1 of 1- jamna
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- Registered: 5/16/2016
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What if I am trying too hard?
Hi beautiful people 
I want to share something that has been in my mind lately.
As some of you might already know, I'm in a long distance relationship since about 4 years. Last year he broke up because he was dealing with a crisis (not knowing what he wants/ being unhappy etc) and it's now been around 8 months since I have manifested him back. We met for christmas and it was really great but now being separated things are not going so good.
I felt down often, not because of being far away from eachother but because of the lack of communication from his side.
I realize that I'm constantly forgiving him for his behaviour because I love him so much and see good and because I'm an empath and I always find a reason to be understanding even though I'm being treated the wrong way.
I have worked a lot on myself, becoming a better person and improving my character. And I know how badly I want my relationship to work but I also have enough self-respect to know what I deserve.
What if this is not about me but about him? what if he will never make that effort? Maybe I'm trying too hard, but what if I'm simply in a toxic relationship and he just isn't able to appreciate me the way I deserve to be appreciated? I know that I can manifest him being in a relationship with me. I have also manifested him saying he will change his behaviour and put more effort to it. But is it a healthy relationship if I'm the only one putting an effort to it? How many times have I told him how important it is to me to have a good communication, especially being so far away from eachother and how many times has he said he will change in that way..
My point is I am the only one putting work into that relationship but whenever I feel down I can't seem to talk to him because it will drag both of us down. What's the point of being in a relationship if at the end of the day you still feel alone when you think about that person? What if he isn't the right guy for the relationship I'm trying to manifest?
What do you guys think? Is someone stuck in a similar situation?
Is there any advice you can give me?
Sending you all great vibes <3
If you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it!
- Paulo Coelho
- Colonel Roosevelt
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Re: What if I am trying too hard?
I have so many thought on this and if you want to know them just ask, but for now I'll keep it short: trust your gut on this. It shouldn't feel you're trying too hard, either LoA is helping you create a happier life or it's not, sometimes all of our wishful thinking and techniques don't really free us or create happiness and love as much as they just keep us chained to the same patterns, so trust your gut.
- Sanshi
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Re: What if I am trying too hard?
There is one thing about LoA you can absolutely rely on and that is that it is only about you. You have full control over your experience. There is nothing that can just happen to you without you having attracted it. There is no person that can do wrong to you without you in some form having expected it. As your post clearly shows, you think about his behaviour and now you talk about it and by doing so, you attract even more of that behaviour. He can't behave in any other way as long as you focus on him not properly communicating. You have to take the leap of faith and see in your imagination and feel in your heart what you can't see (yet) in your reality. Working on a relationship is never about telling the other person what you don't like. It's always about changing you. It's the only way to give the other person the possibility to change their behaviour.
"Self-abandonment. That is the secret. We have to abandon ourselves to the state, in our love for the state, and in so doing live the life of the state and no more our present state. And to make the state alive, one must become it."
Neville Goddard ~ The Law and the Promise
- jamna
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- Registered: 5/16/2016
- Posts: 23
Re: What if I am trying too hard?
Colonel Roosevelt wrote:
I have so many thought on this and if you want to know them just ask, but for now I'll keep it short: trust your gut on this. It shouldn't feel you're trying too hard, either LoA is helping you create a happier life or it's not, sometimes all of our wishful thinking and techniques don't really free us or create happiness and love as much as they just keep us chained to the same patterns, so trust your gut.
Thanks for replying. I agree with you, and that's why I wonder if this is my intuition telling me that I might need to end this in order to manifest the relationship that I want - be it with him or even someone else. It's hard to see things clearly being so in love.
If you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it!
- Paulo Coelho
- •
Thread Starter- jamna
- Junior
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- Registered: 5/16/2016
- Posts: 23
Re: What if I am trying too hard?
There is one thing about LoA you can absolutely rely on and that is that it is only about you. You have full control over your experience. There is nothing that can just happen to you without you having attracted it. There is no person that can do wrong to you without you in some form having expected it. As your post clearly shows, you think about his behaviour and now you talk about it and by doing so, you attract even more of that behaviour. He can't behave in any other way as long as you focus on him not properly communicating. You have to take the leap of faith and see in your imagination and feel in your heart what you can't see (yet) in your reality. Working on a relationship is never about telling the other person what you don't like. It's always about changing you. It's the only way to give the other person the possibility to change their behaviour.
Thanks, Sanshi!
I also think that the law of attraction is about ourselves and not about the other person. And you're probably right that I attracted his behaviour in some way. But I'm also wondering if I attracted this as a sign that I shouldn't hold onto this relationship because it's keeping me from getting what I want. What if for example we need to break up first, in order to get back together in the right way? Because I feel happy and surrounded by good vibes, but talking to my boyfriend is rather dragging me down, and even though it depends on me how I react to it should be a mutual thing
Last edited by jamna (2/06/2017 6:37 am)
If you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it!
- Paulo Coelho
- •
Thread StarterVeronica Isles LOA coach veronicaislescoaching.com