YesIWILL wrote:

Avaelle wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

"Happy birthday. Hope we can catch up soon"

Better?

I want to show some interest

If you insist on doing this anyway, just take the path of least resistance.  The path that is in line with your core beliefs and desires. 

A "Happy Birthday!" is enough and plenty.  It doesn't leave any room to view you as creepy.  It can also open the door to make her worry that you are getting over her and moving on.  You have to see that as a good thing, it could make her reach out to you.  This is the best route to take.

Least resistance. You're right. But if she's already moved on as she said she has, then that won't be effective...

If I HAD to, what about "hey! I hope you have a great birthday! Coffee soon? Just let me know. I hope your birthday is amazing!"

I guess I'd just be worried about the "nah" response. I need to stop putting that worry in my mind lol.

Saying that leaves it in her court.

Saying all that leaves the door open for her family to comment. You know that nice old group that you worry about thinking you are creepy.

It is like you want to take a giant step, which would be fine if you were ready. However, you aren't ready for all that.

You keep throwing yourself to the wolves and crashing and burning. You need to take baby steps to build your confidence about this and change your core beliefs

YesIWILL wrote:

Avaelle wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

"Happy birthday. Hope we can catch up soon"

Better?

I want to show some interest

If you insist on doing this anyway, just take the path of least resistance.  The path that is in line with your core beliefs and desires. 

A "Happy Birthday!" is enough and plenty.  It doesn't leave any room to view you as creepy.  It can also open the door to make her worry that you are getting over her and moving on.  You have to see that as a good thing, it could make her reach out to you.  This is the best route to take.

Least resistance. You're right. But if she's already moved on as she said she has, then that won't be effective...

If I HAD to, what about "hey! I hope you have a great birthday! Coffee soon? Just let me know. I hope your birthday is amazing!"

I guess I'd just be worried about the "nah" response. I need to stop putting that worry in my mind lol.

Saying that leaves it in her court.

I'm with Avaelle. "Happy Birthday!" is plenty if you're going for this.

Any contact at all is enough "leaving the ball in her court" to be getting along with. Reaching out of any sort is saying "hey, I want contact". It's unnecessary to add that you want contact. If you are calm, relaxed, and not pushy, it leaves space for her to come to you.

I'm sure this analogy has been used here before, but it's like the cat that you're meeting for the first time. If you're all over that cat, it may be intimidated and run away before it's ready to come back and check you out. If you introduce yourself, and then are calm and give it the space to come to you, you're likely to have it feel safer in your company, trust you more easily, and come to see what you're about quicker.

Or... if you're my mum... be f'n terrified of all cats and want nothing to do with them and they'll swarm you like your entire body is made of catnip. 😂

YesIWILL wrote:

I don't like it to stick out in some way though. What about "I hope you have an amazing birthday today!"

I just want her to not think of me as a random person wishing a happy birthday

 

You won't be, I can guarantee that.

Which is why you really don't need anything more than "Happy Birthday!"

Pan_Pipe wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

I don't like it to stick out in some way though. What about "I hope you have an amazing birthday today!"

I just want her to not think of me as a random person wishing a happy birthday

 

You won't be, I can guarantee that.

Which is why you really don't need anything more than "Happy Birthday!"

You really think I stick out in her mind on some level? That she thinks about me more than she thinks about others?

YesIWILL wrote:

Pan_Pipe wrote:

YesIWILL wrote:

I don't like it to stick out in some way though. What about "I hope you have an amazing birthday today!"

I just want her to not think of me as a random person wishing a happy birthday

 

You won't be, I can guarantee that.

Which is why you really don't need anything more than "Happy Birthday!"

You really think I stick out in her mind on some level? That she thinks about me more than she thinks about others?

 
From all your old posts, I know you like logic so I'll hit you with a bit of that first. Imagine it's your birthday. An old friend who you were close with once, but maybe have lost touch with says "happy birthday". No more no less. You get that instant hit of "oh yeah, THAT person!" even if it's been a long time. It kicks off memories of that person in your life. The fact that they've thought enough of you to wish you a happy birthday is enough - the positive vibrations from positive memories do all the rest of the work.

From the LOA side - it's even more effective if they think it comes from themselves. We've all had those moments where someone you were thinking of messages you out of the blue, or you bump into them, or you contact them and they say "I was just thinking of you!". So we know the power of that mental connection. We know we are already connected to those people, and that we can subconsciously send those messages. And that can subconsciously do the same thing as I described above. And they believe it's their own mind at work, ( but we know we're creating it) but it's more powerful because it's more persuasive.

You also know a lot about LOA already. You already know if  you believe you are just like everyone else to her, you will be. If you believe a simple message will bump those positive thoughts into her head, it will. If you believe you stand out because of who you are, you will. You're already doubting yourself, you're already worrying and focusing on potential bad outcomes. There are just as many potential good outcomes available to you. Actively choose them by considering them as the only path. As I said before, it's up to your belief and vibration, and you already know this. So there's no need to worry because the choice is up to you, and you know which path you want to take, so you know what you have to do.

Last edited by Pan_Pipe (2/16/2017 3:03 pm)