it simple.

However, if you go back and read the words you typed in your responses, you're taking the discussion in a circular direction. You already know where you stand with this person, you don't want to be creepy, so as everyone has been telling you, a simple "happy birthday" if that's truly what's on your heart, is all that will suffice. there's no buzz word to use. You have always had a tendency to not really take people's input when you're flat out asking for input. 

I hate to even be fueling this but if you can comprehend the words that I'm saying, then great. You'll understand why people are beginning to respond with a slightly frustrated tone. 

The moral of the story:
Essentially this is what's happening.

Original post: What's 1+1?
[general consensus]: 2.
Original poster: But what if I add 3 to it? What else can I add to 1+1 to still get it to equal 2?
[general consensus]: Don't. 1+1=2. Don't over complicate it.
Original poster: Ok yeah but what if I add 5?

Do we catch my drift
 

I do notice at times he wants us to give him "alternative facts"(in the words of Donald Trump".

Don't want to signal "yesiwill" out. I think a lot of people want to be told comforting lies as opposed to truths they might not like.

I think in this case. He wants us to basically cosign him in doing what he truly wants to do, so he feels better about doing it. It's like how people in general will ignore everything they hear until it's something they like




I know he wants to tell her happy birthday. And I respect that. But for me personally. When my ex's birthday comes I most likely won't tell her happy birthday. Since unless things change. We haven't talked since September(similar to yesiwill)

I completely get you, Dan. I haven't spoken to mine since .....May? There was one random text in june but I don't even count it really.... I did however work a lot on my vibration and just being a better version of me period. I didn't get any birthday or christmas wishes, I thought I would, but I've been too attached to the outward change up until recently, when I need to keep making my inward changes and tweaks. If when the time comes though, you feel like you're vibrationally ready for it, there wouldn't be anything wrong with a simple little message.  
 

That's so true,  your vibration plays such a huge role in things.    For example.  With yesiwill. If he had a great vibration for this topic. It wouldn't really matters what he said to her. 


As times passes, more and more I realize how important your vibration both generally and on topic is.   You could be happy with other phases of life, but still struggle on things like this

It's one of the things I've learned,  visualizing/rs/etc and just getting your vibes in order is more important than physical reality right now, it's basically doing your homework

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

I don't understand all the background to this relationship ending; he wants an apology? I don't know what went wrong between them.

With respect to the birthday message, I wondered if she would be surprised if she DIDN'T  receive anything from him what with previous history? That might make her think!

I was thinking the same thing, it would probably shock her if he didn't say happy birthday.    Or if he actually went a few months without any type of contact

Because he wants to get back with her. We all know and acknowledge that but the concern is unresolved issues between them that keep coming up, or Will not being happy in himself. We all want everyone to succeed but sometimes getting the person back before change or enlightenment has taken place is one of the worst things that could happen.

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Because he wants to get back with her. We all know and acknowledge that but the concern is unresolved issues between them that keep coming up, or Will not being happy in himself. We all want everyone to succeed but sometimes getting the person back before change or enlightenment has taken place is one of the worst things that could happen.

Yes, I understand that, I really do. And we're all here because we want to see people succeed. But these tactics are incredibly manipulative and he does not have her best interests at heart here. Love would be wanting to wish her a happy birthday because he means it regardless of wether they get back together or not. Not just wishing it her in the hopes it will make her fall head over heels. This is all to benefit him and not her. It is not healthy nor should it be encouraged. You get back what you put out. Put out unconditional love by respecting her wishes and it will come back to him. Put out forceful tactics and games and it will also come back to him and backfire. Like it has been proven countless times before already. Nobody should be encouraging this kind of behaviour.

Last edited by Em (2/17/2017 5:04 am)

PrettyFlamingo wrote:

Which is why we've all said if he must, just say happy birthday and leave it at that. Enough to show he's remembered like other friends, not enough to be seen as pushing it.

Oh no, I didn't mean to say that you guys here were enabling him to carry on this way. Sorry if it seemed that way. It was more intended towards the fact that he is outright asking people to encourage him to carry on acting inappropriately which in itself is quite worrying. But when people don't actively encourage it, **** hits the fan and people get called unhelpful or condescending.

Last edited by Em (2/17/2017 5:37 am)